Chapter 48
‘I’ve got a bad feeling,’ she said to Sophie when they met for coffee the next day and Felicity had attempted to explain all the craziness that was going on.
‘He’s just gone away for work, right?’ said Sophie breezily. ‘Nothing to worry about.’ She’d been surprisingly good about the whole Guernsey thing, which had just made Felicity feel worse about potentially moving away.
‘I’m sure you’re right.’
‘So why does your face look like that?’
‘Like what?’
‘All crinkly?’ said Sophie gently.
‘I don’t know,’ said Felicity. ‘What if he’s planning to leave me?’
‘Why on earth would he do that?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t enthusiastic enough about the Guernsey idea? What if this is all just a distraction anyway?’
‘A distraction from what?’
‘I don’t know, to keep my eye off the ball somehow? Metaphorically speaking. What if I’ve messed it all up?’
‘And what if you haven’t?’ said Sophie, taking a sip of her chai latte which was so strongly aromatic with cinnamon and cardamom it was making Felicity feel a bit ill.
‘Fair point.’
‘Just relax. It’ll be fine. He’s a keeper. No way he’s going anywhere. Trust me.’
‘I’m trying. Honest.’
Sophie raised an eyebrow. Then her perfect face crumpled. ‘Seriously though, what am I going to do without you, Fliss?’
Felicity smiled. ‘It’s not even on the cards properly yet.’
‘Oh, I think it is,’ said Sophie. ‘And more to the point, I think it’s an amazing idea. Or at least I would if it didn’t mean I had to lose you.’
‘You could never lose me,’ said Felicity, her voice catching in her throat.
‘Ditto.’
‘So that’s fine then. I mean, we’ll make it work. Anyway,’ said Felicity, draining her own cup of nice plain breakfast tea, ‘have you seen Bex at all? How is she?’
Sophie’s perfect brow crinkled even more deeply. ‘Not good. Seriously not good. I’ve never seen her like this before, to be honest. She’s barely eating, she’s lost loads of weight. She’s not even washing her hair.’
Felicity let out a little gasp. In Bex’s world, that was an emergency. ‘What can we do?’
‘I don’t know. She doesn’t want to see anyone, she says. She’s just hiding in her flat, she’s not been to work, nothing.’
‘That’s not like her,’ said Felicity, instantly trying to think of ways to fix it.
‘I know.’
‘We have to give her time I suppose but how long before maybe we need to stage an intervention?’ asked Felicity.
‘Let’s give her a few more days and then see.’
‘Okay. Good plan. Poor Bex.’
‘I know.’
But they didn’t need a couple of days.
On Wednesday evening, Bex showed up at Felicity’s house.
The weather was turning colder, autumn was upon them, and there was Bex, standing on the doorstep with not so much as a jumper over her crumpled linen dress, shivering.
Sophie had been right, she looked absolutely dreadful, even worse than before.
Her usually glossy black hair was limp, her clothes were hanging off her and her face was tear-stained.
Felicity led her through to the living room, and sat Bex down in an armchair, wrapping a blanket round her shoulders. Bex didn’t even react. Felicity headed for the kitchen area to make her a nice hot cup of tea and sent an emergency text to Sophie:
Bex is here, help!
Then she sat opposite her friend and tried to think of something to say.
Bex clutched the tea as if it was a lifebelt, and said nothing.
Just when the silence had gone beyond awkward into downright embarrassing, Sophie rang the doorbell.
Not for the first time, Felicity whispered a silent thank you prayer for the existence of Sophie in her life. And for the speediness of her posh car.
They both sat opposite Bex and waited for her to speak.
‘I’ve heard from Adam,’ said Bex. Her voice was raspy as if she’d been crying all day again. Which, for all they knew, she had.
‘And?’ said Sophie, ever so gently.
‘He’s not in a good way. He wants to see me.’
‘Really? How do you feel about that?’ said Felicity, her voice wobbling.
She knew from all too bitter experience that the last thing Bex should do would be to give Adam the time of day.
He had a way of wheedling his way back into her heart that she’d never been able to fully explain.
In this state, Bex wouldn’t stand a chance.
Bex put her head in her hands. ‘I don’t know. I don’t think I want to. But what if I tell him to get lost and he actually gets lost? I don’t want that either.’
Sophie took a deep breath. ‘You’re not seriously considering taking him back, are you?’
Bex spoke through her fingers. ‘No. No, of course not. Maybe.’
Felicity and Sophie gasped collectively, exchanging worried glances.
‘You can’t,’ said Sophie. ‘Not after that, surely. He was shagging someone a month ago. While you were engaged.’
‘He’s a rotter. There’s no two ways about it. You need to make a clean break, Bex.’
‘Like you did, you mean?’ Bex practically spat the words at Felicity and she recoiled.
‘That’s not fair,’ said Sophie. ‘It was Adam who wouldn’t leave Fliss alone if you remember.’
‘I remember,’ said Bex bitterly.
Felicity could feel tears prickling the back of her eyes. ‘The thing is,’ she said, trying to keep her voice level, ‘you don’t seem to really hold him responsible. I can’t understand it.’
‘It’s like my mum said, men will be men. This is just what they do, right?’
Sophie and Felicity exchanged another look. ‘You can’t seriously believe that,’ said Sophie.
Bex shrugged. ‘I don’t know what I believe anymore.’
‘Petunia is wrong about this, Bex,’ said Felicity firmly. ‘You have to know that. I’m sure she means well but she’s completely wrong about this.’
Sophie piped up. ‘Bex. Seriously. You used to be the biggest feminist of the lot. I just don’t understand what’s happened to you.’
They had no time to continue the conversation as just then, the doorbell went again. Felicity looked around the room, they were definitely already all here. So who could this be? And then she realised, her palms instantly prickling with sweat.
Sophie went to the bay window at the front of the huge room and peered out. ‘It’s Adam,’ she said needlessly.
Felicity stood up, feeling decidedly wobbly. She looked at Bex. ‘Want me to tell him to get lost?’ she said.
‘Let him in,’ said Bex, jaw clenched.
‘Okay. But if he causes any trouble at all, even a modicum of trouble, even a smidgeon, an inkling, the barest whisper of trouble, I’m kicking him out.
’ Felicity didn’t even wait for a reply.
She hated the idea of Adam coming into her lovely safe haven in Chancery Downs and she was secretly hoping he’d give her an excuse to send him away.
‘Brace yourselves, everyone,’ she said as she walked down the hallway.
And sure enough, there on the doorstep – her bloody doorstep – was Adam, her ex-boyfriend and one-time stalker. James was actually going to kill her if she let him in.
‘What can I do for you?’ said Felicity, trying to sound nonchalant.
To her surprise and no small delight, Adam looked almost as bad as Bex.
His usually bright skin was sallow and he hadn’t washed his hair.
He even had a breakout of spots on his skin, something Felicity had never seen before, not even when he was a teenager.
He was still dressed to kill in chinos and a pale-green shirt but his twinkle, that Tom Cruise smile, was definitely dulled.
‘Is she here?’ he said, not bothering to sit on ceremony let alone stand.
‘What do you want, Adam?’
‘Is she here?’ he replied, like an automaton.
‘Yes, she’s here, but…’ Felicity tried to finish her sentence but Adam pushed straight past her and into the lounge.
‘Hey…’ said Felicity, following him through to where he had crouched down beside Bex, who was looking at him like he was a sight for sore eyes. ‘Adam, I’m not sure this is a good idea.’
‘Yes, maybe you should go,’ said Sophie, practically wringing her hands.
‘Just give us a minute please,’ said Adam through gritted teeth.
‘It’s not up to you I’m afraid. Bex, are you happy for him to be here?’
Bex looked up at her and smiled. ‘It’s good to see him, actually,’ she said quietly.
‘Okay,’ said Felicity, ‘but we’re not leaving the room.’
‘Fine,’ said Adam.
Felicity and Sophie moved over to the window to give them some space and/or eavesdrop like the proper friends they were. Adam shot them a nervous glance. He’d obviously never seen Bex like this either.
There was a long silence. And finally, ‘I missed you so much,’ he breathed, taking Bex’s hand in his.
Bex looked at him for a long moment. ‘I missed you too,’ she said.
Felicity gripped Sophie’s arm silently. It was all she could do not to speak up.
Adam sighed with relief, pressing a palm to his chest. ‘Thank God. I’m so sorry, Bex. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I need to go and see someone.’
Bex nodded furiously, taking his hand from his chest and holding it gently. ‘I said to Felicity, I wonder if you’ve got some sort of addiction, you know, like that actor.’
‘That was never proven,’ said Felicity from across the room.
They both completely ignored her.
Adam hung his head and Bex put a hand on his shoulder. Sophie rolled her eyes and muttered, ‘How stupid can you get?’ under her breath. They ignored that too.
‘I’m willing to get help,’ said Adam. ‘I have no idea what’s going on with me really but I’m happy to get help if that will make you feel better.’
‘I don’t think anything could make me feel better, Ads. You ruined my wedding day. I thought it was those girls, but it was you.’
Felicity held her breath. That wasn’t what she was expecting Bex to say, and it was clear from Adam’s expression that he felt the same.
‘Hey, I’m not sure that’s entirely fair,’ he began to say.
Sophie cut him off. ‘Let her speak,’ she hissed.
‘Yes, please let me speak, Adam,’ said Bex, suddenly almost deathly calm.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry.’
‘I’ve always known you were in love with Felicity,’ began Bex.