Chapter 3 Astraea
Astraea
I didn’t know why I was nervous to see Zathrian. He was still the exact same person I knew, no matter what he was. Yet my hands clammed, my heart raced, and I faltered just past the door at the sight of him, propped up and smiling.
As if he hadn’t narrowly avoided death. As if his wound wasn’t still bandaged and healing. He was just … Zath. All bright blue eyes and dashing grin. When his gaze slipped to me, a whimper escaped my lips.
“I don’t look that bad, do I?” he said, voice still thick from his long rest. “It’s good to see you, Stray.”
My brow crumpled to hear him call me by that name. To recall how much of a dear friend he’d been while I was finding my way.
I let out a breathy laugh, and the image of him blurred more as I edged closer.
“How is he?” I asked Lilith, who had been his savior. Her knowledge of nature made the medicines that kept him alive, and I was sure her magick had healing properties as well.
“He is healing well,” Lilith informed me, straightening from checking the bandages over his bare torso.
“Doesn’t feel that well,” Zath said, giving himself a mocking inspection. His skin had lost its glow and tan and was now clammy and pale. His eyes carried dark circles despite the cheerfulness that added a sparkle to his irises.
“I’ll get you some water,” Lilith said.
He said to me, “I know I’m very good looking, but I’m spoken for, so you can stop staring.”
My eyes flashed briefly to Rose, and her cheeks flushed, but her familiar scowl pinned on Zath, who winked at her. My body relaxed to see her spirit somewhat returning.
“You don’t want me to speak for you; it won’t be kind,” she said.
“Come on, Thorns. Let me have a little fantasy in my comeback from death.”
“You cheated,” Rose countered.
“You’re not glad I turned out to be a supernatural being and survived it?”
“Of course I am,” she grumbled, crossing her arms.
“Nephilim,” I said. His attention slipped back to me with a guilty smile.
“Surprise?”
I shook my head, incredulous. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How could I? You were already dealing with being told you weren’t human.”
“I wouldn’t have felt so alone in that.” I didn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation, but I was hurt that he’d kept such a life-changing secret from me and carried it alone.
Being Nephilim would have been a lonely, hard burden to carry.
The celestials had been away for a long time behind the veil, but now that they were out, Zath and his kind would be in hiding like the fae had from the king’s forces not so long ago.
Auster had regarded what Zath was with such disdain it boiled my blood now.
The Nephilim were hunted and either killed nor outcasted.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Truthfully I’ve been in denial about what I am for a long time. I didn’t want to believe I was different.”
“What does it mean to be Nephilim?” Rose asked.
“That I’m even more charming than you knew before.”
“You call yourself charming; I find you irritating.”
Zath chuckled, but it turned to winces of pain as he clutched his abdomen.
Rose huffed, adjusting his pillows to make him sit back. The tender care she displayed even with a sour frown warmed my heart.
“So what is our plan now, star-maiden?” Zath mused.
“Your plan is to rest. You’re not in the clear yet.”
“As I hear; I’ve rested far too much. Of course, that dark bastard still has to best me, doesn’t he?”
The light comment regarding Nyte’s situation didn’t land with the humor intended. Zath’s expression fell.
“Is he—?”
“He’s going to be okay,” I said quickly, more to quell the fast rush of panic in myself than to assure Zath. “But as I would tell him if he awoke right now, you’re not going anywhere until you can muster full combat without a wince.”
Zath groaned as he tried to sit up more; obviously he wouldn’t be lifting a sword anytime soon, never mind swinging it.
“Sounds like a challenge,” he said, voice strained with the pain he was trying to distract us from.
“Stop being difficult,” Rose fussed.
“Why does it feel like our roles have switched?”
Rose’s jaw worked, and I thought in any other circumstance she would abandon him from annoyance, but she didn’t leave. Instead she sat back in her chair, and it was only then I noticed the knitting equipment and a surprisingly neat half scarf.
I didn’t get to question the unlikely hobby when she said, “What is the plan? I heard you’ve been scouting.”
“We’ve been monitoring Auster’s defenses, trying to find any cracks we can exploit to get Eltanin back.”
“Eli?” Zath said, his brow pulled together with a wash of upset. Then it twisted to anger. “That asshole has Eli?”
My sad expression conveyed the confirmation.
That roused Zath again into believing he was exempt from healer’s orders. Throwing back the covers, he managed to swing his legs off the bed, but his brace on the side and pause for breath gave away his lack of strength.
“I just need to stretch and wake up a bit more, but I’m coming with you when you go to get him back.”
His skin was slick with a sheen of sweat, and his breath wasn’t steady. I didn’t argue against his determination, believing it would only make the stubborn ass push himself more and delay his healing.
“Death isn’t easy to come back from,” I said quietly.
He looked up with a wave of understanding.
“It seems we’re forming a band of death-touched.” With that, his eyes flicked up to Rose and a hint of fear creased around his eyes. “Though I very much plan to make sure you never acquire a membership.”
“Worry about yourself,” she said, but I thought her face softened at his care. Something she wasn’t used to receiving.
“She’s right,” I said. “I’m not the scared and vulnerable girl of the manor anymore. I … remember a lot of who I was, what I’m capable of.”
I thought about trying to explain the change in me, but Lightsdeath was still an inconceivable notion that I hadn’t the chance to figure out for myself yet.
“I’m getting that sense,” he said bittersweetly. “Being in your company is strangely intimidating.”
I huffed. “No need to flatter me.”
He smiled, and it dispersed some of the dark clouds that swirled around me.
“It’s in the way you carry yourself now: as the leader you were born to be.
Even the way you talk with confidence. It’s …
I’m so proud of you.” My eyes stung, and I crouched in front of him, taking his hands.
Zath added, “But it doesn’t matter what you are or the power you have; you’re still my friend, and I want to be by your side to help. ”
“Soon,” I promised.
My gratitude for having Zath in my life was immeasurable. He wasn’t a shield to guard me; he was a pillar of strength on and off a battlefield.
But I couldn’t wait for him to heal to make my move toward retrieving Eltanin.
“How is he?” Rose asked quietly. I detected a note of guilt as she inquired about Nyte now when she hadn’t over the weeks. She could hardly tolerate his company when he was conscious.
“As well as can be for now,” I said.
“Zath might not be able to help, but I can. I want to come with you next time you go scouting.”
“I’ll let you know next time we head out,” I said, though it burned in my throat as a lie.
I had been yearning to have both of them fighting alongside me for weeks, but now I would be acting without them. I was done with merely observing Auster taking his fill of my kingdom and basking in the manipulated minds of my people.
Bidding them goodnight, though I didn’t know if that was accurate when the blood moon always dominated the sky, I left and was heading down the stairs when I heard Davina and Nadia. I found them in the main room in conversation with Nadir, their cheeks flushed from the cold trek back.
“The wings are so unfair,” Nadia grumbled upon seeing me, brushing snow off her shoulders.
She glanced to an invention above the blazing fire pit that kept time for us.
Nadir had a flare for unique things, and this used sand like an hourglass, except it spiraled slowly toward hour markers, tracking the whole day.
The winter arrived thick and without mercy even in the daytime, but it was closing in on midnight and the late hours plummeted to lethal temperatures.
“You should get warmed up,” I said to them.
Davina seemed to notice my somberness. She approached, reaching out and squeezing my arms.
“Tomorrow will be a better day,” she said, always so optimistic that her presence along with Lilith’s was often the only breath above water any of us felt.
I plastered on a smile, though it was hardly convincing. Tomorrow … well, not even Davina’s warmth could chase away the foreboding chill creeping through me.
They headed to their rooms for much needed rest and heat, which left me alone with Nadir.
I found their company strangely relaxing yet unnerving.
They reclined in an armchair by the fire, bare feet propped on a wooden kitchen stool.
Their emerald filigree pattered shirt was tucked into black pants, but most of the buttons were undone to expose the dark skin of their chest. They smoked absentmindedly while their fingers idly swirled around a teacup.
Their silent glances to me often made me feel that secrets could never stay buried.
Even those I didn’t know I was harboring.
“Self-sacrifice is in your nature,” they said with a knowing lilt. Their eyes wandered lazily, likely the effects of whatever was in their pipe.
“I think it’s in everyone’s nature for those they love.”
“Not everyone. Selfishness is often a victorious beast.”
I’d had various suspicions about Nadir. Could they foresee things? Was their magick far more than a typical human mage? Did what they smoked in their pipe merely give them a convincing air of wisdom beyond their means?
Regardless, I sat with them. There was something about them that made me desperate for relief even if they could only provide mindless ramblings, which I had to find my own meanings within.