Chapter 24
“The trap was perfect. The timing was perfect. The heart was the flaw.”—The Count of Monte Cristo
JUDE
"Boo."
The word hits me like a sucker punch to the stomach. I don’t move. I don’t breathe. Lilah stops beside me while Charlie goes strangely quiet. My entire world feels like it’s exploding all around me, I reach for Lilah’s hands, and I don’t let go. I can’t.
Axel’s hands are shoved in his pockets, his face isn’t teasing, it’s dead ass serious. He pushes away from my car and shoves both hands deeper into the pockets of his peacoat like he’s searching for something, a soul maybe? A heart? Because what the fuck!
For a second nobody moves. Nobody breathes. I bark out a laugh. It’s not one full of humor. “What the hell is this?”
Axel shrugs. "You asked to see the person behind the curtain."
"The emails?" Lilah whispers. “The letters. All of it?”
"The observatory?" I add. “What about the tips, the warnings? What about fucking bringing me home?”
Axel nods once. "I knew about the Dean's List." The world tilts on its axis a bit. I can’t stay still, but I find I also can’t move. I’m stuck. I grip Lilah’s hand. “You knew?”
"I knew enough," he says.
"You let me think it was my father," I whisper.
He shakes his head. "Nah, man, I let you think what you needed to think in order to get shit done."
I take one step toward him. "So, all of this was a game?"
"No." His jaw tightens. "It stopped being a game the second your mother died."
My heart pounds. "You brought me back because of her?"
"Yeah." He nods. “I had to. It was her dying wish. My dad had been helping her investigate, and since he was adopted into this insane family, nobody really trusted him—or me. They also thought we were stupid and only after money, so a partnership was born.”
"But, you watched me lose my mind," I point out. “You watched me fall in love all over again and nearly get destroyed!”
His expression softens. "I was hoping that part would happen."
Lilah looks between us. "Axel..."
He lets out a slow breath. "I needed the truth, Lilah. I needed both of you to stop lying long enough to find it, I needed to know what you saw, what you said, why you said it. I needed to know I could trust both of you."
I laugh.
It's ugly.
Broken.
"So what? You have the list?" I ask.
His hand disappears into his coat.
Every muscle in my body locks up.
Lilah gasps. I tense.
But instead of a gun, he pulls out a black thumb drive. “What? You really think I’d carry around a giant ass piece of paper?” he asks. “I memorized the important pages, the others are on here.” He holds up the drive.
A voice cuts through the darkness. "Don't."
We all turn.
Charlie. She’s standing ten feet away. A gun shakes in her hands. It’s pointed directly at Axel. What the hell?
Tears stream down her face, ruining the careful makeup she'd put on just an hour ago in order to help us, so what the fuck is she doing now? “Don’t you dare hand that over.”
Axel stares at her, his voice breaks. “Charlie.”
"I'm on it!" she screams waving the gun in the air. “I’ve been on it since the beginning.”
Lilah steps forward. “Charlie, stop, what are you doing? You’re my best friend. If you’re on it, we’ll find a way to help.”
"I need that list." She sobs. “I need it!”
Axel slowly lowers the thumb drive. "Charlie, we can figure this out."
"No!" She points the gun at all of us now moving back and forth between Axel, me, even Lilah. The desperation in her voice is palpable. "You owe me!"
I stare at her wide-eyed. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Lilah shakes her head. “You’re my best friend. My sister!”
Charlie laughs. It's the saddest sound I've ever heard. Like she wants it so badly to be true but knows it’s one sided, knows she messed up. “No.” She shakes her head. “I’m so much more than that.”
Silence. The parking lot suddenly feels too small. Too quiet. She looks straight at me. "My mother slept with your father." My stomach drops. Shit. “He got her pregnant.”
Lilah takes a stumbling step backward.
Charlie never looks at her, just keeps talking. "He sent me away." The gun shakes harder. "You got the family." She looks at Lilah. "You got the mother." Then at me. "You got to come home."
A broken smile crosses her face. "And I got a file folder and a lifetime of being told I wasn't wanted."
She lifts the gun. "So, give me the list. I had to flirt with my own fucking father. Do you realize how desperate I am?"
Behind her, headlights swing into the parking lot.
Black SUVs.
Car doors slam.
My father's voice cuts through the night.
"I was wondering when everyone would finally stop lying to each other. Ah, Charlie, I paid good money to make you stay hidden, guess it can’t buy you everything."
I expect anger.
I expect Charlie to pull the trigger, I know I would, I know I want to. Instead, it’s like he just disarmed her with words she’s known her whole life, words of not being wanted, not even wanting to exist.
She just stares at him. And for the first time since I met her, Charlie looks small. It’s one of the most tragic things I’ve ever experienced in real time, seeing someone die inside from rejection and knowing there is nothing I can do to give it back.
That sort of hurt stays with you until it grows and festers, it crawls into every insecure relationship, into every job, friendship, love, and family until it destroys because it has nowhere else to go but the heart.
“The list.” Dad holds out his hand. “Now.”