Chapter 11 Astraea #3
My instinct was to take off, but my elbow was caught by a hand before I could take a step. Then I was the one being slammed against the wall, finding pure amused delight spilled over Tarran’s face.
“You’re a better spy than this,” he said playfully.
“How did you know I was here?”
“You know vampire and fae senses are sharper than celestials’. I could scent you before you even slipped in that window.”
“Why are you here?” I snapped, not hiding my accusation.
Tarran shrugged. “I never declared I was only on your side.”
“Then what are you truly hoping for at the end of all this, regardless of who sits on the throne?”
He ignored me to ask, “Are you risking punishment by leaving your rooms just to prove a point?”
“I was hungry. He neglected to remember I need to be fed.”
“He’s terrible at keeping pets.”
I scowled deeply. Tarran chuckled.
“I know just the place. You might want a cloak.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I hissed. “Where is Nightsdeath?”
“Beginning the hunt for his … physical form, I assume.”
My whole body stiffened. “That would be a futile endeavor.”
“He thinks he might be able to sense Rainyte if he gets close enough. Though he’s causing a lot of disturbance in his wake already.”
A sudden terrible realization hit me.
“He needs pain to survive,” I muttered, more to myself. “Maybe he even needs death.”
There was a monster on the loose, and I couldn’t believe Auster and the other High Celestials had become so focused on me that they were letting him terrorize the continent.
“You know he needs to be stopped,” Tarran said carefully, as if I might lash out in defense of Nightsdeath.
I had to admit I was conflicted.
“I need to figure out what his being here means. Nyte still hasn’t awoken or he would have come for me. I can’t do anything to Nightsdeath without risking that it will kill Rainyte too.”
Tarran turned and started walking, hands slipping casually into his pockets. It was either follow him or hope my stealth was enough to get me to the kitchens alone, at least.
Internally cursing, I jogged to catch up, trusting he’d sense guards or the High Celestials and warn me.
“Our sister is in Vesitire,” Tarran said so nonchalantly, but it slammed into me.
I didn’t know what shocked me most: the term our and sister that linked me and Tarran closer than I thought he would be willing to admit right now or the mention of a sister that had my mind rapidly sifting through memories to find a name and a face.
“Laviana,” I said; the face that accompanied her name unfolded clearly in my mind. Two-toned black and white hair, harsh green eyes, and firm but elegantly beautiful features.
She was the daughter of two of my guardians: a shadowless and a celestial.
None of us were siblings by blood, but we had been raised so closely, with all of them having been born before I came along, that we always considered each other family.
“Where?” I asked.
“Around the outskirts, last I heard.”
“Do you know what she’s doing here?”
“Likely still leading the vampire movement for equality.”
More threads of memory started weaving together in my mind.
“If you’re not part of that cause, what are you part of?”
“Who said I wasn’t?”
Tarran would never give me full answers or be straight with exactly what he hoped to achieve.
We reached the kitchens with a few stops and Tarran’s complete guidance using his heightened sense to make sure I wasn’t found before I could at least eat.
I dug into any leftovers I found in various concealed containers or under rags, ending up with a mouth too full of bread, cheese, and meat.
Scanning for water to wash it down, I found Tarran holding a cup out to me with a look between disgust and concern over my ravaging. I took it sheepishly.
I couldn’t decide if Tarran’s kindness, however negligible, would eventually call for a price.
“I want you on my side,” I blurted.
I thought relieved surprise had twitched his brow for a flash. Until his lips firmed and his eyes turned ice cold.
“You killed my Bonded, Astraea. You executed Gresham for killing innocents when your Bonded is no different. How is that just and fair? Your biases make me sick.”
I paled. He was right and I think a part of me always questioned my ruling that day long ago. Until I remembered everything that made the crimes of Gresham unforgivable.
“The death on Nyte’s hands has always been collateral damage. Innocents, yes. But Gresham led a slaughter on a town full of females and young. He targeted them knowing those deaths would hurt the High Celestials and their people the most, and he had no remorse for it.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed, and it pained me as much as him to tear open this wound of the past.
“The act is still the same.”
“The intentions are all the difference.”
I could see the war in his eyes and his pain broke me. I’d seen it before. Tarran had been devastated to learn what his Bonded had done, but I also understood how love blurred morality. Love tried to find reasoning in the cracks of unforgivable sins.
“I’m sorry,” I said. A slipped breath of condolence that couldn’t offer even a stitch to the permanent tear in his soul.
“I know,” he said with no emotion. “Before my parents passed on to their guardian realm, they made all of us swear to keep looking out for you. That’s all I’m doing now: fulfilling an obligation. But you’re making that damned difficult, as always.”
“You and I were close … before what happened with Gresham—”
“Before you executed him.”
I winced but nodded.
“You don’t deserve a thing from me,” he said
“I know.”
My agreement only flared his irritation, him nearly rolling his eyes.
Tarran said, “You need to kill Nightsdeath.”
He made to leave me here with that parting statement.
“I can’t be sure it won’t kill Nyte!” I called after him.
“He’s already as good as dead. Night has fallen in more ways than one. You know what you have to do, Lightsdeath.”