Chapter 11 #2
Max comes to the plane’s doorway with a car seat.
He hands the car seat to Myles and disappears back into the plane’s interior.
Myles cradles the car seat in one arm and wiggles his forefinger at the seat’s occupant.
The hangar is noisy from a plane taxiing down the runway just beyond the hangar doors, so I can’t hear what Myles says or how the seat’s occupant responds.
But I can see the tiny fist that rises out of the pile of blankets and waves around.
My chest clenches.
I put my arm around Emily and lead her forward.
Myles strolls toward us, his head down so his hair curtains his face.
It doesn’t look like he’s watching where he’s going but I’ve never seen him misstep.
If anything, I’d say Myles is hyper-aware of his environment, the way I was when I first got back from Somalia and after Jason-the-murderous-bastard hit me twice in the head with a fire extinguisher.
My hair trigger has calmed down considerably in the months since then.
I’m not sure Myles’ hair trigger will ever relax.
He stops at arm’s length without lifting his head. I lean over the car seat and see my daughter face-to-face for the first time.
I’ve heard that all babies look the same.
That you can’t tell anything about what the adult will look like from a baby’s face.
But I’d have known Livvy’s mine just by looking at her, without any need for the paternity test. She looks exactly like my sister Lizbeth when she was a baby, except for the eyes.
I don’t know if her eyes will darken to my brown or remain their current, cloudy gray but they don’t detract from the resemblance.
“Hey, baby.” I swallow hard to clear the thickness from my voice. “Nice to meet you.”
“Can I pick her up?” Emily asks.
“Of course, baby doll. You don’t need permission.”
Emily smiles at me and reaches into the car seat.
She deftly unclips the safety straps and lifts the baby out of the seat.
Somehow she bundles the baby’s blankets around Livvy’s body without the blankets ending up on the ground.
Emmy smiles and the baby immediately returns her smile, then sticks her fist into her mouth and gums it.
“Happy baby,” Max says, joining us with two bags slung over his shoulders. Myles sets the car seat at my feet and takes one of the bags from Max.
“Thank you both so much for bringing her home,” I say.
Max claps me on the shoulder. “Always glad for an excuse to visit moldy old England. I’ve got some not-great news, though.
Miranda made a scene at the hospital yesterday, demanding to see the baby.
The hospital staff were firm with her but she said she’s taking a flight today and will be in New York by nighttime. ”
I tip my head from side to side to crack my neck. “She can do whatever she wants. I can’t stop her from coming to New York.”
Emily turns worried eyes up to me. “Daddy?”
I stroke her soft head before I lean over to smile at Livvy. “Nothing to be worried about, my little love. My little loves. Neither of you ever have to deal with her again.”
Emily straightens her shoulders and pulls her face back into a smile.
I kiss her forehead so she knows I appreciate her effort.
We’ve spent a lot of time talking about Miranda since her last visit.
Emily’s worked hard on overcoming the insecurities that allowed Miranda to bait and wound her.
I’m very proud of my little wonder’s efforts.
I hope that Miranda showing up in New York won’t set her back.
But I meant what I said. There’s nothing I can do to keep Miranda from coming to New York.
But neither Emily nor Olivia ever have to deal with her again.
Miranda’s my problem. And if she makes herself a problem, I’ll deal with her my way.
We say our goodbyes and I spend much too long figuring out how to strap the car seat securely into Manny’s limo, despite studying the damn schematics for what felt like hours before we sent the car seat off with Max and Myles.
Emmy hands me Olivia and I hold my daughter in my arms for the first time.
It should feel smooth and natural, right?
Instead, I’m nearly paralyzed with fear that I’m not supporting her head enough. She begins fussing, probably because I’m holding her wrong, so I tuck her into her car seat quickly and then spend five minutes trying to figure out the straps.
Emily takes pity on me. She straightens the blankets around Olivia and pops in a pacifier, then clips her in the seat with three easy movements. Grunting my chagrin, I climb in beside my baby doll and cuddle her into my side while I fasten her seat belt.
“This all comes totally naturally to you, doesn’t it, little girl?”
“No, Daddy. I’ve taken Gracie’s son lots of places in his car seat. I bought a similar model for Livvy so I’d know how to use it. I spent about an hour trying to get the seat out of the car the first time.”
I chuckle. “That makes me feel better.”
She curls her small hand around mine and squeezes. “No reason to feel bad, Daddy. You’ll pick it up and I’m here to help with everything.”
“I know you are, sweetheart. I appreciate it.”
“Can I ask . . . what are you going to do about Miranda?”
“I’m going to give her no reason to stay. She’s blocked from our phones. She’s not allowed at the house. She has no right to see Livvy. If she wants to spend the holidays in New York, that’s up to her but she’s not interacting with us.”
“If she hangs around the house, what do I do?”
“Report her to the police for stalking. I know a certain detective who will be happy to take your call.”
Emmy tips her head onto my shoulder. “Okay, Daddy, I get it. Zero contact.”
“Zero contact,” I confirm. “She has no right to your time, Emmy.”
“I just feel a little bad for her.”
My sweet girl and her endless empathy.
“You can feel sorry for how she’s fucked up her life without allowing her any access to your physical, mental, or emotional space, my baby.”
“Right. You’re right, Daddy.”
“I know I am. I trust you to follow my rules and respect the boundaries I’ve set up. If you do, Miranda will have no place in our lives. But if she does anything to harass you, Emmy, I want to know about it straight away. Daddy will deal with it.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“I want you free to focus on your daddy and your writing and your kitty and bonding with Livvy. You would have been free to focus on those things if I’d done a better job creating a safe space for you.
I’ve told you I’m sorry for letting her into your safe space before and I’ll say it again.
I’m sorry, baby doll. I’m not making the same mistake a second time. She doesn’t have any contact with you.”
She nods and cuddles in. “ILY, Daddy.”
“ILY too, sweetheart.”