5. Karma
CHAPTER FIVE
KARMA
“I’m very disappointed in you, Karma.” Snake perches on my shoulder as Kreo pulls the string through my thigh. I look away and focus on anything other than his unhappy expression. “It isn’t a show night. You’re aware you weren’t supposed to go out hunting tonight.”
He doesn’t know that I never killed anyone today.
Or that I didn’t kill anyone yesterday, either.
Both nights I was preoccupied with watching Micha and Arlo.
I couldn’t stop myself after I followed them home.
I also had to follow them tonight. Micha was coming out of their building, and it was a short walk to the graveyard. I watched him through the windows.
And then he saw me.
Kreo had no idea what I was doing. I don’t either. If he found out I’d been seen outside the circus and that the person was still alive, he would be even angrier. But my leg ripped as I turned and ran from Micha’s gaze, and Kreo caught me limping on my way back in.
“Why did you go?”
“I wassss hungry,” I lie as he ties the last of the string, my snake tongue hissing against my teeth as I speak. “I couldn’t help mysssself.”
He raises his eyebrows. “I told you to practice your speech. You sound like a snake.”
That’s why I hate speaking. I can’t get that rattle to go away for good when I pronounce my S’s. I’m close. It creeps out when I’ve not practiced in a while, like today.
“You gave me a sssnake’s tongue,” I argue, and he folds his arms, shaking his head.
“Don’t argue with me, madam. You need to keep practicing. In private.”
Because no one is allowed to see or hear me. Kreo says I’ll upset people. He calls me beautiful but tells me no one will understand who or what I am. The circus performers hate the way I speak, so he’s probably right.
But Arlo was watching me with such wide eyes, such an entranced smile. Then it was terror in the alleyway—terror that made my stomach ache with hunger—and that new scent, heady and hot.
Snake rubs his head against my neck, attempting to comfort me, but my mind is away from Kreo and his demands.
“I need to be able to trust you, Karma.” Kreo sits on his chair, sliding over to sit in front of me.
He takes my hands into his, but he doesn’t look at me as he continues to talk; he looks at my fingers, twisting them and turning them over, examining me like he always does.
Eventually, he says, “I’ll be leaving tomorrow. ”
I tilt my head to the side and blink as I wait for him to explain.
“Two weeks. I need to collect some samples from across the country. I thought this city would be a good place to set up camp whilst I’m gone. That means you and the other performers need to keep on top of things whilst I’m away. We have six more shows whilst we’re here.”
It’s not rare for Kreo to leave. He likes to travel to find more things for his creations.
“I’ll be leaving Spiral in charge. He’ll be keeping an eye on you, okay?”
I lean my head back and growl. Fucking Spiral. I hate him. He’s Kreo’s right-hand man and the leader of the clowns, but he thinks he’s the second coming of this circus or something. I only follow demands from him when Kreo leaves him in charge, not that I do so willingly.
Spiral likes to make my life difficult when he can, but it’s not my fault I’m Kreo’s favourite.
The circus is jealous that I’m the lead of the show, and they hate the fact I was created by Kreo, Spiral especially, but their hatred rolls off my back easily.
They don’t understand how much freedom they have.
They can take off their clothes and makeup; mine is my body.
They can head into town and explore and socialise whenever they want, and Kreo doesn’t watch or study them.
The lot are ungrateful little shits, and I’d kill and eat them all if I were allowed.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Karma. He knows you need to leave for an hour after every show. It’s only two weeks.”
My one reprieve is the fact that Spiral is lazy. He drinks too much, sleeps deeply, and won’t be keeping any more of an eye on me than he has to. It gives me more freedom. Maybe I could go and see Micha and Arlo again. Just a little peek to satiate my curiosity.
“What are you thinking right now?”
I blink and look down at Kreo. He holds a book and a pencil, waiting patiently for me to tell him my thoughts. He likes to ask and write them down, although I don’t understand why.
“Nothing.” That’s not true, but I’m unable to think of an excuse quick enough. He can’t know about Micha and Arlo.
“Really? You looked deep in thought.” Kreo shrugs and shuts the book, tossing it onto the table. “I’m leaving tonight. I’ll be back for the big finale on the last day. I’ll give you enough thread, needles, and glue to keep up with your leg. Ask Spiral if you struggle.”
Like heck I’ll be doing that.
After he throws his goggles and magnifying glass into an overflowing duffel bag, he wraps an arm around my shoulders. I never hug him back because I don’t understand why he does it, but he always pulls away and smiles.
As he walks off to his trailer filled with his supplies, my eyes are dragged to the one opposite it. The off-limits trailer always stays behind with the circus if Kreo has to go somewhere.
“You better be on your best behaviour.”
My lip curls up in a snarl that pulls at my stitches as I turn to find Spiral leaning against a pole propping up the tent, his black-painted smile more of a malicious smirk.
Snake hides under my collar, trying to get out of Spiral’s sight before he notices him and starts taunting him like he normally does.
Spiral’s black and white hair is messy, and the paint across his face has begun to smudge. His jumpsuit that he always wears has patches of dots and stripes sewed in randomly, and the sight never fails to infuriate me.
“Whilst Kreo is gone, I’m in charge. So hop on and get to bed.” The two tips of his split tongue peek out when he talks. I see in his eyes how much he enjoys ordering me around. He’ll do whatever he can to piss me off.
For how much Spiral hates me, he can’t seem to get enough of aggravating me when Kreo isn’t here. When he leaves for his trip, Spiral constantly puts himself in situations where he can watch me and purposefully make me uncomfortable.
It’s not worth arguing with him, so I push past, letting my shoulder slam into his.
He cackles as I walk, the high-pitched sound getting quieter as I approach my tent.
There’s a group of tents that the rest of the circus uses, but I’m always pushed aside.
I’m closer to the forest on the edge of the field than I am to them. I don’t mind—they’re loud and annoying.
My mattress on the floor welcomes me when I lie down.
Snake curls up beside me, but I don’t shut my eyes.
I stare up at the red spiral on the roof of my tent, my green eyes illuminating the space above me.
The rain starts to patter against the fabric, the sound thrumming around me, and I know that I won’t be falling asleep any time soon. My mind is too occupied.
Saliva pools in my mouth as I think about biting into Micha’s thick bicep, and that unfamiliar heat returns deep inside of me when I recall the smell of Arlo’s fear.
Never have I left a victim alive. I pounce the first chance I get and refuse to fail.
But the heated feeling that the smell and sight of them together brought out of me…
It’s too unknown, too new. I’ve never felt anything like it.
That’s the reason either of them are still alive.
But now Micha has seen me. His heart was beating fast as he looked for me around the graveyard, and the heat in my stomach came back when I smelt his growing fear. A car passed with its stupid lights, and he saw me crouched on the floor, watching and waiting.
We’re not long from daybreak, and there’s no show tomorrow, so all the other performers will be sleeping in until lunchtime.
This is the perfect chance to go hunting and watching.
I know I don’t want to kill them. Not right now.
Later, after I’ve played with them some more, I will end it. But for now…
“Come on, Ssssnake.”
His little rat mouth yawns as I stand up and make my way out of the tent. He chitters behind me, quickly catching up to crawl across my body and hide in the thickest part of my pigtail. He likes it in there; it’s like a big warm hole to hide in.
I slowly pass by Spiral’s tent, peeking my head inside. As I thought, he’s already fast asleep, a bottle of whisky in his hand. He likes to drink that stuff a lot. I think it stinks; my nose is too sensitive to handle the pungent smell. At least it means he’ll be knocked out cold for the night.
As I pass the trailers to exit the field, I let my eyes pass over the big padlock on the door keeping everyone out. I remember what I heard from inside. The muffled bang.
I shake my head and look away, focusing on the edge of town across the road. It’s one thing to sneak away because of my curiosities; it’s another to break into Kreo’s property. He wouldn’t be happy.
The soles of my feet crunch over the gravel before finding the cold concrete pavement, and in the very early hours of the morning, there’s no one to watch me.
Snake rummages around in my hair as I sneak into back alleys, remembering the route to the building I saw Micha and Arlo returning to after the circus. I think they live there.
Micha might still be at the graveyard like he was earlier. Humans have a lot of different jobs; is watching the graves Micha’s job? He must have power over the souls or something to make them stay inside the ground. Why else would they need someone patrolling a field full of dead bodies?
I hope Arlo is in the building at least. I’ve not seen him since, and I really want to look at his jewellery again.