Chapter 8
THE NEXT FEW SLEEP and wake cycles passed the same.
Wake up, eat, rest, sleep, wake up, eat, rest, sleep.
Vrix had said that exhaustion was a symptom of the incubation process and he wasn’t lying; Giselle’s body felt like it was dragging through mud every time she tried to move.
The two aliens had been surprisingly gentle with her while she went through the dissipation process, her stomach slowly returning to its normal, non-bloated state.
They hadn’t pounced on her or hurt her in any way.
They took turns cuddling her in the bed—sometimes both at the same time—and bringing her food and water when she needed it.
There was a sense of loss when she woke up and the eggs were gone. Her womb, or the cavity that was once her womb, was empty. She could feel it in her belly, but mostly in her heart, a deep hollowness that was impossible to shake.
Vrix held her, brushing her hair and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, something that perked her up, but only a bit.
The haze from the incubation was gone and now the bigger issue remained; she was getting farther and farther away from Earth. Even more pressing, the Dalgurs wanted to perform surgery on her so she could actually host their brood.
Even as she lay in bed, comforted by his sweet words and warm embrace, she agonized over her future. She tried to hold on to hope that she could convince them to change their minds, to take her home, to let her be free.
A thought came to her, one she wasn’t sure would be helpful, but it was something she’d been meaning to ask Vrix in between bouts of uninterrupted sleep.
“What did you mean when you said you and Thase had been isolated?”
The words had struck her when he’d mentioned it before Umuna, but now they clung to her like a riddle.
He paused, eyeing her suspiciously, as if deciding whether to answer the question.
“We have not returned to our homeworld in quite some time.”
“Why not?”
Giselle watched him, examining his face for any clues, but his expression was solemn.
“We… are not allowed to return.”
He looked away, his eyes focused on the ceiling.
“What do you mean? Why can’t you go back?”
He was silent for a long while, his chest rising and falling in a gentle rhythm, before turning back to her.
“Thase and I were designated as deviants, which means we can never step foot on our homeworld again.”
Her eyes widened, and she swallowed hard, trying to process the information.
“Deviants?”
Vrix glanced around the room, his discomfort clear, though he continued.
“Dalgurs are expected to mix their genes, but they do not take romantic partners. It is taboo for our species, as we are bound to the biological imperative.”
“And Thase is your… romantic partner?”
He focused on her again, his arms squeezing her tighter.
“He is, though he does not like to admit it, and we do not use that phrase exactly. We were punished with exile when our people found out.”
“Oh,” was all Giselle could manage, her heart breaking for him.
God, she shouldn’t be feeling pity for someone who’d hurt her, abducted her, wanted to use her as his brood mare, but she did.
Loving someone in a world without love? She couldn’t imagine never being able to experience the comfort and caress of a partner. Not just the physical connection, but the emotional intimacy as well, knowing someone would do anything for you, love you without bounds.
Something she still hoped to feel one day, knowing that Anthony’s devotion had been false.
She needed something, anything, to stop the fluttering in her chest. These aliens did not deserve her pity.
Maybe Vrix sensed the tension too, because his question brought her some relief.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
Vrix held her hand as they meandered down the winding hallways, repeating a loop that took a couple of minutes to complete. They stopped near one of the expansive windows.
“Romantic partners are common on Earth?” he asked, breaking the pleasant silence.
Giselle eyed him, but his gaze remained glued to the stars whizzing by.
“Yes. A lot of people either have a partner or want one.”
A bit of an understatement, sure. She knew how her single friends scrolled endlessly on the apps, hoping to meet someone to settle down with, but finding only losers.
But she’d been the one with the biggest loser all along.
Vrix turned to her.
“And why did you leave yours? If partnership is so coveted?”
A knot welled in her throat; the first time she’d really thought of Anthony in days. He’d been easy enough to forget with all that had been happening, but the reference to him still tightened her chest.
“He left me, actually. I don’t know why, he didn’t really give me an explanation. That’s why I was in the desert when…” she trailed off.
“Was he upset because you removed your womb?” Vrix asked, an earnest expression on his face.
The question jolted her, sweat beading on her brow despite the perfect temperature of the ship.
“Oh, I… I’m not sure.”
She had considered it, of course, deep in the back of her mind, when things weren’t going well. He had been obsessed with his nieces and nephews and she couldn’t help but wonder if some of the exaggerated antics were for her benefit, to remind her of what they were missing out on.
“Is it common for humans to remove their wombs?”
His eyes were on her now, his look so sincere she didn’t try to stop herself from answering.
“It’s not uncommon, no, but often it’s for a medical reason, to remove a disease or reduce symptoms. I had a difficult time finding a doctor willing to do the surgery. They all said I should just deal with my pain, that I’d change my mind about not wanting children.”
Vrix nodded, his gaze returning to the window.
“It is difficult for me to understand. I feel the imperative to reproduce so strongly it hurts sometimes. Though, that is minor compared to how I feel about Thase…”
He squeezed her hand, and for a moment, she wondered if there were unsaid words that he wanted to add.
How I feel about you.
Without warning, he pulled her into a hug, his chin fitting snugly on the top of her head, as if they were made for each other.
“What I do know is that your former partner is a fool for letting you go. If we were returning to Earth, I would find him and tear his limbs from his body. I would enjoy making him scream for how he hurt you.”
Giselle swallowed hard, tears welling in her eyes despite the ferocity of his words. Promises she had no doubt he’d act upon if he had half a chance. Her heart swelled, trying to believe the truth in his statement.
Anthony was a fool.
She wrapped her arms around Vrix’s waist, soaking in the comfort. And it felt real, not the fabricated peace that encompassed her when he touched her with his tentacles.
His voice was a whisper in her ear.
“But we will care for you, treasure you. Our perfect little pet.”
A tear spilled down her cheek and she sniffled hard, trying to stop the floodgates from opening. She pushed out of his grasp, looking him in the eye.
“If you mean what you say, then don’t force me to have surgery. Please. I’ll go with you. I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll do whatever you want, but please don’t try to reconstruct my womb.”
Vrix’s eyes widened, a look of horror crossing his face.
“Did you not enjoy the way we filled you before?”
She considered it, choosing her words carefully.
“I did, in a way. But it also hurt me. Not physically, but emotionally. I don’t want children, whether they’re human or Dalgur. I want to have at least some control over my body. Please don’t make me do it.”
Giselle’s voice was trembling, her body quivering in his arms, and he nodded, his face clouded with concern.
“I will speak with Thase. If you truly are so opposed to hosting our broods, I suppose we can be content with using you for pleasure.”
A statement that should have been frightening, but instead lit a beacon of hope. She was eager enough to be used by them again, the hazy memory of Umuna filling her chest with lightness.
Earth was slipping through her fingers, but perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing.
As long as she wouldn’t be host to some horrid brood, she could find happiness in being used as a doll, a plaything for two overeager aliens.
She could survive.
Vrix dragged her to him again, squeezing her tightly, refusing to let go.