The Daily Life of a Melon-Eating Slacker

Chapter 1

Lou Yuqing listened to the cold, mechanical voice echoing in her mind and nearly shouted in desperation, Faster—hurry up!

Half an hour ago, she had transmigrated into this world.

The moment she opened her eyes, she saw it—a massive striped tiger in the distance, prowling toward her with slow, deliberate steps.

She had run.

Run blindly, desperately—until she realized too late that she'd trapped herself in a dead end.

Now, standing at the edge of a sheer cliff, Lou Yuqing's heart sank straight into her stomach.

And at that exact, life-or-death moment, the heavens finally decided to respond.

Her eyes lit up instantly.

So it was true. Every transmigrator really did come with a system.

Her thoughts raced. Was it a counterattack system? A face-slapping system? Or maybe that trendy simulation system she'd heard about?

She didn't need anything fancy.

Just... something that could help her survive a tiger.

"Why is it still loading?" she muttered, forcing herself to stay calm. "It must be a large data package... yeah, that's it. That's normal."

"ROAR—!"

The tiger's thunderous roar shattered her fragile reassurance.

It was enormous—over ten feet long, nearly six feet at the shoulder. Each step it took carried a crushing weight, like the air itself was being pressed down around it.

If this were a screen, she'd be cheering for it.

Unfortunately, she was the prey.

Please don't come any closer...

Behind her was the cliff. In front of her, death on four legs.

No escape.

"System, if you don't finish loading soon, I'm going to get eaten!"

"..."

Lou Yuqing took a deep breath.

Right. Fine. I'll save myself.

Should she roar like a beast to scare it off?

No. That would probably just piss it off.

Jump off the cliff and hang onto a tree?

...Were there even trees below? She hadn't checked.

Her thoughts tangled into knots. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't come up with a viable plan. Sweat soaked her back as panic tightened around her chest.

Then—

Something felt off.

The tiger had stopped advancing.

It paced back and forth about ten feet away, restless... hesitant.

Afraid?

Afraid of her?

Lou Yuqing froze, then quickly began rummaging through her clothes.

When her hand brushed against something hard inside her robe, she pulled it out—a black incense stick, along with a small cylindrical tinderbox.

Without hesitation, she lit it.

A thin stream of smoke curled into the air, drifting with the wind.

The tiger inhaled—

—and its expression changed.

A very human kind of fear flickered in its golden eyes.

Yet... it didn't retreat.

Lou Yuqing gripped the incense tightly, holding her ground as if her life depended on it—because it did.

The stick burned slowly.

Too slowly.

As the last few inches dwindled down to ash, her heartbeat quickened, louder and louder in her ears.

"Come on... just one more percent," she whispered, her voice tight with nerves.

Then—

A translucent panel materialized before her eyes.

"..."

Wait.

A gossip system?

She liked gossip as much as the next person—but could gossip kill a tiger?!

And if she wasn't mistaken, her entire starting balance couldn't even afford the gossip listed above.

The only useful piece of information—

Qing Xuzi, the so-called "gossip owner," was within one mile.

...So what?

She didn't even know who that was.

At that moment—

The incense burned out.

The final ash fell.

"ROAR—!"

The tiger lunged forward, its golden eyes blazing, muscles rippling beneath striped fur as it advanced with the unstoppable presence of a predator king.

Lou Yuqing's pupils shrank.

She instinctively stepped back—

—and stepped into empty air.

Her body tipped, her hands grasping at nothing—

Then she fell.

One second.

Two seconds.

...A soft, weightless sensation caught her.

She blinked.

She wasn't dead?

Opening her eyes, she found herself lying on a drifting white cloud—soft as cotton, gently carrying her back toward the cliff.

An old man stood there.

He hadn't been there before.

Clad in flowing robes, long beard swaying lightly, he exuded an air of detached serenity, like someone untouched by the mortal world. His gaze rested on her, warm and knowing.

"What is your name, child?"

A cultivator.

She had transmigrated into a cultivation world.

Lou Yuqing's heart stirred under his gaze. It felt as though he could see right through her.

Climbing off the cloud, she bowed respectfully. "My name is Lou Yuqing. Thank you for saving me."

The old man nodded.

"I once had ties with your Lou family's ancestor. I gave him a stick of Immortal-Attracting Incense—light it, and I would come."

"So it was yours..." Lou Yuqing glanced at the tiger.

The beast now lay flat on the ground, tail tucked, utterly subdued.

"No wonder it didn't dare approach."

"A mere mortal tiger," the old man said lightly. "Naturally it fears the scent of immortal incense. You were fortunate to encounter me."

He paused, studying her.

"Your ancestor never used it. Yet you, his descendant, do not even recognize it... It seems your family has changed. Tell me—who remains in the Lou family?"

Lou Yuqing searched her memories.

"The Lou family has always had one heir per generation. I was my parents' only child. A few years ago... they passed away in a conflict."

She lowered her gaze.

"I am alone now."

The old man sighed softly, a trace of nostalgia in his eyes.

Times had changed.

The past had long drifted away.

Looking at her again, his expression softened.

"In that case... would you be willing to return to the sect with me?"

"Yes—this junior is willing!"

Lou Yuqing agreed without hesitation.

This world was dangerous. Her system was... questionable at best.

If she could secure a powerful backer, she'd be a fool not to.

The old man smiled faintly.

"Our sect is called the Wendao Sect. My Daoist name is Qingxuzi. I am its leader—you may address me as Grandmaster."

Qingxuzi?

Lou Yuqing blinked.

Wait—that's the same Qing Xuzi from the system panel...

So the system wasn't completely useless after all.

Seeing her momentary daze, Qingxuzi tilted his head. "Hmm?"

She quickly flashed a bright smile. "Grandmaster."

"That's more like it."

His tone turned serious.

"Yuqing, if you possess spiritual roots, I will guide you in cultivation. If not, I will arrange for you to live at the mountain's foot. Do you understand?"

"I understand," she replied solemnly. "Spiritual roots are determined by heaven. I will not cling to obsession over what cannot be changed."

Qingxuzi nodded, clearly pleased.

This girl was far more open-minded than her ancestor had been.

Back then... one had spiritual roots, the other did not.

Immortal and mortal—forever parted.

He shook his head, dispelling the memory, and began introducing the sect.

The Wendao Sect lay within the Yuelin Mountain Range—a vast expanse stretching over a hundred thousand miles. From afar, it resembled a coiling dragon, its nine main peaks forming the dragon's head.

Countless other peaks rose along its body—some towering into the heavens, others piercing the clouds at lesser heights.

On the surface, it appeared ordinary—lush forests, towering mountains, thick fog that deterred travelers.

But in truth—

The entire range was cloaked in a massive formation.

The fog was an illusion.

Within it, pavilions and palaces filled the land, disciples flying through the air on magical artifacts, creating a vibrant, bustling world hidden from mortal eyes.

As Lou Yuqing followed Qingxuzi through the mist, the illusion peeled away—

—and the true landscape unfolded before her.

Her breath caught.

Buildings stretched endlessly below, layered and magnificent.

"Wow..."

Qingxuzi chuckled.

Every new disciple reacted like this.

Meanwhile, Lou Yuqing quietly opened her system panel.

The list kept updating as they moved deeper into the sect, hovering around twenty entries, ranked by gossip value.

She sighed inwardly.

This place is basically a giant gossip goldmine...

Too bad she couldn't afford any of it.

Soon, they arrived at Xuantian Peak—the residence of successive sect leaders.

Qingxuzi gestured ahead.

"That is the council hall. If you need anything, come find me there."

"Understood."

The hall was built of white jade, its gates towering over ten zhang high. Two young disciples guarding the entrance bowed deeply.

"Disciple greets Sect Leader."

Qingxuzi acknowledged them and led Lou Yuqing inside.

The guards exchanged glances.

Who was that girl?

Inside the hall stood three figures.

An elderly man in gray linen.

A handsome young man standing beside him.

And a seated figure in moon-white robes, jade crown resting atop his head—calm, composed, unmoving.

As Qingxuzi entered, the man glanced up... but did not rise.

"Greetings, Uncle-Master," Qingxuzi said respectfully, bowing. "What brings you here?"

The man remained silent.

Instead, the gray-robed elder spoke.

"Sect Leader, I recently returned to my clan and discovered a promising youth with a lightning spiritual root. I brought him for Uncle's evaluation."

Qingxuzi's brows lifted slightly. "Junior Brother Zeng, such fortune! Uncle also possesses a lightning root—if he accepts this disciple, the future will be boundless."

He glanced at the young man.

Foundation Establishment stage already.

"Why wasn't he brought sooner? Uncle has already announced he will take disciples."

Zeng Xuangan sighed. "Changfeng lived away from the clan since childhood. He only recently returned—I confirmed his identity before bringing him here."

Zeng Changfeng...

The name felt familiar.

Lou Yuqing opened her panel.

There it was.

Before she could stop herself-her finger slipped.

[Wow, a big gossip!]

Everyone froze.

...What was that?

Lou Yuqing didn't even have time to mourn her now-zero gossip points.

Her eyes darted across the unlocked information.

[Zeng Changfeng has a peculiar hobby: he likes other men's wives. On average, he seduces one married woman per year, with over twenty victims.]

...Other men's wives?!

Qingxuzi's expression turned strange.

The young man looked upright, dignified—even honest.

And yet...

Appearances truly deceived.

Wait.

Why could he hear that?

Yuqing hadn't spoken.

Was that... her thoughts?

Zeng Xuangan's face darkened instantly.

Slander!

If Uncle believed this nonsense, wouldn't it ruin Changfeng's future?

"You—"

He tried to speak.

But the word stuck.

His throat refused to cooperate.

He tried again.

And again.

Nothing.

As if an unseen force sealed his voice whenever it touched on that matter.

"Sect Leader... Senior Brother..."

"Junior Brother Zeng..."

The two exchanged voice transmissions, eyes meeting.

"You heard it too."

"Yes. It's coming from the girl behind me," Qingxuzi admitted helplessly.

Zeng Xuangan finally glanced at Lou Yuqing—but saw nothing unusual.

What they didn't notice—was the slight shift in posture from the man in white.

The Purple Cloud Immortal Venerable... had straightened.

Yuqing's thoughts continued.

[Why did Zeng Changfeng become like this? It started with a childhood sweetheart. They were deeply in love—about to marry—until her family forcibly separated them.]

[When she married someone else, he snapped. Decided to "take revenge"... by becoming a mistress himself. Seducing other men's wives for pleasure.]

[Revenge? Please. You're clearly enjoying it.]

Lou Yuqing felt speechless.

Qingxuzi shot Zeng Xuangan a look. Is this true?

Zeng Xuangan: ...I just met him yesterday!

Still, he had to verify.

"Changfeng," he said carefully, "before returning to the clan, did you have any close companions? Childhood friends?"

Zeng Changfeng's expression flickered—just for a moment.

Then it vanished.

"Ancestor, I've always wandered alone. No close friends. No childhood sweetheart."

He remained calm.

Internally, he smirked.

Perfect answer. That should earn sympathy from Immortal Venerable Zixiao.

But no one reacted to his words.

Instead, every gaze fixed on him—sharp, scrutinizing.

That fleeting expression had not gone unnoticed.

[He who walks by the river will eventually get his shoes wet... hasn't he been caught? Oh—he's really in trouble.]

[The victim is a Golden Core cultivator. It happened during his hundred-year birthday banquet...]

[While the host was drinking outside, Zeng Changfeng was inside—with his Dao partner. As for what they did... let's just say the censors wouldn't approve.]

Zeng Xuangan's heart nearly stopped.

This... this would destroy the family's reputation!

[They got so carried away, they crushed a Sensing Bead on her body. The bead was placed by the Golden Core cultivator—if it broke, he'd know immediately.]

[So he rushed back—burst open the door—and found a stranger tangled up with his wife on his own bed.]

[Tragic. Anyone would think he was the third party.]

Qingxuzi stroked his beard slowly. In all my years... I've never seen anything this outrageous.

[Poor man. His birthday banquet turned into a scandal. Now he hides at home, too ashamed to go out.]

[Honestly, if not for the Zeng family recognizing Changfeng as their descendant through a jade pendant, he'd probably be dead already.]

[Why accept him at all? Aren't they worried about losing face? The rumors are everywhere.]

Zeng Xuangan's expression darkened further.

He'd like to know that too.

Zeng Changfeng felt a chill crawl up his spine.

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

But no one spoke.

[Oh... so it's because Immortal Venerable Zixiao is accepting disciples. The more rare the spiritual root, the higher the chances. Lightning roots are rare—so the Zeng family started searching.]

Zeng Xuangan: "..."

That... is technically true.

Then—

Lou Yuqing cast a sympathetic glance at the seated man in white.

[Immortal Venerable Zixiao probably doesn't know... that this "disciple" will betray him. Steal his Dao partner. Take his healing pills. Ruin his cultivation.]

[By the time he realizes... he'll already be a laughingstock across the cultivation world.]

Everyone: !!!