CHAPTER THIRTY
S o, I decided to date online…
by: Sofia Daria
So, I decided to date online… and he turned out to be married.
There’s not too much to tell this week, but I will debrief you on the latest events of my life in online dating.
So as you know, I left you with the thoughts of, do I tell Mystery Man that I write these articles or not? And, well, I decided to tell him. I didn’t think much of his answers at the time, but now things are making a bit more sense.
So, I met Mystery Man in the park, the guy from the catfishing date. Things were going great. They were progressing, I think. We went out for maybe only two weeks, but it actually felt longer. Does that ever happen to you? Where you just put everything into it and spend lots of time together, and suddenly it feels like you have known each other for months, but you have to remind yourself to come back down to earth because it’s only been days? I felt that, in some ways, with him.
We hung out a lot, and I got to know him, but I realize now that I only got to know the sides of him he let me see. There was a whole other part of him I knew nothing about, like the fact that he was married and had a child! A Child! A wife!
Parts of me still can’t quite believe that someone would do this.
How does one cuddle, kiss, and confide in someone when they have someone waiting at home for them?
I dislike very much the fact that I became the other woman in someone’s life without knowing. I wouldn’t have chosen this for myself.
Bottom line, it’s over, and I guess I’m back to swiping. I may just need to mend my heart a little from the deceit first, but I know I will come out stronger in the end.
* * *
I call Miriam and tell her what’s happened. I’m not feeling up to dating online anymore, but she insists I go on one more date and that I find one more guy. So here I am lying in bed, days after the sidewalk reveal in front of Plants, Pottery & Books, swiping left and right.
I haven’t been on the App in a few weeks since pursuing Cole, so there are a few new men on here, but with every picture I look at, I’m wondering, are you a cheater? Are you a cheater? Are you a cheater? It’s not going well.
I roll onto my back and stare at my ceiling. Bob decides that now is a great time to settle down on my stomach, focusing mostly on my spleen. His face is close to mine, and he’s just staring at me. “I know what you’re thinking, Bob.”
I feel the judgment in his eyes, but I’m pretty sure he’s probably only thinking about the fact that I have not given him a treat yet today.
I hear a ping, and I lift my arm in the air above me. I’m careful not to drop my phone. I’ve learned my lesson from the time before when my phone fell smack on my face.
I see I have one new message on the App. I sigh, not really wanting to look at it, but maybe I should just get on with the date and let this cycle of my life come to an end.
I feel blah. I haven’t allowed myself to think of Ben in any other way than still a friend. I have to finish what I started, and my commitment to Miriam. Plus, if I am being honest with myself, I don’t deserve Ben. I haven’t been there for him with Mel. I brushed him off so quickly, and I put work first. I messed everything up, and I think that for right now, the best thing to do is to let Ben live his life, and hopefully he meets someone great. Because he’s great. Despite feeling sad, Cole’s impact is still affecting me, and I need time to get my head in order.
I open the message. My heart’s just not in it, but I’m going to suck it up, and get the job done.
Friendly001 (Henry): Hi Booklover. Read any good books lately?
Booklover (Sofia): Good morning Henry, I do have a romance on the go right now, how about you? Do you read?
I look through his profile quickly and decide, I will talk to him and see how things go. I don’t see any red flags, but then again, I guess I can be pretty naive at times.
Friendly001 (Henry): I actually just finished a good mystery. Do you work weekends?
Booklover (Sofia): I do, yes. Not every weekend, but I go in this morning. What do you do for work?
I’m not ready to tell him where I work just yet. Way too soon. I think I’m getting better at evading questions. Is that a good thing? I’m not so sure. Maybe in this circumstance only?
Friendly001 (Henry): I actually own my own company, I build and install fences. I try and take weekends off and make it a Monday-to Friday-job, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
Booklover (Sofia): Oh, that’s pretty cool.
Friendly001 (Henry): I took some construction classes, and just sort of really liked building things with my hands. It feels great when you can take a step back when the project is done and admire your work. It’s a great feeling.
Booklover (Sofia): Yeah, I bet, that would be a great feeling.
Bob adjusts himself from my spleen, moving down to my thighs. I shake my legs, trying to make him fall off, but he’s committed to my left leg. I spend the next ten minutes talking to Henry until I realize I’m going to be running late and I have to shower. I tell him I’ll talk to him later if he wants, and I log off.
I swipe at my phone, opening a music App. Standing, I allow myself to move to the rhythm.
I turn on the shower while yelling out the words to the song, letting all the frustration from my time with Cole out in an unpleasant-sounding tune, but I don’t care.
* * *
I look out at the small crowd filling up the bookstore. It’s a pretty small space, but we’ve managed to set up a little table to have a local author do a book signing. Ben took out the small round tables we had here to create more room.
I’m watching from behind the counter as Avery meets and greets her book fans. There are piles of her books everywhere, tastefully placed. I absolutely love prepping for book signings. I think I get just as excited as the authors do themselves. I read her book last month when she approached me about taking in some copies to sell. A sweet little contemporary romance, a friends-to-lover, fake-marriage read, and I loved it.
I pick up one of the bookmarks she had made for the event, and I let my fingers run along the edges. It’s a bookmark that’s been shaped into a couple that is embracing, depicting her two main characters. It’s cute, and I’m here for it.
I smile at a woman who picks one up and then grabs a water bottle. We have a few little refreshments and water displayed on the counter, as well as a few other things from the novel. The tiny little succulent that Boe gave Mary in the first chapter and some little stickers with quotes from the book.
I see Emily walk through the door and wave. We’re always two for these events, in case sales get busy.
“Looks like you have things under control here,” she says, dumping her bag on the extra stool. “What a great turnout!”
We both watch as a teen she’s been talking to lifts her camera to take a selfie with Avery. Avery is holding up her book and looks so genuinely happy.
I want to write my book, I think to myself. I sit back and let my thoughts drift back to my mom and dad’s relationship. One I always hoped to have for myself. One that would inspire me to write a novel worthy romance. I see Ben poke his head into the doorway, giving me a thumbs up while raising his eyebrows as if asking if everything is okay.
I smile and mimic his thumbs up, letting him know that we’re good. He nods, and I’m grateful for his check-ins. I can feel some of the tension that was building between us slowly dissipating, and we can finally be ourselves again.
When I came in this morning, and he was helping me with the set-up, I told him that Miriam wanted me to go on one more date, and Ben was supportive. I think we’re just going to accept that we are friends, and that’s all we will ever be. It’s better that way for both of us. I think part of me is trying to convince myself of that, but he hasn’t said anything further to lead me to believe that he doesn’t accept this.
I’m still messed up a bit from Cole. I’ve decided that I will have my last date with Henry, because why not? He seems nice, and I guess you never know, but a part of me does feel bad, like I’m using him for work. I think back to Alex and how that date has led me to such a great new friend. My friends welcomed him into their lives as well, and it’s like he’s always been a part of us. Ben likes him too. I think they actually got together one night to play video games.
I’m grateful I met him. And he seems to be just as appreciative. Plus, I think he and Briar have a little spark between them that they’re not quite ready to explore, but you never know. Only time will tell.
“Excuse me, miss, but do you have any Grey Poupon?”
I look up at the sound of her voice and laugh. “Oh, my God, Lucy, you have got to let that go. No one knows who Wayne’s World is.” My head tilts back as I laugh. Last year, Lucy and I dressed up as Wayne and Garth for a 90s party we were invited to. Briar, Lucy, and I made a night out of it and watched Wayne’s World, Pretty Woman , and 10 Things I Hate About You . Briar dressed up as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman after she had her makeover.
“How’s the book signing going?” she asks.
“It’s going great, as you can see. Have a bookmark.” I pass her the one I’ve been holding on to. Lucy makes her way behind the counter and gives me a hug.
“I’m sorry about Cole,” she says, signs of sympathy displaying on her forehead.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m just glad I found out now and not after a few months.” I shrug. She takes Emily’s bag off the second stool and props herself up on it. “Thanks for coming,” I say.
“Hey, I may not read, but I will always support my BFF in her endeavors.” She gives my knee a squeeze. She tells me about the big project she has been working on and how one of the guys on the team has been driving her mad with his condescending tone. I know Lucy is strong and won’t take crap from anyone, but I hate that she is going through that.
“It’ll all be worth it in the end when I get my promotion,” she says.
Lucy hangs out a little longer until Emily makes her way back. The store is pretty busy now, so we hug, and I tell her I will call her later. I grab a pile of books from a box on the floor, and I bring them over to Avery, setting them down beside her since I see she is running low.
“You’re doing great,” I say, giving her an encouraging smile.
“It’s all been feeling so surreal, to be honest.”
“Enjoy it,” I say, and I mean it. I stand next to her and talk to a few customers, and the rest of the day passes in a blur of pure joy.