10. Karma
CHAPTER TEN
KARMA
Ican’t sleep tonight.
Snake creeps into my tent in the early hours, and we play tic-tac-toe until sunrise. But I know what he really wants.
“No,” I whisper, and he folds his little arms as far as they’re capable of folding. “Not allowed.”
He hisses and jumps up my arm. When he reaches my shoulder, he points to the flaps of my tent. He wants to go to the forbidden trailer.
“I told you, Sssnake. I’m not allowed to.”
He rolls his big eyes, diving off me and onto the floor, scurrying across the room to the top of my dressing table. He bypasses the polaroid photo of me and Kreo and leans over the edge, tapping his nose against the little padlock on the drawer.
“Yesss, it’s locked.” Snake waves his head back and forth before jerking it back towards the flaps of my tent. “Not locked? The trailer?” He nods quickly.
That trailer is always locked. Unless Spiral forgot to lock it last night.
I look down at my leg, and when I shift it, I can feel the twinges of thread starting to come loose. I do need more thread, and that trailer would have some, wouldn’t it?
I don’t know why I’m trying to convince myself to go when I should be convincing myself to stay away. Snake jumps in excitement to land on my back as I walk past.
The sun is ascending in the distance, casting a warm glow across the grass and numerous tents. I’m forced to duck and hide behind a flamethrower’s tent when I see familiar pink curls bouncing in the distance.
Moxie.
One of Spiral’s entourage.
She hates me more than anyone. And it’s for the same reason as Spiral. Both are jealous; both are leftovers.
She quickly strolls across the field in her white and pink jumpsuit, and she sneaks into Spiral’s tent on her hands and knees. Yeah, they’ll be up to something dirty in there. Not that I give a shit. Everyone in this circus is permanently horny.
I put them out of my mind and quickly walk to the trailers. Snake’s right—the padlock isn’t shut properly. Spiral would be in a lot of trouble if Kreo found out it hadn’t been closed. The only way to give solid proof of that is to know what’s inside.
More reasons and excuses.
But if I were to prove I’d been inside, then I’d have something to hang over Spiral’s head, like how he has Arlo and Micha to hang over mine.
That’s what I tell myself as if I’m not secretly curious.
I can feel Snake vibrating with anticipation as I take a step up and tentatively pull away the padlock, letting it fall to the grass with a thump. I expect to see Spiral stomping towards me any moment, but if he’s had too much to drink again, I should be safe.
I’m not used to disobeying, to feeling curiously for something that isn’t blood and death. It’s likely there isn’t anything interesting in here for me. Maybe Kreo wants to keep his contraptions safe.
“Shhh,” I hiss after Snake hisses first, the noise entering the dark space of the trailer. There’s a light switch, but that would be too obvious, so I use the limited sunlight filtering in through the door and the glow of my eyes to navigate my way as I creep inside.
There aren’t as many shelves with jars or boxes as there are in the other trailer. There’s a large wooden box behind the door, covered in metal chains that wrap around to a padlock at the front, and when I peer closer, I can see words carved into the top.
‘DO NOT OPEN — CHAOS’
Whatever’s inside is secure, and he doesn’t want anyone opening it to reveal its contents. Is this what he’s hiding?
A clang at the end of the trailer makes me straighten. It’s the same clang as the one I heard when I peeked through the hole.
Someone else might be in here with me.
Snake balances on my shoulder, and I lower onto all fours, keeping my eyes on the backend of the dark trailer. As I inch forward, I see the bottom of metal bars come into view. Another crawl closer, and I see the rest of a cage.
And then a face.
Striking. Beautiful. Large.
Bright blue eyes are glued on me for a moment before they move away from the bars, and then I can’t see them. Snake crawls up onto my head, perched and waiting.
“Who are you?” it asks suddenly, making Snake flinch.
I don’t answer, moving closer to the cage until I can wrap my hands around the bars, and that’s when I see it. All of it.
Sitting on the floor with its back pressed against the rear of the cage.
Its heavily muscled arms lean atop its knees, and its head is tilted aside to watch me.
Triple-pointed ears protrude out of dark blue hair that reaches its shirtless back, and I’m able to examine the shadowed ridges and planes of its chest. Fleshy slats line either side of its neck, and translucent scales shine across its waist, reflecting from the green of my eyes and leading a trail down to its waist.
It’s completely naked.
Large arms and legs have more of those scattered scales, and there’s webbing between its fingers and toes. When I zero in on the space between its legs, I can see something there, but it’s hidden behind legs crossed at the ankles.
And it is huge. I’ve never seen muscles so large.
They’re definitely a man.
His eyebrows are dark above bright blue eyes, with a broad nose, defined jaw, and thick lips. And he must be tall. Even sitting down, he has to arch.
Snake inches forward on my head, and the creature narrows his eyes.
“What is that?”
“Ssssnake.”
“It’s a rat.” I nod, and he doesn’t fight me anymore. “Who are you?”
I tilt my head, ignoring his words and listening to the beat of his heart. I can hear double.
“Two heartsss?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“They’re ssslow.” He’s not scared of me. “I can hear them.”
“That is impressive. But who are you?”
“Karma,” I say quietly. “Do you have a name?”
“Karma? Interesting. Of course I have a name. But nobody has asked me that since I got here.”
The smell of fish catches my attention. It’s in the corner of the cage.
“You eat fish.”
The creature snarls. “No, I do not. Those men keep giving it to me, but I’ve told them I don’t touch fish.”
Those men? He must mean Kreo and Spiral. “What do you eat?”
“Anything but fish.”
Snake jumps through the cage bars and grabs the fish in his teeth, dragging it to me. I reach in and grab it, throwing it across the trailer. Snake jumps back onto my arm.
“Thank you, Karma. And Snake.” Snake hisses softly as a reply that means ‘you’re welcome’, and the creature’s blue lips pull into a small smile. “What are you doing sneaking in here, anyway?”
“Curious.” I’m getting better at controlling my tongue.
“About me? Everyone seems to be.”
“What is your name?”
“Soren.”
“Sssoren,” I repeat, bringing my face closer to the bars. “Why are you in here?”
“That doctor with the white hair brought me here. He’s using me for some weird tests. Not that I want to be here.” Kreo kidnapped Soren? I don’t find that hard to believe. “Would you help me out of here, Karma?”
I look at the trailer door. Spiral will be up soon, and I would be going against Kreo completely.
“It’s okay,” he sighs sadly. “I understand you can’t. I just… don’t want to die, Karma.”
I don’t have a heart. Or a soul. So why does my tummy feel funny? Sadness? But I’ve never felt sadness before.
I do not like it. Not one bit.
The feeling freaks me out, and I slowly back away from the cage. Soren’s furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips get darker as I get further away, until his large frame is completely shadowed. Snake clings to my head, and I leave the trailer, shutting the door behind me.
Spiral is walking in our direction, so I hide behind the closest tent. I don’t want to deal with his mood right now. I’ll reveal what I know soon.
He’s muttering something incoherent under his breath and stops in front of the padlock on the floor, eyes wide. He’s realised he’s fucked up. I have to force back a laugh.
“Fucking shit buckets,” he mumbles, dropping down and picking up the lock.
As soon as he’s inside, I hurry back to my tent, narrowly missing Moxie and Dolly, who are walking beside the show tent.
I don’t want to deal with the both of them, either.
Dolly is silent but watches everything with searing eyes, and Moxie likes to cause problems. They never speak to me directly; none of the other performers do.
They think I’ll eat them. If they weren’t off-limits because of Kreo, then I probably would.
Snake hops onto the mattress and perches himself on the edge, waiting expectantly. Normally, this would be it for me until showtime, sitting in this tent and occupying myself. But Snake doesn’t seem interested in doing that anymore, and I feel the same.
Spiral can’t touch me now. None of them can. Which means I’m free to find a certain curly-haired blonde and his muscle.
It’s probably time we talked.