Chapter 32 Aura #2
His question should rattle her, causing her to reflect on everything that has transpired since they met on his ship in the Toftlund harbor. Yet, only heavy despair falls over her, nearly forcing her to the ground at his tiny feet.
What if I never awake in his arms again?
With a hard swallow against her emotions and blinking back the tears threatening to spill, she nods curtly. There will be a time to confront the truth that Calder conceals from her, but that time is not now. Besides, she is not yet ready to face the reality she knows deep within her soul.
Fitz kicks the ground. “Get him into my home. I’ve got work to do.”
Aura scrambles back to Calder’s side and helps Helga lay him inside the one-room shack still assembled for an adult-sized man before vacating.
After Fitz shoos everyone from his workspace, Argnier leaves the shack to ask Edmund for a drink.
Aura collapses on the ground with her head between her legs while Helga leans stoically against a tree.
“Hey, cousin?” Edmund approaches Aura. “Want some mead?”
“Give me some fucking space, Edmund!” Her tension from the temple funnels into her concern over Calder’s fragile state, erupting in an outburst that leaves her sobbing.
Before anyone can intervene, she stomps down to the small dock by the bank.
Sure, she has questions about Fitz, but there is only one man on her mind, and his life lies in the balance of a godsdamn weasel!
She settles on the edge of a dock that looks like one good gust of wind will send it straight to the Depths.
She swears she hears whispers in the back of her mind—Briny and Maeve calling to her from the presence of the Treland Sacred Stone.
Ultimately, she pockets the nautilus shell while watching the moon set over the small lake formed by the channel. Makt’s great axe rests across her lap, its power pulsating beneath her fingers as she strokes the jagged edge.
In the quiet of the night, tears continue to flow as she admits the truths in her heart that she cannot bear to speak. To think she thought her life finally made sense. Her internal compass was pointing toward the Iss Drengr, and his toward her.
What will it mean for their journey if he is who she believes him to be?
“Aura?” Helga steps onto the dock, still in full armor. “May I sit with you?”
She nods without looking her way.
The vísir joins her on the pier with a sigh, peering up at the moon. “I do not recall the last time I had a spare moment to reflect on the beauty of the continent. And gods, I’d give anything to share a mead in Salt once more.”
“My parents speak highly of your courage. Mother thought your affection lay with Father, and I fear her guilt still plagues her sometimes.” Aura says thickly, wiping away her tears as she twists to see Helga watching her with a sad smile.
“No one understood my sentiment for Thrain.” She glances at her lap. “Yes, he was cruel, and yet I felt in my bones, in my very being, that I could save him from himself. Sometimes, he would touch me with all the love in the world. And dammit did I feel validated.”
She sighs, returning her beautiful brown eyes to Aura. “Your father and I fought for winters over my love of Thrain. He almost denied me my Drengr spot, fearing I would betray him. Yet he still fought to save my life even as Thrain slit my throat.”
A slight smirk tugs at Aura’s lips. “That sounds like Pops.”
“You and Calder, huh?” Helga nudges her arm. “Does Sig know?”
Aura shakes her head and relays some of their first meeting and their current quest. Helga raptly listens, nodding slowly.
“Out of everything from becoming a vísir, there is one person I miss more deeply than a horn of mead.” Helga holds a faint emotion concealed in her gaze. Otherwise, her shoulders remain tall, courage permeating her being.
“Sigvid Thordsson is a lot of things.” Helga continues. “He is gruff, angry, and the most focused individual I have ever met. But,” she holds up a hand, “he will dismantle the heavens if you are someone he loves.”
Aura grips the axe's shaft. Accepting his traits in her heart leaves only a lingering ache, as the only words she can connect with her father come from the carriage.
“You are not his child.”
“Yes, which means he will go harder for you. Aura, your fire is unique and burns with the strength of both your parents, who I never thought I would see again. Seeing you is a rare gift.”
Aura perks at her sentiment. Surely, as a vísir, Helga rests her head in an afterlife–likely the Depths, where she will one day greet Father again.
“You, like them, are your own person. You have so much yet to accomplish. Do not weigh down those shoulders with Sig’s words spoken in anger.”
“But I still feel his disapproval-”
“I will never diminish that feeling, for I know it too well. Just know I loved your father as the brother the gods denied me. And the man I know would love his child regardless of her flaws.” Helga tilts Aura’s chin with her fingers.
“Wear your strength as armor. For your journey is still fraught with terrors.”
“Do not remind me, Helga.” Aura chuckles lightly.
“Lastly, I do wish to mention Calder. I read your runes and am concerned that he has kept something from you.”
Aura’s heart pounds in her chest, and she can guess what Helga is about to say, wishing beyond measure that she would stay silent.
“He and I trained together and pledged to Sigvid side by side. Yet, my loyalty, even in Death, is to my Lord Commander. And that man would want his daughter to know everything.”
Helga inhales, and suddenly, a bright light explodes around her. She curses at the timing.
“Calder Avardsson lives, Aura! And I am now summoned back to the Depths to await the call of the Norn.” Her wings flap, and she lifts from the dock, her Drengr medal clanking against her chest piece.
“Trust yourself. And tell your mother my anger for her was only jealousy for what I could never have with Thrain.”
The light embraces Helga until she vanishes, leaving a single black feather beside Aura’s hand.
October 9, Year 21, 10th Era
Fitz’s Home, Skalor
Aura lies in the barn, listening to her companions’ sleep. She curls against Makt’s axe, yet slumber evades the Princess. Her mind spins with Helga’s words, especially her attempted final warning of Calder.
Once the sun's rays tickle her cheek, she slips down to the lake and bathes, securing Helga’s vísir feather in a braid at her temple. After a stop in town for fresh-baked bread and crispy bacon, she returns to the barn to find her cousin and great-uncle stirring.
Setting breakfast on a workbench, she clears her throat, drawing narrowed expressions. “Calder is alive, and Helga has returned to the Depths. I was a tad senseless last night. I apologize.”
Argnier nods. “We all say things in distress.”
Edmund huffs but acquiesces with a curt shake of his head.
Relief floods her veins at the acceptance of her apology. She could not continue on this venture if they thought less of her.
When she arrives at Fitz’s shack, he steps out onto the porch with a thimble of tea.
“He lives, halvgud. I suppose you wish to speak with the patient?”
Aura ignores the comment on her lineage and steps around the mink into the one-room shack.
Calder lies on a giant table, his legs covered in a myriad of furs. His clothes appear to have been removed, likely by Argnier, who remained to help.
Deep veins of blue seidr scar each arm with a few on his face. She traces the ones traveling down his chest and legs to his feet. A faint glow emanates from the gouge.
Movement pulls her up to his face as he turns toward her.
“Aura?” Her heart melts at the weakness in his voice.
All her frustration and uncertainty evaporate.
The only person who matters is the Iss Drengr.
Her knuckles drag along a nasty gash of luminous cerulean. “You destroyed the drauger and froze the mountain.” She perches at his side. “How do you feel?”
“Like the temple was dropped on me.”
She places her hand over his heart, wanting to ask the burning question Helga tried to impart before she left. Yet, she is terrified, against all reason, to have it confirmed. “I fought a vísir.”
His brows raise. “Run that by me again?”
“Gullveig seems to have determined that your soul was prepared for the Depths and sent a vísir to guide you onward. I confronted her. It turns out she is an old friend, Drengr Helga.”
“Helga?” His eyes gaze up at the ceiling of the shack, as his mind replays memories from before Aura was even born. “Anything else I missed?”
Aura nibbles her bottom lip without meeting his gaze as she relays her interaction with the Drengr.
All except for their last conversation.
“Helga and I pledged the Drengr oath together. She was an exceptional warrior, even if she allowed Thrain to manipulate her.”
“She did not seem eager to leave the mortal realm.”
Emotion wavers in his expression, as he undoubtedly reflects on a simpler time in his life.
Calder scratches his head. “I froze the mountain?” He changes the subject as he lies back. “My head is killing me. But I need to rise. We need to move.” He tries to push himself upright, but she gently presses him back onto the makeshift cot.
“We will chart our course tomorrow morning.”
She grits her teeth, her heightened awareness burning on her cheeks. After Isabel, she vowed never to allow betrayal to sting her again. And yet, as he readjusts, she reflects on the uncertainty since their first meeting and knows one thing is certain.
Calder Avardsson is lying to her.