Chapter 9
nine
EMILY
Max video-calls right after Daddy’s gone to bed.
Daddy’s stake-out of Sacrum with Master Mac was a bust. There wasn’t a single sign of Joker’s B all night.
Daddy and Mac took turns keeping watch and neither got more than a few hours’ sleep.
Master Mac declared that after two sleepless nights his “tank was empty” and crashed.
Daddy tried to stay awake in the hopes that Max would call but even two cups of coffee couldn’t keep him from nodding off.
After hearing him snore and finding him with his head back in his office chair at an angle sure to give him a very stiff neck, I woke him and he admitted defeat.
Worrying my lip with my teeth, I take Max’s call. “Daddy’s napping. I think I should wake him.”
Max grins such a huge grin it almost reaches his ears. “Let him sleep. I’ll call again before we leave. I just wanted you to meet Livvy.”
He flips the camera over. Mr. De Leon scowls into the camera and then the view pans down his chest to what he’s got cradled in his arms.
My first impression is of bountiful dark brown curls, touched with red highlights in the hospital’s overhead lights. Then an adorable, round-cheeked face with big, cloudy gray eyes. Livvy smiles, showing an expanse of pink gums, before she stuffs her fist in her mouth and coos around it.
“Hello, Livvy,” I breathe. “I’m so happy to meet you.”
Max holds the phone camera on Livvy as she wriggles in Mr. De Leon’s arms. She’s dressed in one of the long-sleeved onesies that I sent over with Max: yellow with purple flying elephants all over it.
Her chubby legs are bare and she kicks them, showing off the knitted booties that match the onesie.
She has the cutest dimples on her knees.
Max’s hand enters the picture, his pinkie wiggling at Livvy. She coos. Max chuckles.
“She’s a really happy baby, Em. The ICU nurse spent an hour with us going over her feeding and sleeping schedule and kept saying what a happy baby she is. She started smiling last week and has been grinning non-stop ever since, the nurse says.”
“Probably gas,” Mr. De Leon grunts.
“Ass,” Max says.
“Yup, gas from her baby arse,” Mr. De Leon retorts.
“Ignore him, Em. He’s just sour because the nurse corrected him on how to hold the baby.”
“I told you, I haven’t held a baby since my niece and she’s a teenager now,” Mr. De Leon grumbles.
“Try not to break Daddy’s baby, Mr. De Leon,” I tease gently. “And thank you again for doing this.”
“You’re welcome,” Mr. De Leon says. “Tell Logan we’re still on schedule. We should touch down by eight p.m. if you want to meet the plane.”
“Daddy definitely does. He’d also love to see her if you can call again, Max.”
We’ve seen pictures of Livvy but she was asleep or drinking from a bottle in all of them. Daddy’s going to purely die when he sees Livvy’s smile.
“I will. Ah, here’s the nurse with her bottle. I’m going to feed her and then we’re going to head to the hotel to get some sleep before tomorrow’s flight home. If De Leon doesn’t drop my phone the way he tried to drop Livvy, I’ll have him take a video to send to Logan when he wakes up.”
“I didn’t drop her, you twat. I just wasn’t supporting her head right. Emily, don’t listen to a word this arse says. I’m an excellent babysitter.”
I chew on my lip, not sure what to say. Daddy has strong views about who should be spending time around Livvy and for all that Daddy let Mr. De Leon come to playgroup with us, I’m not sure he fits the bill.
My soft response is drowned by Max’s guffaw.
“Here, trade,” Max says, his voice still full of laughter.
There’s a spinning view of Mr. De Leon’s beard and nostrils, the unicorn baby blanket I sent over with Max, and the ceiling.
The view steadies on Max, now seated in a modular chair with Livvy tucked against one elbow while he holds a bottle with the other.
She suckles eagerly, her pink lips working, her eyes fixed on Max’s face.
“Hey baby,” Max says, his deep voice gentle. “Does that taste good?”
In an unrecognizable falsetto, Mr. De Leon says, “So good, Daddy Maxie.”
“Creep,” Max says. “You better have that recording.”
“How’d you do that again?” Mr. De Leon asks. “I’m used to handling million-dollar, prototype field equipment. I don’t know what to do with all these buttons on your older model smartphone. It’s con-fus-in’.”
Max chuckles. “You’re even more of a dick on five hours of sleep.”
I’ve only seen Max and Mr. De Leon together a few times but from their banter it’s clear they’re good friends. Daddy banters with Master Niall the same way.
Livvy begins fussing: kicking her feet and spitting out the bottle’s nipple. A woman’s soft voice from out of the camera’s frame says, “Just elevate her head a bit more. She’s probably getting a bit of trapped wind.”
Mr. De Leon laughs. “Who broke the baby, Maxie?”
Max adjusts Livvy, who immediately begins feeding again. He curls his fingers around the bottle to give Mr. De Leon the bird.
Masculine chuckles join the chorus of the baby’s sucking.
Daddy looks less exhausted after his nap but he’s almost tentative when he joins me in the office where I’m writing. He brings me a cup of tea and leaves it on the edge of my standing desk. He kisses the top of my head without interrupting my dictation, and seats himself quietly behind his desk.
Definitely not a wolfy daddy entrance.
I work until I’ve hit my word count for the day. I don’t dare the wrath of the Avengers. Then I hang up my headset and join Daddy at his desk. I kneel next to his chair and wait for him to acknowledge me. He immediately swivels his chair and holds out his arms. I climb into his lap.
His eyes are red-rimmed, which could just be the broken night’s sleep. I cup his face in my hands and kiss his cheeks before snuggling in. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Other than the fact I can’t seem to catch the Joker’s B. That’s majorly annoying. That aside, I’m just wondering how you’re feeling after seeing Max’s video of Livvy?”
He’s worried about me? Of course he is. Because my wonderful daddy puts me first. I wrap my arms around his neck.
“I’m feeling infatuated.”
“Infatuated?” Logan barks a small laugh. “That’s actually a good word for it. I feel lightheaded and excited and terrified. What if I make the same mistakes Myles and Max made but there’s no nurse there to correct me?”
“Master Mac and I are here and we’re both really good with babies, Daddy. I took care of my friend Gracie’s baby for months when he had colic. I won’t let you hold Livvy wrong.”
He rubs his warm hand up and down my back. “You’re turning the tables on me, aren’t you, baby doll? I keep expecting you to have doubts about this. I gear up to reassure you but you’re the one reassuring me.”
“I’ve been around babies plenty, Daddy. They don’t scare me.”
“This terrifies me, little love.”
“Promise I’ll be here for you every step of the way, Daddy. You’re not doing it alone. We’ll make the best daddy-little babysitting team there’s ever been. You’ll see.”
“You really don’t have any worries about her coming?”
I shake my head against his shoulder. I have little worries. Do I have enough booties? Will she like the sensory toys I’ve gotten for her or should I have bought different ones? Will she get along with Sable or will I have to keep him out of her nursery?
But big worries? No, I don’t have any of those. I’m confident in my ability to take care of a baby and I’m confident that Daddy will douse Livvy in all the love that’s in his big heart.
I might have had a niggle or two wondering how Daddy would balance our dynamic with taking care of Livvy.
But having seen the fearsome schedule he and Master Mac have worked out, I think it’s going to be more a case of trying to snatch some baby-time back from all her enthusiastic carers than it is getting Daddy-little time.
“I really, really don’t. I’m so excited to have her here.
I can’t wait to show her the Rexes and take her to baby swim and read to her and give her all the cuddles.
But if you have worries about anything, you can tell me.
I want to be the best little babysitter in the world and the best little babysitter helps her Daddy. ”
“Emmy.” He chuckles softly and cuddles me even closer. “I just don’t want to overload you.”
“Promise I’ll tell you if I’m feeling overloaded. Do you promise to tell me? Because I can help. Something I learned from helping Gracie with her son, if it’s just you and the baby, you’re outnumbered. Always better to be two-on-one. Whenever I can help you, just tell me.”
“I will, baby doll.” He strokes my head and we sit in silence for several minutes while I enjoy being held by my daddy. Finally, he says quietly, “Emmy, I know you want to be the world’s best little babysitter for Livvy. I’m very happy with that. I was just wondering if you might want to be more?”
“More like what?” I ask.
“I never want you to feel that you have less rights than her biological mother. Not in any way. You asked me for permission to create the book about Livvy and I was very happy to give it but I don’t want you feeling like you need my permission to make decisions about Livvy’s care.
I trust you completely, baby doll. I know you’ll always do the right thing for our daughter.
I just wonder if—maybe—you might want her to be your daughter legally? ”
I tip my head back until I can look into Logan’s dark eyes.
I’ve noticed he’s stopped using Miranda’s name.
Miranda can’t have anticipated how thoroughly dead to Daddy she’d become.
It’s her own fault but I can’t help feeling a smidge of sympathy.
She’s lost everything: her marriage, her home, her baby. And now her name.
“Is that something we could talk about after the wedding?” I ask.
“Of course.”
“If I wanted to adopt her, would it give Miranda another chance to get custody of Livvy?”
Logan shakes his head. “That’s something I’ve had both the solicitor in England and Franco at the club look at. You adopting Livvy is a formality once we’re married. Franco doesn’t even think there will be a hearing.”
“Okay, Daddy, I’ll think about it.”
“Something else I’d like you to think about, sweetheart.
You don’t need to give me an answer right now.
I want you to start thinking about it and then we can talk about it again during Knee Time.
Maybe it’s because Lizbeth and I are close in age but I’d like Livvy to have close siblings, too.
You said you wanted to have a couple of children.
What do you think about coming off birth control next year and getting started? ”
I don’t even need to think about that one.
Where the idea of usurping whatever last connection Miranda has to her daughter—even though I totally understand that Daddy doesn’t want her to have any connection at all—makes me feel a little funny, I’m already on board with getting pregnant.
So much so that I already made an appointment with my gynecologist for January.
“Yes, Daddy.”
“You’ll think about it?”
I shake my head. “I’ll come off birth control. I’ve already made an appointment for January to get my implant removed.”
His reddened eyes light up. “You have?”
“Yup. I know you and Master Mac are working really hard so that Livvy joining us doesn’t upset our dynamic but it’s inevitable that there will be adjustments. Small kids are like that; they need a lot of attention. I’m not saying I want to get it over with but—”
Daddy chuckles. “You want to get it over with. I understand, Emmy. I remember what the twins were like as babies and toddlers. It’s not the easiest time.”
“It’s not and I don’t know how long it will take me to get pregnant. We know your swimmers are up to the job but I’ve been trying not to get pregnant for nearly twenty years. My body may take a little time to get with the new program.”
Logan kisses my forehead. “We’re not on a schedule.”
I nudge him gently. “Well, that would be a change.”
He laughs. “You like my schedules.”
I do. And I like snuggles with Daddy. I cuddle in and enjoy.