Chapter 7 #2
I watch him with my stomach churning as he works on the computer, trying to undo the damage he unleashed on my life.
“Anything?” I ask as I lock the door and peek out the side window.
He’s biting his lip, shaking his head, typing furiously.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says, looking a little shaky himself. “I’ll have our IT guys work on it. Meanwhile, you go to the lab and work on that polymer thing.”
“What about the women hunting me down?” I ask, throwing my arms in the air. “I feel like a baby antelope surrounded by hungry lions on the Serengeti.”
“Maybe talk to some of them if they’re cute?”
I drop my arms, staring at him like he’s lost his mind.
“Okay, okay,” he says, putting his hand up. “Just stay in your lab. We can have Jeff escort you to a taxi after work. No one else will bother you.”
“That’s not good enough,” I snap. “These women think we’re dating. Some think we’re engaged. That woman downstairs brought her parents!”
His eyebrow raises. “She brought her parents? Seriously?”
“Yes!”
“Okay,” he says, motioning for me to sit down at his desk. “I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll post on the company’s social profiles that you just got married to a made-up woman… let’s say Scarlett Montgomery.”
“What will that accomplish?”
“Most of the women will look you up, see that you’re married, and immediately lose interest.”
“Won’t they think I’m a creep for soliciting FirstSpark matches while married?”
He tilts his head as he looks at me. “Those women you keep running into. Do they think you’re a creep now?”
“Most definitely.”
“Then, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
I contemplate the idea while Ryan composes the announcement. I guess it can work. The idea doesn’t seem half bad.
When erratic, emotional women come up to me, I’ll put my hand up and say, ‘No, thank you. I am married with a wife.’
They’ll be forced to leave after that.
It’s actually pretty genius.
“Here,” he says, turning the monitor around. “We’re happy to announce that Temporary Ink founder Owen Lavoie is now married to a beautiful new bride, Scarlett Montgomery.”
“Yes,” I say, nodding as I read it again. “Very good. Send it.”
He takes a deep breath and posts it on all of the company’s social media accounts. It spreads out across the internet where it will act as a shield against unwanted advances from all of these exhausting women.
I instantly feel better.
“Okay?” he asks, swallowing hard. “I’ll keep your phone and have the IT department remove the program, and you can go work in your lab uninterrupted.”
“Thank you,” I say, taking a breath of relief. “I’m glad it worked out.”
The worst of it is over.
I spend the rest of the morning and the early afternoon working obsessively on that polymer compound, not thinking once of the women lingering around the city waiting for me or of that vile chatbot poisoning my phone.
In fact, my day is quite pleasant, working on a challenging chemistry problem in my beloved lab.
Well, it is until my older brother Jason comes into my lab, grunting as he pushes the heavy desk I propped up against the door.
“Hey, Owen. Why does it say that you’re married on the company’s social media accounts?”
I give him a shortened version of the day’s events and Ryan’s genius idea to announce that I’m married.
“Well, that’s just great,” he says with a facial expression that conveys the opposite, that everything is in fact, not great.
“Our financier, Edward Baines, saw the post and is insisting that you bring your new wife to Muskoka with you this weekend.”
My mouth drops.
“We’ll just tell him the truth,” I say, my muscles twitching with apprehension. “That it was a lie to fool all of these oversexed women.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead.
“We can’t do that,” he says in a tight voice. “Because Edward Baines is a high-profile figure and will not react well to you and Ryan catfishing a gazillion women.”
“This was not my idea. This is all on Ryan. I’m just an innocent bystander.”
“You didn’t post that message with Ryan?”
I keep my mouth shut and decide to invoke the fifth so as not to further incriminate myself.
“Exactly,” he says with a sigh. “Not to mention the liability issues we’re facing here.
There will probably be lawsuits. If Edward finds out about this, he’s going to walk away and we’ll be years behind on our plan.
We can’t let that happen. Our first shop opens in a few weeks and we need to ride that momentum.
We were planning on announcing more stores at the grand opening. ”
I see the disappointment written all over him—hunched shoulders, lips pressed tight into a straight line, hands that hang loose—all classic signs of discouragement.
“What can we do? Maybe my imaginary wife can be sick?”
He huffs out a breath. “That may work for this weekend, but he’s going to find out eventually. We need a longer-term plan. At least until we get the investment locked down and then you can say you got divorced or something.”
“What kind of plan?” If he asks me to marry the next Scarlett Montgomery I come across, I’ll refuse.
“Do you feel like asking one of those ladies that keep harassing you to pretend to be your wife in Muskoka this weekend?”
I huff out a breath as I wander over to the couch and collapse onto it.
“No,” I say, staring at nothing. “But I might have someone who can help.”