Chapter 13 Astraea #2
My glare heated and became more spiteful as I kept it held on Auster, hearing the sound of chains before they were attached to each of the bonds around my wrists, held by a guard on each side of me like I was a restrained dog.
I thought physical pain would come next, testing my limits before I broke and showed him how I could have killed him and every one of his followers in this castle all along.
Lightsdeath couldn’t be silenced so easily.
While quick and bloody violence would have fulfilled my ultimate goal to kill him, Auster would have won, even in death.
Too much of the world still believed in him and the High Celestial order.
Dismantling their ages-long reputation and rule would take more care.
Auster didn’t use anything physical, but his words were as striking as a fired arrow.
“Your friend was never supposed to die.”
There was only one lost friend he could mean. A beautiful face with the brightest smile, raven hair, and large sapphire blue eyes flooded my mind and thumped an ache in my soul.
“It was you who sent those vampires to kill me at the inn,” I said vacantly.
How did I not piece that together before? It felt like another lifetime—that carefree night of laughter, games, and drinks between two dear friends, which had turned into the worst nightmare of my existence.
“Not to kill you. Capture you. Zadkiel came to me and told me you were found; by the time I’d sent more people for you, we learned you were heading for Vesitire. So I offered a prize that couldn’t be refused to a group of vampires in exchange for bringing you to me alive.”
“You killed Cassia.”
My vision started to glow around the edges and my hands trembled. Auster knew physical pain wouldn’t be enough for me to lose control and show my hand; he slashed at my emotions, which were always my vulnerable spot.
“She was unfortunate collateral damage. Though I learned she had very little time left as it was.”
He brushed off her time as if it was nothing.
As if I wouldn’t have given anything to have been granted that time to say goodbye, to be with her until the very end of her days, before she was taken by a cruel but natural fate.
Instead, she was ripped away from me when I needed her most and when she was close to fulfilling her biggest dream and purpose.
That time was precious, and Auster Nova had orchestrated the robbery of it.
“My hate for you grows more incredible by the day,” I said with chilling calm.
Lightsdeath pushed too violently this time. I let my control slip, feeling the electric surges of liquid starlight filling my veins, ready to unleash on Auster …
A prick in my arm dragged a sharp gasp from me. Whatever was pushed into my body from it smothered the heat in my veins, turning my blood to ice instead. The pain seized me, and my sight fell to find some kind of syringe being drained of a silver liquid.
An image flashed into mind—the time Nyte had crushed one of the pills Goldfell had been supplying me with, which had been starlight matter enchanted to silence my magick all the time I was his pet.
My eyes snapped back to Auster, wide with horror. Though I considered him my enemy right now, I couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that punched through my gut.
“How could you?” I breathed.
Lightsdeath wailed and drifted away from my reach as the starlight matter took effect.
The familiar sensation of the drug crept over me, turning my body heavy and my mind tired.
Nyte had sat with me for weeks to overcome the addiction, and even now I’d never stopped resenting Goldfell for the abuse.
“You left me no choice,” Auster said. Maybe there was pain in his voice for this despicable measure.
“You’re a coward.” I meant to spit those words with venom but I couldn’t.
It wasn’t sleep that coaxed me, it was simply a state of fatigue and vulnerability. I vaguely heard my chains being removed, and then Auster’s warmth touched me.
“To pave a future we must let go of the past,” he said tenderly. Lifting my wrists gently, he even removed the manacles. “I don’t want to keep using the Matter, but for now it is necessary. Nebulora in your system instead would hurt you; this only sedates you enough to make you compliant.”
I nodded, agreeable. This did feel nice. When the heavy metal was free from my wrists I leaned forward, pressing my cheek to the warm chest in front of me. Auster’s hand smoothed over my hair, and his strong arm encircled my waist. The world felt so light and warm.
“Despite all I’ve done, I know you, Astraea. You can’t let go of everything we were to each other. Everything we’ve been through together. Five years with Cassia is nothing to the life bond we have.”
Cassia. My brow furrowed. The delightful warmth around me turned to suffocating heat, and I pushed against Auster’s chest as hard as I could, stumbling back, disorientated from the quick movement.
I blinked hard, willing myself to hold onto my mind as it became cloudy. I threw wrath in my stare.
“I would bargain every memory of you away to have five more days with Cassia. You killed the person who once loved you. I feel nothing for you anymore.”
“You’d be far more tolerable with your memories wiped. Permanently.”
“So would you,” I spat.
We faced off in a battle of heartache and wills. Auster moved so suddenly I gasped, unable to stop him when his hand cupped my nape, forcing our faces inches apart.
“He wanted to kill you once too,” he said, his voice a low murmur.
The beat in my chest skipped.
“Nyte never would have followed through. Not even if I’d chosen you.”
“You can’t know that. What if you could find it in yourself to forgive me like you did him?”
Maybe there was a kernel of me that pitied Auster for his thick delusion.
“You are responsible for the death of Cassia. You almost killed Zathrian. You tore out Nyte’s wings and threatened mine.
You drove my own weapon through my heart with the belief I would never return.
You just drugged me knowing I’ve suffered from substance abuse at the hand of another before.
You are no better than Goldfell and far fucking worse than Nyte could ever be.
I will never forgive you, Auster. You’re staring at your reckoning, pleading to stop my wrath because it’s already tightening around your throat. ”
His jaw worked, eyes flaring wide as if restraining himself from hurting me or himself. I feared for a second he might kiss me.
“I don’t want to keep hurting you,” he said, so quietly, like a slipped confession while he tried to maintain a ruthless front.
The drug made my thoughts swim and tangle. It made my hate and compassion blur, and I couldn’t keep fighting, not with words or magick. But I had one last lick of venom on my tongue.
“Be your best villain, Auster Nova. Because Nyte has always been his, and I will become mine to finish you.”