27 #2
“Here.” Emeric places a small key in Slade’s palm. “It’ll get you into my place, in case you two arrive first.”
Slade nods again, pocketing it.
“Be careful,” Ceri says. The smile she directs my way is tight. It feels like the words are meant for me, specifically.
Slade waves as Ceri rolls up the window once more, and then the vehicle speeds off. I watch them go, wishing my stomach would stop its relentless churning. I’m no stranger to dangerous tasks, but my current source of unease has nothing to do with the Reaches.
An icy breeze whips my hair around my face, and I spit it away, glaring at Slade. “Okay. Is this where you tell me what the fuck your problem is?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he lashes out with impossible speed.
The next thing I know, I’m flat on the ground, an involuntary breath hissing from my lungs.
Rocks dig into my back, but I don’t even feel them.
I’m too busy trying to wrestle his hand from my throat.
He’s not choking me, but his grip brackets my neck firmly enough that it’s difficult to draw breath.
A spike of fear lances through me, and I let out the soft growl of a trapped animal.
Slade’s expression as he watches me struggle is almost bored.
His body is braced atop mine, pinning me down.
It’s obvious he’s waiting for me to give up.
“What the hell,” I snarl, still writhing beneath his hips. The ground is damp and cold, but my body is hot. Too hot.
Slade loosens his grip a little more. Suddenly his face is right beside mine, his lips at my ear. “Who were you talking to on the phone, Talin?”
I strain my neck to get away from him, but it’s a futile effort. “Am I supposed to know what the fuck you’re on about?”
I do know though. He can only be referring to one thing. Ice shoots through my veins.
A laugh claws free of his chest, and fury emanates from him like something physical.
“I thought you were a clever thing, but apparently I was giving you more credit than you deserve. Ceri told me you asked to place a call yesterday. She’s too trusting for her own good, you see.
Too helpful.” Slade traces my temple with one long finger, but it’s far from a friendly caress.
It feels like a violent promise. “You really had me, Talin. I truly believed you hated Gabriel. That you wanted to be free of him. After all, who wouldn’t? ”
“That is what I want,” I insist, but it’s difficult to sound emphatic when I’m so breathless.
I gulp more air. “You’re such a fucking idiot.
Gabriel doesn’t know I plan to betray him, so of course I have to keep up appearances.
If I never contacted him, it would look pretty damn suspicious, now wouldn’t it? ”
Slade bares his teeth. “You’re a liar. You’ve been lying from the start, haven’t you? That’s why you don’t want to confess to me. That’s why I got so little from you, the one night you gave in. It was hardly even a rush.”
“The confession I gave was true,” I manage. “And I wasn’t—”
“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right here.” He presses harder on my neck. I squirm beneath him, desperately trying to remember the defensive tactics to free myself.
Use your legs to knock your attacker forward. The goal is to get them into a position where they’ll need to use one or both arms to brace themselves. Link both hands around an arm and yank down, destabilizing their foundation. Roll with them in the direction of the compromised arm…
But even with the impatient voice of the Regiment agent who coached me ringing in my ears, I can’t make Slade budge. He’s not a large man, but he might as well weigh a ton for all the good my efforts do.
I should be afraid. I know that. I’m perilously aware that my body’s reaction to the present situation isn’t normal.
I shouldn’t enjoy the pressure at my neck or the weight of him pressing me into the ground.
I shouldn’t be squeezing my thighs together this way.
“You still need me. Astor will be expected to have a hired sinner with him. Besides, I know Gabriel better than anyone.”
“Maybe I’m willing to take the risk.” Slade hasn’t blinked once as he stares down at me. “Things have changed, you see. You’ve compromised what little trust I was willing to give you.”
I spit at him, but he doesn’t flinch. Suddenly I don’t care how angry he is—I’m angrier.
The words I hurl at him are vicious, mocking.
“You want to know why you shouldn’t kill me?
I don’t have an answer. You probably should.
But you won’t, because you’re not really a monster, are you?
You’re just a man obsessed with cultivating a dangerous image.
Just a boy hiding in the Trench, scared to face his big brother.
The Warden, your reputation… It’s all a farce. ”
Slade isn’t grimacing anymore. Even from my position beneath him, I can tell that he’s smiling, and it’s a wicked, terrible thing.
“A farce?” he hisses, making my skin crawl.
“Do you think I brought the Trench back to life out of the goodness of my heart? Did you think me benevolent, creating a space where people like you could roam freely, untouched by the Regiment’s influence and judgment?
Because I’ll tell you a secret, little sinner: I created that space for me.
Do you know how easy it is to coax confessions from the worst of humanity?
Do you know how simple it is to find someone who’s sinned enough to satisfy me, to sustain me?
I needed to establish a new territory, so I figured I might as well make it worth my time. I made myself a fucking buffet.”
I go utterly still as his words sink in.
It all finally makes perfect sense. The Trench is full of society’s least privileged: sinners who would never report anything to the Regiment, no matter the situation.
This whole time, even knowing how dangerous Slade is, I’ve subconsciously been thinking of him as a man shunned by the rest of the world, trying to make the best of his isolation.
A shadow creature resigned to his existence in a shadow world.
But that isn’t true, is it? The Trench isn’t a place he created to cope with his unofficial exile.
It’s a feeding ground.
“You already know what happens to those who don’t behave themselves in my territory, don’t you?” he goes on, smile widening as he picks up on my dawning comprehension. “They die. I snap their necks as easily as I snapped Darva’s. Oh, my presence protects them, but only if they play by my rules.”
Suddenly his fingers are at my chin, grip tight enough to ache as he tilts my face up. Rocks shift painfully beneath me, but I don’t move. Don’t breathe. I only stare into the unfathomable depths of his eyes, looking for something I know instinctively I won’t find.
“Do you see?” he whispers, almost too soft to hear. “Now do you see?”
“Yes.” I’m resolute, speaking between my teeth. “I think I do. You need to be in control. You never are, though, when it comes to me. Not in the way you long to be. Not unless I allow it.”
Slade’s jaw tightens. His silence tells me everything I need to know. When he pulls back slightly, I take advantage of it, kneeing him hard in the stomach. He growls but doesn’t retaliate as I pull myself up onto my elbows.
“I was never on Gabriel’s side,” I say acidly. “Especially not after you offered to make me a diabolist. But if this is going to work, I need Gabriel to think I’m helping him.”
“Then tell me this: Does my brother know we’re coming?”
I’m motionless. This time the fear that uncoils in my chest is real, and my entire body is braced in anticipation of…what?
What I don’t expect is for Slade to exhale a laugh through his nose and get to his feet, releasing me. I don’t move right away, distrusting the abrupt change in his demeanor. Finally I push myself to stand.
He’s too calm as he meets my gaze. “Ah, little liar,” he breathes. “Gabriel’s expecting us, isn’t he? He instructed you to lure me to him.”
“Yes.” There’s no point in lying any longer. “I’m supposed to send you to the Prophet’s Sanctum tomorrow at midnight.”
“How fitting. My brother can die atop his own holy altar. Quite a complicated game you’ve been playing, isn’t it?”
I say nothing.
“So my brother expects us to try and cross into the Reaches,” he continues.
“Might even have made it easy for us, but I’m not supposed to know as much.
Which I assume is why you stood by and helped me come up with a plan despite knowing we didn’t truly require one.
” Slade’s eyes snap to me, his torso already pivoting in the direction of the water.
“Does Gabriel know when we’re crossing?”
I shake my head. “No. I swear it.”
“Well then, at least there’s that. We’d better move fast.”
I’m bewildered enough that the question slips out before I can think better of it. “So we’re still doing this?”
He laughs again, this time as though enjoying some private joke. The sound has a sharp edge to it. “Oh, we’re doing this,” he says quietly. “And you will pay for this. But not just now.” His gaze slips from mine to the river below, where a boat approaches on choppy waves. “Right on time.”