Chapter 18
A New Leaf
Olli
Iwas a bastard. Sunday, I woke up in a sour mood to a text from Kodi counting down to her wellness visit.
Between the whole jersey roller coaster to confessing I wanted to flirt with her to her damn near admitting she’d quit the second she could get that social media job, I just didn’t have it in me to be civil.
So instead I gave her a long list of shit to get done this week. Not enough that she wouldn’t get her thirty minute social media session before every practice or lose sleep, but enough that I would take up all her mental energy.
I was being a dick. I knew that. But I couldn’t stop myself. She was already planning on leaving me, I needed to do something to make her … do something.
That was probably the most embarrassing part. I didn’t really know what I wanted. I had too many feelings for Kodi and they didn’t necessarily connect together.
I wanted to be friends again with the girl from my childhood.
I wanted to fuck the woman who rolled her eyes at me so hard that they rolled for another reason.
I wanted to hug the woman scared of losing her job and reassure her that would never fucking happen.
I wanted to play soccer with the girl who was so affected by a player, she bought an extra jersey to grow into.
And I didn’t deserve any of that.
So after almost a week of cooling off and getting through our social media sessions with as little awkwardness as possible, I resolved to do … better. Stop knee-jerk reacting when things didn’t go my way because Kodi had no idea who I was.
That resolve lasted roughly twenty minutes after I arrived at the beach where the charity game was set up.
“Oh, hot damn,” Sosa said with a whistle.
“Don’t curse around the children, they’ll be here any minute,” Christenson chastised.
“Yeah, sure. But look. That’s gonna cause problems.” Sosa pointed over my shoulder, but I pointedly ignored him and focused on memorizing the roster of kids on my team.
Teams were made up of a mix of professional players and kids, most of us playing our regular positions.
The first year I did something similar to this, it was difficult to know when to go easy on the kids and when to give them a challenge so they could grow.
I ended up adopting an ex-teammate’s play style: if they’re trying their hardest, cut ’em some slack, if they’re not, force them to try.
“Did he see Kodi yet?” Brooker asked as he jogged over to us. “I don’t wanna miss his conniption.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, finally looking up at him, fighting the urge to check over my shoulder. If I was going to be ‘better,’ I needed to stop rising to Brooker’s bait. Kodi said she doesn’t date players, so he wasn’t actually a problem, just annoying.
“You’re being immature,” Christenson told Brooker, pinching his side. “She’s far from the only woman in a swimsuit and shorts here. It’s summer, we’re at the beach. Don’t be a pig.”
“I’m not being a pig. I don’t care that she looks hot for, like, me liking hot chicks. I care about what it’s gonna do to Kean.”
“It won’t do anything to me,” I grumbled, even as my shoulders stiffened. I’d seen her in athleisure wear that revealed just as much skin as a swimsuit. It was no different.
“Uh-huh. Then why aren’t you looking over at her?”
“Because there’s no reason to.”
“Christenson, is there a rule about lying around kids?” Sosa asked.
“Well, it’s normally frowned upon. But I don’t think this counts.”
“Fine. I’ll take matters into my own hands,” Brooker grumbled before his hand shot in the air, waving wildly. “Hey, Kodi!”
“Goddamn it.” I reached out to smack at Brooker’s arm and he grinned at me like the fucking Cheshire Cat.
“If you avoid looking at her now, you risk pissing her off more than you already have.”
“Already have? What’re you —”
“Hey, everybody, excited for the game?” Kodi said as she stepped into our little circle, taking up the spot right next to me. I didn’t turn to look, but I could feel waves of tension emanating from her. Brooker was right, I’d pissed her off somehow.
“Yeah, it should be fun,” Sosa said, picking up a conversation with Kodi that I didn’t listen to. I was too preoccupied by her presence and the temptation to look at her. Brooker was probably just exaggerating. She wouldn’t wear anything that wild to a kids charity event. Right?
It took two heartbeats before I broke, Brooker chuckling at me as I looked over at Kodi.
I’d been right. She wasn’t in anything scandalous.
She wore a rectangular sports bra, or maybe a swim top, I’m not sure I know the difference, with little ruffles on the straps, a light pink that looked a little off next to a sunburn that stretched over her shoulders.
Her shorts were a matching shade, with a thin, see-through fabric/skirt overlay thing.
No one would bat an eye at what she was wearing. Not unless they had a huge fucking crush on her and had trouble concentrating whenever she wears something new.
God, I was fucking pathetic.
“Kean!” Kodi said my name sharply, clearly irritated with me, like maybe she’d been calling my name for a bit.
“Sorry. What is it?”
“Can I see the game schedule?” she asked, nodding to the papers in my hand. I nodded and handed them over.
“Oh, you are so fucked,” Brooker said with a chuckle. “When are we playing against each other? 'Cause I’m gonna mop the floor with your ass.”
“We’re on the same team, idiot,” I grumbled and Brooker’s face dropped.
“Fuck.”
“What did I say about your language,” Christenson said, looking over his shoulder at the parking lot, where a sea of minivans were unloading.
“All right, Kean, Brooker, we’re on field three. Let’s go meet up with the volunteer ref and coach,” Kodi said, snapping the packet closed and taking off without looking to see if we were following her.
“I told you she was pissed,” Brooker whispered as we both jogged to catch up. “What’ve you been having her do all week to stress her out like this? Did you pull some guilt trip over her not remembering you?”
“No, I’ve just … had her do basic PA shit.”
“The other day she came to the stadium with like a dozen shoes.”
“I wanted to try out some different cleats and I didn’t have time to go to the store.”
“Sure. And that had to be done this week while she was trying to push this event?”
I looked down at my shoes and didn’t respond.
“And you might not know this, but she’s sent out emails past nine p.m. every day this week.”
I was fully aware of that. She CCs me on every email she sends on my behalf, even if it’s just a reply to say thank you to somebody. So yeah, I’ve gotten notifications past midnight and took comfort in the fact that she was thinking of me, too.
“She sets her own hours. If she wants to work that late, that’s none of my business.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
Yeah, but I wasn’t about to admit that to Brooker of all people. Maybe Christenson or Carter, but certainly not Brooker.
“Just focus on teaching the kids how to pass and score, all right?” I said, shoving him.
“Sure, so long as you don’t give the other team easy goals because you're ogling Kodi.”
“I’m not gonna do that.”
“Oh, really? So what’s your plan then? Are you gonna avoid looking at her all day?”
“Maybe.”
“What’re you guys doing?” Kodi shouted, stomping back over to us and grabbing my arm. Her hand on my bare bicep made every cell in my body jolt to attention. “You should be on the field before the kids to set a good example.”
She dragged me towards the field, completely unaware of how her touch made me feel.
“Dude, you’re so fucking screwed,” Brooker whispered.
“Do you guys have another bet going?” Kodi asked, turning to narrow her eyes at Brooker.
“I’m innocent,” he said, holding up his hands.
“I don’t believe that for one second,” she said, pointing at him. “Leave Kean alone today. He becomes a bigger asshole when you pick on him.”
“Language,” I muttered on Christenson’s behalf.
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Kean pouts when you bully him. So play nice.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Brooker said with a mock salute. “I’ll go check in with the coach. Y’all catch up.”
“Brooker,” I shouted after him, but the asshole full out sprinted away.
“So for this game, we’ve got permission for pictures from all the kids on your team, but I’m going to try and get shots specifically of you and the back of the kids for your profile.
” Kodi kept her eyes down at her phone, which had a list pulled up titled ‘Tell Kean.’ “So when you see me with my phone out on the sidelines, try to keep your resting bi— try to smile a little.”
Her voice was short — short and jagged, like she was poking me with a piece of driftwood.
“Are you okay?” I asked, even though it was probably the worst thing to say seeing as I was the cause of all of her problems. Her eyes snapped up to mine with laser-like heat that I knee-jerk said, “Sorry.”
“It’s all right. I’m just a little tired, but it’ll be worth it if we sell as many tickets as I think we will.”
“I won’t ask you to do as much next week.”
“Yeah, right,” she huffed. “Next weekend is an away game, so I doubt you’ll need less done. But speaking of that, you need to decide if you want me to come along or not. I can order almost anything you need remotely, but —”
“I’d like you to come,” I said before I could think better of it. She looked back at me with a furrowed brow and I backpedaled. “If you want to.”
She took a deep breath before sighing. “Right. I’ll get all of that settled tonight.”
“You really don’t have —”
“It’s fine. I’ve actually always wanted to go to Nashville, just never had a good reason to. I just need to rethink some plans for next week and see if a friend can watch my cat.”
“You don’t —”
“Kean, just let me do my job. I’ve gotten everything you wanted done and I think we both know it was more than you would’ve asked for if I hadn’t brought up the other job.”