Chapter 17
Felicity’s mother, Jocelyn, passed away when Felicity was a teenager, after years of alcohol and drug abuse and, they’d discovered much later, promiscuity too.
She’d even cheated on Harry, more than once, perhaps, and yet when Harry left them, walking out at Christmas in the middle of a family dinner, Jocelyn went completely to pieces.
Tristan had gone to search him out as soon as he was old enough to do so, leaving Felicity to mop up her mother physically and psychologically, as best she could.
It had been the worst kind of childhood, one where she was forced to grow up way too fast and had no one to help her cope with the loss of her father, no male role models and barely a female one either.
When Jocelyn wasn’t drunk, she was sleeping it off or wallowing in her own misery.
When Jocelyn finally died, sad as it was, the overwhelming feeling was relief.
Sitting across from her father now, who was arguably the reason for all this misery, Felicity knew she should be mad.
She was mad. Perhaps it would be with her forever.
But somehow, it was also good to be able to talk to someone from her own family.
Someone who could understand. Someone who knew Jocelyn. Someone who knew.
That night, Felicity curled up against James and tried to explain what it had been like to finally spend time with her father. But the words were elusive. Bobby Charlton had settled himself under her chin and was purring for England. His soft black fur tickled her skin.
‘Mainly, I just feel exhausted,’ she said. ‘Like I’ve been hit by not just a ton of bricks but maybe a whole houseful. If they use more than a ton of bricks to build a house, I really have no idea how many bricks a ton might be but I imagine it’s quite a lot.’
James squeezed her shoulder. ‘I’m not surprised. It must have been really emotional.’
‘It’s strange. It’s like he’s always been there and yet I know nothing about him, does that make sense? It’s peculiar.’
‘I can imagine,’ murmured James. ‘I mean, I can’t really, but I’m trying.’
Felicity snuggled in closer. ‘You are so lovely,’ she said simply.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
‘Felicity…’ said James quietly. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
‘Did it hurt?’
He squeezed her side, making her giggle. ‘Ha ha, you’re hilarious, Brooks.’
‘I know.’
‘But I’m being serious.’
‘Yikes. Not again.’
‘I’ve been wondering if it bothers you that I used to share this house with my ex. You know, with Erika?’
Felicity stiffened at the name. Tall, glamorous and exotic-looking, Erika was everything Felicity was not. ‘Well, now it does.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up.’
‘It’s okay. But you only get one a year, right?’
‘Right. Sorry. So… does it?’
Felicity turned to face him. His brow was crinkled with worry. She smoothed a hair back from his face while she thought it over.
‘I mean, it’s not something I think about on the regular or anything.’ His eyes relaxed a little. ‘But now you mention it, I suppose it’s not ideal…’
James nodded gravely, his blue eyes wide. ‘That’s what I thought. I was just wondering—’
‘But you love this place.’
James looked very intense. Felicity felt her cheeks growing warm. She loved it when he got all serious. ‘I do. But I love you more. And I think…’
‘Yes?’ Her heart was pounding now.
‘I think we should buy a place together.’
Until that moment, Felicity hadn’t known how much it did bother her.
But at his words, an invisible weight lifted from her shoulders.
He was right. Erika’s shadow was all over the house.
The stark, minimalist kitchen, the Japanese wall art, the aesthetically pleasing but ultimately super-uncomfortable furniture.
The only thing James had chosen in the whole place was this huge snuggly sofa they were now curled up on.
It was incidentally also the only thing in the house that Felicity really liked.
‘I think so too.’
James’s mouth lifted in delight at her words and he leant in to kiss her hungrily, taking the breath from her body.
‘Hold on, hold on,’ she said, after a few lingering moments.
He chuckled against her lips. A low, rumbling sound that made her shiver with delight. ‘Sorry, I just love kissing you.’
She put a hand on his Disney prince chest, muscles taut beneath, and leant back.
‘Believe me, not as much as I love you kissing me.’ He leant towards her again at that, eyes twinkling, but she pushed against him. ‘But aren’t you forgetting something?’
‘What?’
‘Well, how about the fact that I work for an animal charity and have no money whatsoever?’
‘What about your flat?’
She had almost forgotten about her flat. Tiny, bijou, cosy. How she had loved living in that place.
‘It was rented, remember? I didn’t even get my deposit back because they said I’d, ahem, left it in a worse state than when I found it. Which, frankly, I find very insulting because I even scrubbed the oven for a whole half an hour.’
James laughed. ‘Yes, but your idea of scrubbing an oven…’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
He just stared at her, eyebrows raised, until she had to admit, he was absolutely right. ‘I hate housework,’ she said with a shrug. ‘You know this.’
‘Me too,’ he replied.
‘So…? How are we gonna buy a house together with no money? And make sure we can still get a cleaner in sometimes?’
He waved a hand around. ‘Because this place is going to raise quite enough for what we need.’
Felicity followed his gaze. It was an amazing house, a converted Victorian pile right in the middle of the most expensive area to live in the whole of Derbyshire, Chancery Downs. Or Chelsea Downs as the locals liked to call it because of the abundance of Range Rovers in the area.
‘I can’t ask you to do that,’ she said softly.
‘I want to,’ he said.
‘Doesn’t Erika…?’ Her voice died on her lips, the sentence unfinished.
James shook his head. ‘I bought out her share when she… left. It wasn’t much. She did all the furnishings and I paid for it all. That was pretty standard.’
‘So she just wanted you for your cheque book?’
‘Something like that.’
‘Stupid girl didn’t know what she had.’ Felicity smiled, leaning in to kiss him. A haunted look passed across his face just for a second, and then he smiled and brushed her lips lightly with his.
‘And I suppose you do?’
She nodded vigorously. She’d mercifully only come across Erika once in the flesh but she knew all she needed to know. Beautiful Erika was an idiot to let this incredible man go. Pure and simple. ‘Hell, yeah I do.’
‘Then let’s go house-hunting, Miss Brooks.’
Goose bumps prickled down her spine.
‘I’m getting on Rightmove right now.’
‘Not… right this minute I hope.’ James smiled, leaning in for another kiss.
She giggled. ‘Not exactly right this minute… no way I can concentrate while you’re doing that, PM.’
James laughed, his kisses moving down to her neck and making her forget her own name let alone where she lived. ‘Sorry not sorry.’
‘Can you promise not to mention your ex-girlfriend again for a bit?’ breathed Felicity.
‘I’ll do my best.’
Everything went a bit blurry after that. In the best way.