Chapter Twenty
S amuel needed to calm down.
He needed to breathe, not sweat through his palms all over his jeans. And he wasn’t sure what was going to happen.
His apartment was clean, he was ready to go and he had the birthday present ready and waiting.
He couldn’t concentrate on the list of work he had to do. So he checked something off the list that was pending; sent the email to the congregation in Virginia, declining the opportunity to write the Sefer Torah due to other pending commitments, but that he’d love to be considered for future work.
And if that closed a door for him, he was okay with it.
Because he was happy with what he did—mezuzahs, megillahs, ketubahs and the occasional poster and the possibility of working with other creatives even if Liam’s offer didn’t officially come in.
Over the past few weeks, he’d collaborated with a bunch of people and done some fun things. Seen his lettering on large signs hung from buildings, on hockey masks and met some fascinating people.
And he’d been able to share all of these things with Leah.
Something he never thought he’d be able to do.
And yet there he was, out of his mind and thrilled. Even more so when Leah arrived at his apartment.
And she did. Jeans that fit her curves, a top that matched her eyes and a pair of sneakers that sparkled and matched her shirt.
He was more than just thrilled; he was mesmerized. “Hi,” he managed. “You look gorgeous.”
“Hi, yourself,” she said as she came in, oddly awkward, oddly adorable. He hadn’t seen this Leah in a long time and he wondered what it meant.
“Do you want to come in?” he asked, as if it was an option. It was barely an option but it broke the ice, gave them space.
She nodded. “Thank you,” she said. And then shook her head. “This is awkward, isn’t it?”
He laughed. “Yeah. It kinda is. But we’ve been through awkward before.”
She nodded, and this time she didn’t bristle at the merest mention of their past.
What did that mean?
As the silence between them stretched, he realized he was going to have to speak, or nobody was.
Which was different.
“What’s going on?”
She shrugged, and he wasn’t sure what territory they’d entered, because they clearly had embarked on some new phase of their interactions. Because she hadn’t taken steps to hide her emotions yet like she usually did when she seemed remotely vulnerable.
He didn’t know what to say either; nothing that came to mind could fall anything other than flat.
“Thinking about a bunch of things. You know?”
He nodded. He did, in fact, know about what a bunch of things rolling around in his mind actually meant. Especially since he’d taken care of one earlier in the day. But she didn’t need to know that. Not yet. “I do know.” He paused. “Do you want a drink?
“How much time do we have before we go?”
He checked his watch. “Not long,” he said.
She looked down, looked anywhere but at him. Still letting her emotions and her vulnerability show.
“Do we have time to talk?”
He swallowed. “We don’t have much time. But of course. About?”
“Can we talk about amendments or extensions or…”
She’d fought against extensions. Now she was asking about it? Victory. Vulnerability.
His heart pounded “Or?”
The moment extended, as if they were on a precipice, about to go somewhere new and better.
But the tension. The silence.
And then Leah swallowed. “High school.”
It was a wonder he could stand; the words were soft, yet unmistakable.
He heard her. She’d said it.
She wanted to…
Talk about the past, the one thing she’d always said she couldn’t do.
And yet.
And yet he had to go. To Liam’s party, to the celebration of the potential offer being extended. To celebrate his friend’s birthday.
And as Liam had put it: family.
But the alarm he’d painstakingly set so that they wouldn’t be late? That’s when it went off.
Of course it did.
“Table the discussion?”
She nodded. “After the party? Tonight? You and me? We talk?”
He smiled. “I’d like that.”
The smile on her face was open, clear and beautiful. Making him feel as if on a Thursday night in Queens, they’d started anew.
So he took her hand and walked out of his apartment and into the future.
*
Leah’s heart was pounding as she walked with Samuel, hand in hand from the subway to the location of the party.
The rest of the week had been horrible; playing phone tag with the Empires about this contract provision and actually negotiating the contract that would be Carly’s first with them was, to put it simply, a nightmare.
Phone tag, email tag, conversations.
There was so much to do, so much to unravel, and if she didn’t love her job, it would be horrible. But Carly would be a trailblazer, and this contract had to be special.
But she still wanted this precious time with him; she’d carved it out of her schedule and told everybody she’d been speaking to that they shouldn’t call unless it was an emergency.
Not just because she’d committed to this event contractually, but because she wanted to spend time with Samuel. To have the conversation she’d been practicing.
About high school.
About…chances and wanting more and just being together.
And all the worries about whether it was the right decision or not evaporated as she arrived at his apartment. The strong smell of ink enveloped her and instead of making her feel anxious, it made her feel at home.
And brought her right into the chocolate pools of his eyes.
She’d decided; she wanted to fix the past, and if she could do that, she could grab for a future.
With him.
And yet as she stood there, holding his hand, all she could think of was how similar the stairs looked to the stairs that led up to Gabriel Bruckner’s townhouse. The parallels between that night and this one were smacking her in the face. Hard.
The beginning and the next chapter, both starting in work parties.
“Is it me,” she said, “or are you staring at the stairs too?”
“It’s not you,” he said. “And I am. It’s funny, you know? I’ve been here before and yet I didn’t notice the stairs before.”
“Really?”
They were…rather large and would be out of place in any other type of residence here. But they fit.”
Still noticeable.
“I notice them,” she said, trying to pull her thoughts together, “because here I am, standing next to you, about to go up similar stairs into another party. So much has changed since then.”
“You barely walked into my apartment the last time,” he said. “We met in my brother’s office space.”
Which was true, but Samuel’s delivery, in those gorgeous jeans and a shirt that showed off his forearms, made her want to laugh her butt off. “Yeah,” she said. “Times change, people change.”
She laughed, but a quiet laugh, one that made him smile.
She could get lost in that smile for hours, if not days.
Years if she was lucky…
But she didn’t want to get ahead of herself.
She needed to get through tonight without any emergencies first.
“They do.” he said. And then he looked at her, not just a normal Samuel smiling look, but something else.
Something deeper.
She couldn’t look away if she wanted to.
“You ready?” he asked.
His voice popped her bubble, reminding her that this was an official appearance, a birthday party. He needed to impress people. Which meant she had to pull herself back from the pink fluffy clouds of emotion that were threatening to drown her.
“Yes,” she said. “I’m ready. You?”
He nodded. “I am.”
And knowing she couldn’t do anything else, or say anything else, she trusted him to lead her upstairs and into a townhouse full of people he knew, her fingers brushing his with every step.
*
Samuel could not believe himself or his circumstances.
There he was, standing at the top of Liam’s stairs, on a beautiful summer night in Queens, with Leah.
And they were about to go into the townhouse to celebrate Oliver’s birthday.
Which if he’d been asked three years ago what the most significant part of the night, having decided that Leah was no longer someone who could be in his life, he’d answer the fact he’d be going to Oliver Goldsmith’s birthday party.
But now, not only was he going to celebrate his friend and collaborator Oliver’s birthday, he was taking Leah.
Life took him in interesting directions, in mysterious ways and paths he’d never understand. But here he was.
Here they were. “Here we go,” he said when he dropped her fingers to knock on the door.
“Here we go,” she said, as she took his hand back, the warmth of her hand welcoming on a night like this, as the scraping metal and the rattling chain followed by the creaking noise heralded the open door.
This was it.
Because the door revealed…Liam… Grinning like a fool. “Mr. Levine, welcome, welcome. Come in, come in,” Liam said, making Samuel grin.
“Thank you for having us.”
“Not a problem,” he said. “You’re family after all.”
Which made Samuel feel warm inside, especially knowing that Leah was standing next to him.
“You too,” Liam said, having turned toward Leah. “Glad we get to really chat in a comfy place like this one.”
“I’m glad I was able to make it,” she said, making Samuel smile.
“Good, good,” Liam continued, still in host mode as he met Samuel’s eyes. Yep. His mentor was in his element. “Anyway, not a big gathering tonight, unlike what we’d planned. But that’s okay. A handful of artists and a good game of Pictionary with the non-dominant hand.”
Leah laughed, and that laugh made Samuel feel on top of the world. “Pictionary?”
Liam turned to Leah, and Samuel wondered what he was going to say; the games were legendary and he was actually really excited that she was going to play with him for the first time.
“Yep. Knock-down drag-out games of competitive drawing, so wild that we had to institute the non-dominant-hand rule,” Liam said. “So we continue, less alcohol, more fun. More drawing. More friends. More family.”
“Looking forward to it,” she said.
“And of course, I hope you’re hungry,” Liam continued. “Because you’re not coming to my house without being fed. My family would never forgive me, let alone what the birthday boy would do.”
Leah nodded. “I’m hungry.”
“Good.”
And as they headed inside, Samuel took her hand again.
“This is going to be nice,” she said, and in her tone, he heard so much. It wasn’t just nice, it was going to be fun and the beginning of their next chapter in ways that he hadn’t been ready to contemplate before.