Chapter 16
Peter said, “Ellie, this is Carlotta Martinez. I’ve told her and Manny what happened with your mom. They’ve got four daughters. It will be better at their house than with me, I promise.”
She came down the last four steps and faced him, eyes hollow, teeth bared. “You promise?” Her voice rose. “Like you promised to protect me and my mom? To keep us safe?”
On the rage-meter, she’d gone from zero to sixty in a heartbeat. Clearly that coffee had been a bad idea. Peter took a breath, let it out. “You’re right, I did promise. And I failed. I don’t blame you for being angry. I screwed up. I’m really sorry.”
“That won’t bring my mom back.”
“No,” he said. “It won’t. Nothing will. But I’m going to keep digging into your mother’s death. Things might get ugly. That’s why you should stay with Manny and Carlotta. You’ll be safer with them than you’ll be with me.”
“I told you, I’m not going with them. I don’t even know them.”
Peter kept his voice gentle. “Kiddo, you barely know me. We just met yesterday, remember? Look, I get that things are really screwed up right now. But I need to find out why those people went after you and your mom. I can’t do that and protect you at the same time.”
She lifted her chin. “Well, I want to know, too. So I’ll just come with you.”
“Eleanor Grace, you are thirteen years old—”
“Don’t you Eleanor Grace me, meatball. You’re not my dad, and you’re sure as hell not my mom. So you don’t get to tell me what to do.” Her face was red. She thumped her sternum with the flat of her hand. “I’m my own person. I decide. Me. Get it?”
Then she burst into full-blown tears. Shoulders heaving, snot streaming, skinny arms wrapped around her narrow chest.
Carlotta went to her and put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Ellie—”
Ellie knocked her hand away, shrieking, “Don’t you fucking touch me.”
Carlotta jerked back as if she’d stuck her finger into an electric socket. Then Peter was across the room with his long arms around the girl, pulling her close, voice soft and low. “I’ve got you, kiddo. I’ve got you. It’s going to be all right.”
Even though he knew that wouldn’t be true, not at all, not for a long time. And maybe never.
—
After a few moments of hiccupping, Ellie pulled free of Peter, then ran to the bathroom and slammed the door without a backward glance.
“I’m sorry,” Peter said. “She’s upset. She didn’t mean anything by it.”
Carlotta gave him a look. “Of course she did. It’s okay. She’s thirteen. Two different people tried to kill her. Her mother just died. Plus, the emotional roller coaster of puberty. So put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?”
Peter glanced at the bathroom door. “Like shit. I get it. But what’s the right thing to do here? I don’t want to just abandon her.”
“Sending her home with us isn’t abandoning her, Peter.
It’s caring for her. By allowing us to care for her.
” She gave him a sad smile. “And, all due respect, you’re getting your ass handed to you by a thirteen-year-old girl.
She is living inside a hurricane of emotions.
Careening around the city with you, trying to figure out why her mom got killed, that won’t help.
She needs a stable environment. She needs a therapist.”
Peter made a face. “I really screwed this up. I should have let her go with the social worker.”
“No,” Carlotta said. “At the time, you probably did the right thing. The only thing you could do. You thought she might still be in danger. You didn’t trust the police, maybe for good reason. You didn’t think the system would help her. It often doesn’t.”
“Then why do I feel so damn lousy about sending her off with you and Manny?”
“Oh, Peter.” She stepped forward and put her hand on his cheek.
“Ellie’s not the only person who’s been through the wringer.
I know you feel guilty, like you’ve failed both KT and Ellie.
So you’ve doubled down on protecting her.
But this isn’t combat, and she’s not one of your Marines. It’s more complicated than that.”
She went up on her toes and kissed him gently. Then she slung her purse across her shoulder and headed for the door. “We’ll be outside when she’s ready.”
Manny shrugged into his jacket. “She’ll be safe with us, Ashes. I’ll protect her like my own.”
“I appreciate that,” Peter said. “Lewis is coming to watch my back, so you’re off the hook for hazardous duty.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what it was like to have four daughters.” Manny laughed, then gave Peter a powerful hug. “Keep in touch, okay? Whatever you need. And take care of yourself.”
—
After the pickup’s big diesel fired up, the bathroom door opened and Ellie stepped out. Her face looked scrubbed clean, as if she were five years old and had never skinned a knee. “Are they gone?”
“Not exactly,” Peter said. “I’m going to make a deal with you, okay?
You’re going home with Manny and Carlotta.
” She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand and kept talking.
“You will be safe with them. Manny and I were in the war together. He might look like a teddy bear, but he’s a warrior, the best of the best. He’ll protect you with his life.
And Carlotta will find you someone to talk to, someone who can help you. ”
“That’s not a deal.” Her jaw was set. “That’s you telling me what to do.”
“That’s your part of the deal. And it’s non-negotiable because I am a grown-ass man and you’re thirteen years old. But here’s my part of the deal. I will check in with you every day. I will make sure you’re doing okay. And whoever is responsible for the death of your mother, I will find them.”
She frowned. “What if I don’t like Manny and Carlotta?”
“I’ve known them a long time. They’re good people. Better than me, honestly. You’ll like them, I promise.”
She made a face, obviously trying to find a way out of it. “I need more clothes, but I don’t want anyone going through my closet. And I need school stuff, too. I don’t want to get behind.”
Maybe it was a good sign that she was thinking about school.
“I have to make a phone call, so Manny and Carlotta will take you home to get some things. I’ll meet you there.
But after that, you’re going with them, not me.
And listen, they’re taking a real risk to watch out for you, so please try to be nice, okay? ”
She stared at him, her face red. He thought she was going to explode again. Instead she blinked furiously, then abruptly came and wrapped her skinny arms tightly around him. With her voice muffled by his chest, she said, “Okay, meatball. You win.”
He retrieved her bag, walked her out to the truck, then stood watching as they drove away. He knew it was the right thing to do. But that didn’t mean he had to like it.
How was it possible to get so attached, so quickly, to a prickly thirteen-year-old girl?