Chapter 5 Summer Once More
Chapter five
Summer Once More
She didn’t eat that week, no matter how the family who still loved her begged. She didn’t sleep, either, though that was not by choice. The desire to go to the well was the only thing she could feel anymore, that and the cursed cuffs around her ankles.
During the day she stood at the end of the chain, in the sunlight that poured through her window.
When no one was there, she let the light fall across her body, and her newly formed shadow became her companion.
It was full-sized now, and nobody had even noticed because anytime they came to see her she was lying in bed with the curtains drawn.
But when she was alone, she let the darkness show, and it reminded her of Nessa.
She placed the crown of darkness on her hair, and in the image made by her shadow she imagined she was Nessa’s queen.
A queen of the darkness within them both.
A lack of sleep and self-inflicted hunger drove Elana to seeing things.
When she lay in the bed at night, it seemed as though the stars came down to dance with her, tiny pinpricks of light in pale shades of rose and lavender flickering through the corners of her vision.
She lifted her arms, laughing, and tried to touch them, but they always fled before her fingertips could make contact.
She didn’t know if they were real, but they were as beautiful as the stars made of water that graced Nessa’s skin the last night they were together.
When the day of the shadow festival arrived, Elana could barely tell if her hands were attached to her body. She was weak with hunger and hadn’t really felt clean since rolling on the moss of the riverbank with Nessa.
“Please, Elana, won’t it be nice to get out of here for a while? Couldn’t you eat something?” begged Josie as she helped Elana get ready.
“I can’t eat anything. Nothing tastes of shadows.
Nothing tastes of Nessa. And my stomach is full of nothing but want.
Food all tastes like chalk.” She was heartbroken that Nessa had never returned to the house.
She shouldn’t have been surprised; she hadn’t exactly been kind when telling Nessa to go.
But she had wanted Nessa safe, above all else.
“Have there been reports from the priestesses?”
Josie checked the door, and then returned to Elana to answer her question in a rush of whispers. “There’s been no reports of Nessa. No one has seen her. The priestesses have kept a twenty four hour watch on the well and she’s never returned, not since Marcus burned the tent and everything in it.”
Where could she have gone? Elana hoped she was safe. If worse came to worse and tonight she ended up engaged to Alderic, at least she could die knowing she’d done everything she could to keep the woman she loved safe.
The sunset came across the valley slowly, as though the final dying embers clung to the mountaintops in a desperate bid to join the festivities.
Elana lay abed until the darkness was complete, until the sun could no longer betray her newly grown shadow.
She wasn’t sure why she continued to hide it from her family, but something inside of her begged her not to reveal this last secret.
Then, her head swimming, she lurched from bed, letting Josie help dress her.
With trembling limbs she stepped into her most comely gown, chosen by Josie, a pretty pale lilac silk corseted at the waist and embroidered at the hem with lace and flowers.
Josie fingered her hair into a loose plait and helped Elana slide her feet into comfortable slippers.
“I’ll give you a minute,” her sister said when she was done, and she quietly tugged the door closed. Elana sat on the edge of the bed, her muscles quivering with effort, her face crumpled in an attempt not to cry.
She opened the bedside table again, retrieving the crown of shadows. In the past week it was the only thing that had brought her an iota of comfort, and she stroked it softly, trying to find that comfort again before she tucked the crown away for the night.
But then again, why should she? It was a costumed affair after all, the festival. Many people would be wearing such crowns, and with the evening coming on, and though this one was precious, dark and different, how would anyone know that hers was genuine shadow and not a simple fabrication of silk?
She placed it on her hair and tucked it in place with pins, one simple act of defiance that no one would think to take from her.
She was too weak to fight back when at last Marcus tugged her toward town, his axe glinting in its holster at his waist. Some last shred of hope inside of her led her to cling to the idea that once evening well and truly fell and the festivities began in earnest, maybe she could distract herself from Nessa.
She stood a little straighter. Maybe, now that she had chased Nessa away in an effort to keep her safe, she could commit to the life her brother wanted for her. Maybe that was the only way to keep herself safe.
As the family stepped into the village, Elana cleared her throat.
If she was going to commit, she’d need sustenance.
“Maple sugar floss,” she said, her voice rough with how little she’d used it of late except to weep.
She would get some sugar in her system, and try to fill the bottomless well of desire in her with the false promises of the touch of a man.
A relieved sigh hissed out of Mama’s mouth. “You want to eat?”
Not really. “A little,” she hedged. She’d need her energy at least if she were going to keep up this planned ruse.
“Luc,” said Mama, and without a moment’s hesitation he sprinted off in search of maple sugar floss for his sister. He was an angsty teen for certain, but he showed his love when it mattered.
All her family wanted was for her to be happy and well. They just couldn’t see how that would have been possible with Nessa. The only road map to happiness they were familiar with was the one they’d been shown, and anything that deviated from the route was incomprehensible to their minds.
They didn’t know the longing between Elana’s ribs, stitched under her skin, that sent her even in her sleep to Nessa’s well.
Elana set her teeth together, tried not to grind them.
She had to try. With Nessa gone, she had to try and do what was expected of her.
She tamped the desire down as hard as she could until Luc returned with a wand of maple sugar floss.
She inhaled the sugary scent and picked a piece, letting it melt onto her tongue, letting the rush of sweetness revitalize her body just a little.
It was not the taste of shadows that her body craved, but it sent her blood buzzing all the same, and she was grateful for the distraction.
“Thank you,” she whispered to her younger brother.
He nodded once, stoic, and the family carried on. The sugar gave everything a shining halo of glow despite the darkness that had encroached over the land, and when they passed a vendor selling mead Elana jostled her elbow into Josie’s ribs.
“Ow,” grumbled her sister, and then, seeing where Elana was motioning with her head, her eyes grew wide. “You want to have mead?”
Elana nodded. Anything that could help take the edge off the way her body felt would be a boon.
Josie hustled to the vendor and bought two brimming mugs, and Elana swallowed down mouthful after mouthful of the honey-sweet liquid.
Though it was nice, it was still not the taste of shadows she longed for.
It sat heavy in her stomach but made her limbs feel light, and she let a little burp escape through her nose.
Josie belched too, and they looked at each other, sharing a soft giggle. In that moment they felt like sisters again.
Elana let the twins haul her to the stage for the puppet show, but before the actors could begin, a priestess took the stage.
“Welcome,” she cried, “to the festival of shadows!”
The crowd hooted and cheered, clapping and stomping. It was an age old tradition, one of comfort and community, even if they knew the monster was on the loose again.
“It is safe to say,” continued the priestess, “that the shadow monster is well and truly gone from our valley.”
This was met with gasps and scattered clapping, more confusion than celebration. Elana’s heart pounded, the sugar and alcohol doing little to settle the reaction of pure fear and adrenaline coursing through her. What did they do to Nessa?
“We received word that the monster may be back, and when we heard, we acted immediately, setting a twenty four hour watch on the well. In the week that followed, the monster was not sighted once.”
Quiet murmuring carried through the audience. “We already thought it was gone,” shouted a man.
“Wasn’t that what we celebrated earlier this year?”
The murmuring grew louder, but the priestess raised a hand for silence and was granted it.
“What I am trying to tell you is this: we now approach one year since the well was opened anew, and in that time we have only received one complaint of shadow activity, and that complaint could not be verified. People of the valley, rejoice!” She threw up her arms.
When she was not greeted with expected applause, she let her gaze dance over the followers before her.
Beside Elana, Marcus stiffened, his jaw hardening with rage. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but folded his arms over his chest and said nothing.
“Why is the festival happening then, if the monster is gone?” asked one shrewd woman.
“An excellent question!” bellowed the priestess. “Have we yet been able to remove the shadows from any of those still afflicted?”
The townsfolk all looked at one another as if waiting for someone to speak. Elana crouched a little lower, as though getting smaller might hide the fact that she had a new shadow.