Chapter Sixteen
The FBI Building
Security’s Space
Five A.M.
After finding out that the woman he loved was never going to talk to him again, or smile at him, Caspian had needed time to just mourn what he’d lost. A part of him hadn’t been shocked, since he’d felt it when he couldn’t reach her, but still…
His heart hurt, and he knew that his life would never be the same again.
He’d fallen in love with Rayna the second he’d met her. There was no doubt that she had been the love of his life.
Before her, he’d never been able to connect with a woman, let alone trust one to all of his pain and secrets. One of the best things about her had been how they’d make love and then lie there talking for hours.
She had been his safe space.
Even though they’d only known each other for weeks, it felt like lifetimes.
Now, it was all gone.
His heart was decimated.
As he lay there on the couch in the renovated security office, Raphael was not far away.
He was on Caspian watch, just in case the man opted to do something bad like eat his gun.
And he wasn’t the only one thinking about it, clearly.
“I’m not going to do anything crazy,” he finally said. “I’m not suicidal.”
Uh-huh.
As a Marine, who knew that soldiers had a very high suicide rate, that wasn’t exactly going to reassure him. People said shit to hide the truth all of the time.
So, it was watch duty for him.
Besides, Raphael didn’t mind babysitting the man. When you had a family, you took care of it, and both the Blackhawks and the Marines who protected them had become very important to him.
They gave him a family of his own.
So, he’d give back.
Watching Elizabeth love each one of them had taught the rough Marines what it meant to be gentle when need be, and stern when there were no other options.
As for his comment, clearly, the man had a death wish.
“Clearly, you are,” he stated. “You shoved a woman, Caspian, and of all the fucking women on the planet to shove around, not once, but twice, you picked Elizabeth to be your whipping boy.”
Yeah, it wasn’t time to be gentle. Someone needed to snap out of it. While Raphael sympathized, Caspian had been with Rayna less than he’d been with his family.
It wasn’t like Elizabeth killed Rayna. They’d all tried to get her into protective custody. The woman’s stubbornness, and her inability to think that maybe, just maybe, she was in danger was what caused this.
Oh, and a homicidal lunatic who was targeting all of them.
“That was quite possibly the shittiest thing I’ve seen you do,” he added.
That hung there.
And he said nothing.
Oh, he knew what he did, and as he’d been lost in that grief, he’d made some bad choices. Putting his hands on ANYONE was not his style.
Yeah, he’d fight, but he’d never be the aggressor.
Ever.
Putting his hands on Elizabeth…a woman who loved him like a child, was douchey.
“It was a mistake.”
Raphael knew that this whole shitmess had no winners—only losers. Devon Slater had made sure of that, and now, the fallout was happening all around them.
“She’s not the one you should be mad at.”
He was aware.
Only, he knew he destroyed what little chance he had at a relationship with Elizabeth from this point out.
That rage dissolved everything he’d had and now, he was empty, broken, and alone.
He wouldn’t be shocked if she told him to pack his shit and leave. Caspian would too, since he’d crossed a very bad line that no man should ever jump.
Deep down, he knew it wasn’t Elizabeth’s fault, and that he’d hurt the messenger.
This all lay at the feet of Devon Slater. Caspian hated that man with every ounce of energy he had in his body, and he wasn’t one to hate anyone.
His father had been brutal and unloving, and he’d never allowed that hate to creep in. His mother never stood up for him, or his brothers, and he never hated her.
But here he was, so filled with hate that it made him do things that he found…distasteful.
Putting his hands on Elizabeth, out of rage...
At some point, he’d have to apologize to her and hope she didn’t make him leave. Now that he’d lost Rayna, all he had left was his job and family.
It broke something in him that it was likely gone, too.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked, all the tears dried up, but the anger still there.
Raphael put down the crossword puzzle.
“Yes.”
Caspian needed to know or he was going to do horrible things to Devon when he walked out of this building to go find him. Because that was the plan.
“Did she suffer?” he asked.
Oh, boy.
Why wasn’t he shocked?
Out of the levels of grief, they’d seen him cry, rage, and now, ask questions—which would take him back to step one if he knew the truth.
Raphael bought time, and this was why they all wanted Elizabeth to lie to the man.
There was no way he could handle the truth. As a soldier who lost lots of people, he knew when someone was a man on the edge.
Caspian was teetering precariously.
“I didn’t see her,” he said, lying. “Elizabeth wouldn’t let anyone see her. She gave her privacy and protected that for Rayna in death.”
His heart hurt, but in order to start healing, and to not do something that made him a monster, he needed to know more.
He needed to know ALL.
The least surprising thing about all of this was that Elizabeth would give Rayna dignity in death. She was very protective of the dead.
“Did you hear anything?” he asked. “Because I know she likely called Chris. If her com was on…”
Raphael had two jobs.
Protect the family and keep Caspian safe. Neither could be done if this man knew the truth. Oh, he saw what was done to Rayna, and it was one of the worst things he’d seen in his whole life. Devon had opened her up and spread her out like some sick display meant to devastate.
How Elizabeth stood over that without vomiting…she had a stronger stomach than he did because he’d puked in the bushes outside of her home.
Raphael had seen combat, and people blown up from IEDs, and none of that compared to what he’d witnessed staring in her bedroom window.
“Nothing was said over the com. She just called Chris to move her. That’s it.
She took care of her from that moment on.
Like I said, she went into the house, and she found her.
When she was carefully placed in the body bag, we moved her here.
Elizabeth stood watch for you over her body, and only she and Ivan carried her out. ”
Again, he wasn’t shocked. Caspian had filled in for Gryphen when he’d been injured and healing. He’d personally seen her stand over bodies and treat them like they mattered.
Now, he felt even worse for shoving her. Later, he’d find her and talk, but for now, he needed to see what that piece of shit did to Rayna.
And then, he’d hunt him down and kill him. If he sexually assaulted his woman, Caspian was going to fuck him with a bazooka.
Trust and believe.
Sitting up, he was strong enough to face the cold, hard reality of what happened to Rayna. He needed to go to the new source, so he could figure out his next step.
“I need to see her.”
Oh, Jesus Christ.
How could that go wrong?
Raphael knew that he’d never forget what he saw, and the last thing this man needed was to be traumatized. That’s exactly what would happen too.
TRAUMA.
So, he tried to talk him out of it.
“No one can authorize that but Chris. She’s with him,” he stated. “I wouldn’t bother him. He’s probably…”
That was all he had to say.
Caspian pushed himself up and knew that he needed to get to Rayna. There was no way he would get past this if he couldn’t see what he’d done to her.
His next steps were based on what was to happen next.
And only that.
Without warning, he was heading out of the security lounge with only one mission in mind.
This was going to be bad because if he’d shoved Elizabeth in anger, he’d do the same to Chris.
Or Saint.
While Elizabeth would tolerate his explosion at her, she would NOT at Chris.
She’d lose her shit.
Pulling out his phone, he privately texted Saint to give him the heads-up as to the hurricane moving toward him. He couldn’t use his vest in fear that it would alert Caspian as to what was coming.
Or worse, Elizabeth.
If Caspian thought he could get rough with the ME, he’d certainly lose his job.
‘He’s on the move and heading to you. Warn Chris that Caspian is about to show up, and he’s not in a good place. It might get…handsy.’
Then, he did what he could and made chase.
Raphael hoped he didn’t have to beat the hell out of Caspian, but for his family, and his husband…
He might not have a choice.
Meanwhile…
Caspian was a man on a mission.
Heading down to the morgue, he made it there in less than three minutes. At the door, he began banging with his fists on the tempered glass, demanding access to the morgue.
It was locked down tighter than a virgin on her wedding night, and with good reason. No one wanted Caspian seeing what was done to Rayna.
Saint had told him that Chris worked tirelessly to put her back together again, but he wasn’t a miracle worker.
He was an ME.
All the plastic surgeons, and all the makeup artists in the world couldn’t hide what had been done to her. Not in the few hours that had passed.
“Jesus,” Raphael said. “Cas, calm down. You’re just trying to get your ass fired,” he said, as other Feds hauled ass away from the rogue Archangel.
Oh, he heard his friend, but Caspian couldn’t not do this.
What he needed was to see his woman.
He’d get her payback, and then, he’d make sure that he never forgot about the woman he loved. He would carry her with him in his heart forever.
At that moment, Caspian swore he’d never love again, and he’d never let anyone in again because they would likely die too.
Love never ended well.
This was the case in point.
He’d believed he’d be able to have a life, and it all came crashing down around him. Well, he’d never make that mistake again.
He began kicking the door, and Raphael was just about to put the man into a submission hold and knock his ass out when the door opened, unlocked from inside.
Immediately, Caspian rushed in. There, he came face-to-face with Chris.