Chapter 3
Felicity had had the perfect opportunity to walk away.
When Bex told her that she and Adam were getting married, Felicity would have been entirely and legitimately entitled to kick them both out of her life forever.
Hell, she probably could have sold the story to a dodgy women’s magazine.
At the very least, she probably should have slashed holes in their clothes or their tyres or put out an advert in the local paper or something else vengeful, and at the same time suitably petty, to make herself feel better.
Instead, she had found a way to, while not exactly forgive them, at least come to an acceptance of the situation.
That way’s name was James.
He’d been furious at first, of course, when Felicity told him how her friends had betrayed her.
Hopping mad, in fact. Gradually, though, after many a late-night chat over tea and biscuits, they’d concluded that Felicity would regret it if she ended the friendship with Bex forever.
Bex and Sophie were her oldest friends, after all, and, aside from her boss, Andrea, and now James of course, really her only ones.
Felicity had no family to speak of, her only brother being rather a difficult case to say the least, and Bex and Sophie had been at her side through the absolute worst times in her life.
Her adult life, at least. So, it followed that she should try and make it work, somehow, right?
That was when she was feeling rational and calm.
But every so often, usually after a glass of wine, Felicity would do a bit of hopping herself.
Bex had been sleeping with Adam. Of all people.
Weren’t there rules about that sort of thing?
Some kind of Girl Code? Didn’t breaking it basically make the whole friendship null and void?
In the end, it all came down to one thing.
When Felicity first agreed to all this, to supporting Bex through the wedding (as long as she didn’t have to spend too much time with Adam, that was the deal) it was because she was in love.
She’d fallen head over heels for James the Penguin Man and it made everything else seem unimportant.
When she fell pregnant, that sealed it. Nothing else mattered.
It was just the three of them from now on and if Felicity’s friend wanted to marry her noxious ex-boyfriend then at the time she couldn’t have cared less.
Until it all went wrong.
Until their world shifted on its axis.
Now it was all she could do not to cry every single day.
Over dinner that night, James instantly knew something was up.
‘What’s she done now?’
‘Who?’ said Felicity.
‘Bex, of course.’
‘Oh. No. Nothing. I’m just struggling a bit today, that’s all.’
Without another word James put down his knife and fork, stood up, pulled Felicity out of her seat and into an embrace against his broad chest. He manoeuvred her into the easy chair in the corner, still embracing her, and she snuggled close and swallowed back tears.
There was a little chirrup from the floor beside them and up jumped little Holly, their youngest cat, immediately purring, and flopping straight down onto Felicity’s chest as if she knew that’s where the pain was.
‘I got you,’ James whispered into Felicity’s hair. ‘See?’ He indicated the cat. ‘We got you.’
Felicity nodded against him, stroking Holly absent-mindedly behind her ears. ‘I know. And I’m so lucky to have you all and this house and my amazing job and everything. It’s just…’
‘I know,’ whispered James. ‘I know.’
Felicity took some deep breaths and tried to sit with her feelings for a moment or two. It wasn’t easy.
They hadn’t even been trying for a baby.
When they met just a year and a half ago, James turning up at the door of the cat rescue centre dressed as a giant penguin, looking all soggy and yet somehow ridiculously sexy, with a tiny Holly kitten in his arms, Felicity had been in such a state of confusion over Adam it had taken her some time to let down her guard.
To let this handsome Penguin Man into her life.
But when she finally did, oh how they fell for each other.
They were totally and utterly in love, such as Felicity had never known.
And how completely delighted they had been when Felicity fell pregnant.
At least, James had been delighted. Over the moon.
Cock-a-hoop. All that stuff. Felicity, meanwhile, had been rather more cautious.
Stunned was the word, perhaps. She took three pregnancy tests just to be extra, extra certain, and then walked out of the French doors into the garden and blinked at the early evening moon as if she could find answers on its puckered surface.
James had given her a moment of contemplation, then followed her outside, wrapped his strong arms around her just as he was doing now and assured her in a low whisper that despite the past, despite her trust issues and her nightmare family, despite her appalling track record with men, she would be an incredible mum.
She had even started to believe it too. Until the night she woke and knew something was wrong.
A scan confirmed their deepest fears and although Felicity tried to tell herself it obviously wasn’t meant to work out this time or perhaps it was for the best anyway given how new their relationship was, and all the other nonsense that people try and tell themselves in such a moment, she knew she would never be the same.
‘Come on,’ said James now, bringing her back to the present. ‘Let’s go to bed.’
She obediently let him lead her upstairs and she wriggled down amongst their three gorgeous, rescued cats as if on autopilot.
James was snoring within seconds, but Felicity?
Of course not. Felicity lay there torturing herself over the upcoming horror that was Bex and Adam’s wedding and wondering whether she’d ever feel normal again.