CHAPTER 43 - Fine. One Dance
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I barely heard him.
My gaze drifted across the grand hall, to where I had seen her.
Raine.
The moment our eyes had met, she had fled. No curtsy, no smile, not even the smallest acknowledgment of my existence. She had vanished into the crowd as though I were something to be avoided.
Fool. I felt like an utter fool.
I had been eager to see her tonight. More than I should. And yet, she could not even bear to look at me. At first, I had found her defiance intriguing. A breath of fresh air. But these days, her coldness left a sour taste on my tongue.
Why did she despise me so much?
I had been nothing but kind to her since our meeting. And yet she spurned every gesture, throwing it back in my face as if my efforts were nothing.
Even tonight, after I finally accepted that she wasn't attending, I had to resort to sending Finnel to fetch her. She probably thought me pathetic for it.
The minister prattled on, but I no longer cared to listen.
"If Rose rank is truly so terrible for Lady Leola, I could always demote her to Dahlia," I offered.
The minster's eyes widened.
"S-Sire, I did not mean—"
"No matter," I dismissed, already walking away.
All around me, concubines bloomed like flowers, perfumes thicker than any garden.
They smiled whenever our eyes met, curtsying lower than needed.
Yet none of it stirred me. All I wanted was to find the woman who loathed me.
And the longer I struggled to find her, the more pathetic my thoughts became.
Should I just demote her?
Her late arrival alone was reason enough. A single word from me and she would find herself stripped of her rank. Perhaps then, she would regret her cruelty.
The thought settled darkly in my chest.
Determined, I pushed away the lingering courtiers and continued searching for her. I moved through the hall with purpose, ignoring anyone who got in my way.
Where was she?
I searched every corner of the hall, from the edges of the dance floor to the clusters of gossiping nobles. My eyes swept over the buffet tables, but the sight only worsened my mood further.
I had noticed that she favored dried plums, and ordered the chefs to include them in the desserts. I did so thinking she'd be pleased, but now I wondered if she even noticed.
My jaw clenched.
I thought we'd grown a bit closer after that night we spent together. But it seemed to have only driven her further away.
Finally, it dawned on me that she truly was nowhere in the hall.
Exhausted with the endless throng of vying guests, I turned from the crowd and strode toward the glass doors leading to the gardens. The lock clicked beneath my hand, and I pushed the door open.
A nearby guard straightened, but I fixed him with a cold stare.
"Do not let anyone follow me," I ordered.
"Yes, Your Majesty," he stammered.
With that, I stepped outside.
The cold air bit at my skin, a welcome contrast to the stifling heat of the hall. But it had begun to snow, flakes drifting lazily, catching on my lashes. It fell thicker the further I walked into the gardens, and with every flake that touched my skin, my mood darkened further.
Snow always did this to me.
It reminded me too much of that day...
I could still see it if I closed my eyes... The guillotine... My mother... She still wore her white gown which marked her as empress. And though her hands were tied behind her back, she never stopped looking dignified and beautiful.
My own hands were tied as well, though I was simply a spectator that day, forced to watch. Beside me on the scaffold was that whore of a princess, holding her bastard son and smirking as though she had won.
I didn't give her the satisfaction of looking away.
Even as the blade fell... Even as my mother's head toppled and her blood, red as her hair, sprayed across the floor, I kept my eyes open.
It had begun to snow at that moment. As though the sky itself wished to bury the sin that had occurred.
But the flakes all turned red in the growing pool of blood.
No matter how much it snowed, it couldn't hide the stain left behind.
But alas, fate had a poetic sense of humor.
Just as it had snowed the day, it snowed too when I stole Briarvex and claimed my throne.
I took immense pleasure in seeing that whore's white gown turn red, her head at my feet.
As a gift, I let my father share in my pleasure.
I made sure his last moment was watching his mistress die in front of him.
Then I mercifully let him join her in the pits of damnation.
My temper burned hotter at the unwanted memories.
I wished I could go back and kill my father all over again.
How was he so blind to that woman?
The sudden sound of footsteps on snow caught my attention.
I followed the sound through the winding paths of the maze. The snow-covered hedges parted, and I stepped into the heart of the garden.
And there she was.
For a heartbeat, I thought I saw a ghost.
Framed by the glistening fountain behind her, Raine danced in the falling snow.
Her pale gown shimmered like a constellation, twirling around her as weightless as fog.
I couldn't look away. Her dark hair was windswept, strands clinging to her face as she swayed and turned.
Eyes closed, she moved as if she belonged to a dream.
I had come here with anger, determined to demote her. But as I watched her, all of that disappeared.
Like rain after a drought, she soothed the heat inside of me.
How could I be angry with her?
She was unapologetically herself. Even in her hatred, she was honest. And I loved that about her—
Loved?
The word startled me as much as the feeling did. I had never considered it before. Not for anyone. Yet when I thought of her, it came so naturally it almost hurt.
My chest ached as I watched her dance.
Hypnotized, I stepped closer, boots crunching softly in the snow.
Her eyes suddenly flew open, and she froze before me.
For a long time, neither of us spoke. We only stared at one another, the falling snow settling on our shoulders and hair.
Finally, I found my voice.
"Aren't you too cold, Princess?"
She blinked at me, her breath misting the air.
"I'm used to it," she replied quietly.
"You could use with warming up a bit," I said, taking another step toward her.
In response, she took a step back.
It felt no different than a spear to the chest.
"I thought you wouldn't come..." I admitted.
She rolled her eyes.
"How could I refuse an imperial summon?"
I almost smiled at the bitterness in her voice.
"Is it really so terrible to attend my birthday?"
That seemed to make her hesitate for a second.
"You... You have a whole month for your birthday," she said.
"But today is the official day," I countered.
"There are plenty of people to spend it with."
"But I want you."
That stopped her.
Her lips parted slightly, as if she didn't know how to respond.
"Even while I was away dealing with a crisis," I admitted, "all I could think about was returning."
I extended my hand to her, the snow gathering on my black glove.
"Would you not allow me a dance?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"Is this an imperial command?"
"No." My voice softened further. "I am simply asking as a man with a birthday wish."
For a moment, she only looked at me.
Then, she sighed.
"Fine. One dance."
She aimed to walk past, but I caught her hand and pulled her gently to my chest.
"Wha— What are you doing?" she asked.
"It's a bit crowded inside," I said. "Here is better."
"You're fine with the cold?" she asked, raising a brow.
I smiled.
"I suppose I have to be."
Before she could reply, I led her into a dance, guided by the distant music.
The snow fell around us, glowing blue and purple from the pulsing gems withing Raine's gown. With each movement, they gleamed brighter, rippling like a sea of stars.
I had never been a natural dancer. Every step I took was one I had drilled into memory, like marching into battle. Where Raine moved freely, as though the snow itself spun her around, my movements were sharp, precise.
"You're always such a stiff dance partner," she commented.
My brows furrowed faintly.
"You speak as though you've seen me dance before."
She stiffened.
"I meant... you're always such a stiff person. It obviously comes through in your dancing."
"I'm doing the steps exactly," I said flatly.
Her mouth twitched.
"You'd get along great with Claude."
"Is that the sister who's too disciplined?"
"Yes."
"If you miss your sisters so much, I could always invite them as concubines."
Raine's eyes darkened like storm clouds, her steps faltering.
"Never."
"I was merely jesting," I said quickly.
"It's not funny," she sneered.
For a moment, silence stretched between us, broken only by the crunch of snow beneath our feet.
"Why do you hate me?" I asked quietly. "Truly. And don't lie."
She sighed as though the question bore her.
"I don't hate you. I simply... Dislike the way you rule."
"What about it?"
"You're cruel."
"How so?"
"Where do I start?" she scoffed. "How about the fact that you force your Briarbound knights to make an oath for life? Barbing their throats with thorns meant to kill them."
A crease formed between my brows.
How did she know about the oath's price? Did I mention it to her before?
"I don't force anyone," I countered. "They all know the price when they swear their oath. And it's not as though I'm the first ruler to do so. It's been a tradition in the Thorne monarchy for decades."
Her expression remained hardened.
"Still," she said. "It's cruel."
"Then what about the cruelty I had faced?" I asked. "The price I had to pay for this throne?"
"What price?" she scoffed. "You spilled blood for your throne. Someone else paid for that crown of yours, Your Majesty."
Her words cut sharper than Briarvex.
"I executed my father and his mistress justly," I said through clenched teeth. "They falsely murdered my mother. I did no wrong in serving justice."
She laughed, cold as the snow.
"If it was really just, then where was the justice in killing the empress' child?"
I went silent.
My mind drifted back to that day. The throne room was already stained red. And the false empress' boy, no older than six, was crying beside the throne. He cries so much, he passed out, laying on the floor, defenseless. I had walked up to him, sword in hand...
And spilled blood.
"People would have challenged my reign if I let the false heir be..." I said at last. "They'd use him for their own ambition and greed."
Raine's steps slowed.
"No man who murders a child is a good ruler."
I bit down on my tongue.
Though I desperately wished to tell her I hadn't committed any wrong, I couldn't.
And as our dance continued, a strange weight settled on my chest.
"Then, if I'm so terrible..." I asked. "Do you wish to be free?"
Her brow furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"If life here is truly so unbearable, I'll let you return to Drakfjord."
She stared at me, her steps faltering again. I tightened my hold just enough to guide her back into rhythm.
"That's ridiculous," she said. "Concubines can't leave."
"I'd make an exception for you."
Her eyes narrowed.
"You're... You're lying. Without me, you don't have control over the vylnir."
"I'd still let you go if that's what you wanted," I promised.
For the first time, she seemed to consider it.
"Would... you attack my kingdom after I left?" she asked carefully.
I sighed.
"I wouldn't need to attack anyone if they surrender and hand over their cursed sword. I'd leave your kingdom to live in peace if you submit. Almost nothing would change. Only your banners."
She actually looked like she was weighing the offer, and the sight made my heart ache. Unable to continue this dance, I stopped, my hand dropping from hers.
"Then, I'll see to it that it's done," I said.
But just as I turned away, her hand shot out and grabbed my arm.
I glanced back, perplexed at her sudden change.
"I don't want to leave," she said, her voice unsteady.
The words surprised me.
With my heart beating faster, I turned to her fully, searching her expression.
"Why?" I asked.
She looked conflicted, her lips parting as if to speak, then closing again. Slowly, she let go of my arm, her gaze falling to the snow at our feet.
"I don't know..." she admitted. "But I just feel... Like I cannot let you go. Like I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."
My heart thundered at her words.
Was this possible? I knew exactly what she meant. I had the exact same unexplainable feeling about her too. Like she was more precious than anything else. Like I'd die if I lost her again.
Wait.
Again?
What a strange thought...
I stepped closer, my fingers lifting her chin so she would meet my gaze.
"If you really want to stay," I said softly, "then stop running away from me..."
Her eyes locked on mine, a mix of vulnerability and determination flickering across her face.
"I won't run," she whispered.
Then, before I could react, she rose onto her toes and kissed me.
My eyes widened, the world tilting under the weight of that single moment. And just like that, the anxiety twisting inside me dissolved into something euphoric. I kissed her back, cupping her face in my hands as if she could vanish.
Addicted to the taste of her, the kiss deepened. My heart pounded, my body screaming for more of her warmth, more of her touch. Yet, with great reluctance, I broke the kiss.
I'd get nowhere in this cold.
Taking her hand, I grinned, unable to hide my elation. Without a word, I began to lead her back toward the ball. Her face burned a beautiful shade of red, and I wondered with delight if the rest of her flushed so sweetly.
Happy as I had ever been, I proudly guided her back into the grand hall.
The moment we stepped through the glass doors, everyone turned our way. Whispers rippled through the guests. Concubines, Nobles, even my dear Nightshades gaped.
But I simply couldn't seem to care.
Without so much as a farewell to the guests, I steered Raine toward the exit. One of my attendants rushed to meet us, bowing low.
"Your Majesty, do you require anything?"
"I wish to retire for the night," I said.
The attendant's head snapped up, confusion flickering in his eyes before they darted nervously to Raine.
"B-but, Sire," he stammered, "there are several concubines still waiting for a dance—"
"See to it that the ball proceeds fine without me," I cut him off coldly.
He paled and bowed again, backing away as I led Raine past him.
We ascended the stairs to my chambers while two knights followed at a measured pace.
Raine's nervous glance slid up to me.
"You can't just leave the ball without saying anything."
A low chuckle rumbled in my chest.
"I'm a tyrant, remember?" I smirked. "I do whatever I please. And right now, your undisturbed company would please me greatly."
She hesitated.
"It isn't... appropriate to bring a concubine to your personal chambers. I told you that before..."
I leaned closer.
"Don't worry," I murmured, "I have far more inappropriate thoughts than this."
Her blush deepened, and I drank in the sight like fine wine.
At last, we reached my chambers. To my surprise, Finnel waited obediently by the door, a neat stack of letters clutched in his spindly arms. His eyes widened when he saw me.
"Ah, Your Majesty! Why are you back so early?"
"You know how the nobles bore me," I said with a crooked smile, taking the letters from him.
He returned the smile nervously, and I nodded toward the corridor.
"There now. Go to your room. You've done enough tonight."
"Yes, Sire!" he bowed before darting away.
When I looked back, Raine was watching me as though I had poisoned the boy.
A dark laugh escaped me at her expression before I turned to the knights.
"See to it that no one disturbs us," I commanded.
Still smiling faintly, I led my bride inside and closed the door behind us.
"I didn't know you were friendly with the messenger," she said, her eyes scanning the room as though weighing which spot was safest.
"He grew up without a mother," I shrugged. "I have a... tender spot for kindred souls."
"What happened to her?" she asked.
The smile on my lips faded.
"Treason," I said simply.
She looked like she was going to say something but kept the question to herself instead.
I exhaled slowly, remembering that day all over again... The boy's cries... His limp body after fainting next to the throne... And my sword... Covered in my own blood after I cut myself and smeared the boy's face to fabricate his death.
I was lucky he grew up without any memories.
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