Chapter 18
eighteen
My phone pinging drags my attention away from my coding.
I blink, realizing I’ve lost several hours as I’ve broken through the law firm’s firewalls. I pick up the phone; Cynnie’s dark eyes look back at me over her sweet smile.
I run my hand over my own, aching eyes before I buzz her up. I completely lost track of time and now my bladder and stomach are letting me know about it. But I’m close to breaking into the client database of Scum, Scummier, and Scummiest LLC. Torn, I go to open the door for Cynnie.
My bumble runs up the stairs and bounces straight into my arms. Chuckling, I catch her and twirl her around and lose myself for long minutes in that soft mouth that tastes faintly of coconut before taking her bag and the black sack.
Underneath, she’s wearing a floaty ensemble of pastel gauze layers.
I like her fairy kei outfits, but they drown her sweet curves.
I’m not driven to dress up my baby girl the way Logan is, but I begin to understand the appeal.
As I’m helping her set up her laptop at my dining table, my stomach gurgles so loudly both of us stare at my belly like we’re waiting for an alien to burst forth.
Cynnie cups her hand over her mouth and giggles.
“Sorry, I got caught up in work and forgot to eat lunch.”
Cynnie rubs her fingers over my belly as though she can soothe my rumbling gut. “Can I make you something?”
“Sure. Can you cook? I mean, is it safe for your little?”
“It’s not safe for my little to be around stoves or knives, but I can be big while I’m cooking. Would you like noodles or do you have sandwich fixings?”
“I have both, but I’d love noodles.”
She leans up and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll make you noodles. Give me twenty minutes.”
“Thank you, bumble-baby.” I hold out my arms and give her a hug before she trots off to the kitchen.
I return to my hack, listening to the happy sounds of my girl humming and clattering around in my kitchen.
I’m not sure why that gives me such a rush.
It’s not like I believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
I just like the feel of it. It’s not something I’ve had before.
Scum, Scummier, and Scummiest’s last firewall falls as Cynnie appears in the doorway to my office with a tray set with a steaming bowl and a tall glass of what looks like lemonade.
“Do you want to eat at your desk?” she asks.
I start to say “yes,” then catch myself.
“No, baby. I’ll eat at the table with you, and you can tell me about what you’re working on today.”
She grins and turns back to my dining nook.
The noodles she’s made me are excellent.
Dark and sticky with some sauce I don’t recognize.
It has a strong, sweet, slightly fishy taste, but I like it.
I devour the whole bowl while Cynnie explains her current project.
I gathered during her first stay that her family business is medical illustration; Cynnie creates 3D renderings of diseases and disorders.
She’s currently working on a diagram of endometrial lesions and while it puts me off my food somewhat, I can only admire the detail of what she’s created.
We talk coding for a few minutes as she shows me some of the architecture behind the rendering and it occurs to me that I can’t keep what’s happening with Ness and his blackhats from her entirely.
“Cynnie, can you be big for a minute while I tell you something serious?” I ask.
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“Absolutely not. I thought we settled that. Slate’s wiped clean, right?”
She nods but doesn’t look convinced.
“Baby, we’re starting fresh.” I push the empty bowl to the side and take her hand. “This is about my work.”
“Oh.” She smiles tentatively. “I know you’re a hacker. Emily told me. It’s okay. I know you wouldn’t do . . . bad stuff.”
I squeeze her hand. “I’ve done stuff . . . bad stuff. I want to tell you about it, but I don’t want to upset you, baby.”
She chews on her lower lip for a moment. “I want you to tell me. I’ll be big for this. It won’t upset me. I want you to trust me with your important things.”
“Thank you.” I stroke her soft cheek. “When I came out of the Navy, I took some jobs with some very bad guys. They hired me to hack a program that controls physical security systems. CCTV. Door locks. Self-drive cars. The last job I did with them . . . people died. Kids. It was my fault. I left after that. I told them no more. But they want me back. They’re watching me.
I’m making myself as safe as I can, but .
. . I promised I’d tell you how I’m feeling and the truth is I’m scared. ”
“Oppa.” She slides into my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.
I hold her for a long, quiet moment and feel myself settle. Maybe it’s feeling that my world is centered with Cynnie in my arms, or that we’re both safe. But the tension that tightened my chest when I told her about my work for Ness and his crew ebbs away.
“Could you get hurt like Emmy’s daddy did?” she asks after several minutes.
“I hope not, but the people I used to work for might try to hurt me to get me to work for them again.”
She sighs. “I thought, with you working on computers, that you’d be safe.”
“I’m as safe as possible. I’m chipped and my location and vitals are monitored by a man who is in business with Logan and me. He’d know within a minute if anything happened to me.”
She chews on her lip some more. “Could he tell me? I just . . . if I tried to reach you and you were gone, I’d be so panicked.” Her eyes fill. “That’s how you felt, isn’t it? I’m so sorry, Oppa!”
I tuck her face into my neck and rock her in my arms. “It’s okay, baby. Shh. That’s behind us. We’re going to set some ground rules about communication, and it won’t happen again, and of course I’ll have Manny contact you if there’s any cause for concern.”
I rock her until her trembling stops and her eyes dry.
My chest squeezes to see her crying again, but behind that is the heavy warmth of knowing she cares enough to be upset.
While I don’t ever want her to ghost me again, I begin to understand why she did it.
She was looking for proof of my affection.
It was absolutely the wrong way to go about it and I’ll make sure she’s not in doubt again, but I understand it better now.
It's too easy to slot Cynnie into my life.
She works in my beanbag while I sit in my rig finishing the hack. Every time I glance up, her sweet face, creased in concentration with the tip of her tongue poking out of the side of her mouth, makes me smile.
When I tell her I’m digging up dirt on the man who hurt Emily’s daddy, she offers to help with “Project Dirty Digger.” Laughing, I decline her help but rename all the files with her adorable code name.
After I build myself a backdoor into the law firm’s client dbase and exit their system quietly, we head to the movies.
Cynnie laughs and cuddles and steals popcorn.
We readily agree on Armenian for dinner afterwards.
Over fragrant lavash, baba ghanoush, and shish kebobs the waiter assures us are dairy-free, we dissect the movie, laughing over the comic relief’s antics and the pop culture references, which are clearly aimed at adults even though it’s a kid’s movie.
I love the concentration Cynnie puts into it.
She overthinks everything just like I do.
Before we settle down for the evening, I make sure she texts her family. When she takes her phone out, I text Jack for last minute tips on a pleasure spanking.
Jack: Halfway through, stop and put some lotion on her. Soothes the skin and when you start again, spanking on damp skin = more intense.
I send him back a thumbs up, tuck my phone away, and get the lotion while Cynnie’s texting her grandmother. I keep myself from rubbing my hands in anticipation, but it’s a near thing.
Once we’re both ready for bed, teeth brushed, her adorable yellow and black striped onesie on, no distractions, I get her comfortable on the pillows while I stretch out beside her.
“I want to talk about what we’re going to do.”
She blinks those fathomless eyes up at me and traces my jaw with her fingertips. “I’z getting a spanking.”
“Yes, you are. Do you know why you’re getting a spanking?”
She shakes her head, her dark hair foaming on the pillow. “I hazen’t been bad.”
“No, you haven’t. You’ve been wonderful. And wonderful girls get spankings when their Oppa wants them to know what a wonderful girl they’ve been.”
Her eyes glow with happiness. It fills me up, heats my whole chest like I have a burning coal in place of my heart.
“What’s the best part of a spanking?” I ask.
“Everything.” She wriggles on the bed, pressing her round thighs together. “Heat from the spanking and getting sore and getting wet and lots of coming.”
“Yes, all of that. I want you to show me you want this spanking. You want everything your Oppa is giving you. Face down in the bed first, ass up, knees apart so I can see everything that’s mine.”
She squirms wildly before flipping over and burying her face in the pillow, arching her back and presenting her soft, round ass.
I take my time unsnapping the crotch of her onesie, running my fingers up and down her inner thighs, dipping inside her and exploring her soft petals.
She’s already slick with anticipation. I ramp her up further by fingering her while I lavish kisses, then nips, then bites hard enough to make her squeal into the pillows over the golden globes of her ass.
“I love how round you are, my bumble baby. I love how full these cheeks are. How they clench and bounce when I bite them.”
She turns her head so she can look at me. “Not fat?”
“Not fat. But would it matter? I love them. Isn’t that all that matters?”
She sighs happily. “Yes. Baachan says I’m getting fat. My bottom jiggles. Her bottom never jiggled.”