22. Leviathan
LEVIATHAN
It was past midnight when we returned from the run.
We’d all gotten caught up in the camaraderie that came from running as a pack.
June and the children had all gone to bed already.
The fact that I didn’t get the chance to say goodnight sent a burning sadness through my chest. I shuffled off to my cabin, falling into bed, exhausted but unable to sleep with thoughts of June running through my head.
I remembered the look in her eyes right before we’d gone into the woods. That melancholy at being left out. I usually saw that look in young ones who had yet to shift for the first time.
When I finally awoke after two or three hours of fitful sleep, I decided it was time to work on teaching June to shift again. Maybe enough time had passed that she wouldn’t be so tense anymore.
On the walk over, my mind played over some of the other things she’d learned. Those carnal, intimate lessons I hoped I’d get to give more of. Though, maybe we’d need to wait on that until she could shift. Maybe.
When I got to the cabin, she was nowhere to be found. In fact, it looked like everyone was gone. Checking my watch, I realized they would all either be at breakfast or out doing chores.
I went to the dining cabin, where the chatter of voices could be heard from outside. This was the next best place to find her. What I found when I opened the door, however, was not what I’d expected.
The normal murmur of conversation was still prevalent, but there was a subdued nature to it. The reason for that quickly became clear. Most of the people here were watching some interaction play out on the opposite end of the dining hall.
June and Eugenia were facing each other.
“How pathetic is it to be twenty-seven years old and still unable to shift?” Eugenia said, her tone mocking.
I clenched my fists.
“Why does it matter to you whether I can shift or not? I’ve always wondered why shifters are bigoted toward people who can’t shift. What is it about us that scares you?”
“Scares? Oh, please,” Eugenia spat. “We would rather interact with people who aren’t so…” She looked June up and down, then sneered. “Below us.”
“Hey!” My voice boomed across the space, exploding like a grenade.
A deafening silence fell over everyone as every head turned toward me.
Eugenia quailed at the sight of me. She’d always been careful to make sure I only ever saw her sappy and sweet exterior.
Rainier had warned me about it, but I was always off in the woods, running through the forest. Now I’d seen it with my own eyes, and I would have no more of it, especially not when it came to June.
Every eye stayed glued on me as I stalked toward Eugenia. She couldn’t even meet my gaze. June, however, looked at me with a confusing combination of irritation and exasperation. Ignoring her for the moment, I turned my glare on Eugenia.
“What is this all about?” I snarled, still clenching my fists.
“Levi, I—”
“You’ll call me Leviathan, or sir,” I said.
Her face flushed red, and she still wouldn’t meet my eyes. Her usual group of friends had already stood, moving away from the table, putting space between themselves and their friend, probably scared of being caught in the heat of my anger.
“Leviathan,” Eugenia said slowly. “I was just having a conversation with Juniper.”
“A conversation?” I barked. “You were doing your best to be an asshole for no good reason.”
“Levi, I was handling this,” June said, speaking up for the first time since I arrived. “There’s no reason to—”
“Hang on, I’m not done. You’re going to apologize to June, Eugenia. Now.”
“Apologize?” The woman finally lifted her eyes to meet mine. The indignation in her voice only stoked my anger.
Leaning in close, I let a growl rumble up from my chest. “Did I stutter?”
Her lips pressed into a tight line, but I could already see her resolve crumbling beneath the angry glare of her alpha.
Finally, she turned to June. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” June said.
“No, it’s not,” I said. “That was a shit apology. Tell her why you’re sorry.”
Eugenia heaved a breath and then spoke again. “I’m sorry for making fun of you for not being able to shift. It was…small-minded of me, and uh…not appropriate.”
She sent a questioning look in my direction.
I nodded once and waved to the door. “Good enough. Get out of here. I think you’ve got some work to do, don’t you?”
“Yes, sir,” Eugenia mumbled as she hurried to the door, where she met up with her friends.
An awkward silence held for several seconds before low, subdued conversations began again. Turning back to June, I opened my mouth, but she was already walking to the door, her anger reflected in her gait. When she got to the door, she shoved it open.
“June?” I called after her. For a moment, I stood there, rooted in place. Why was she angry with me? After a few seconds of hesitation, I ran after her, ignoring everyone who was watching me.
Outside, I spotted her walking briskly toward her bunkhouse. I sprinted to catch up.
“June, wait,” I said, touching her shoulder.
She spun and glared at me. The fire in her eyes was beyond anything I’d thought her capable of.
“Why did you do that?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Do…uh…do what?” I could feel the dumbfounded expression forming on my face.
“In there,” she said, pointing at the dining hall. “I had that under control.”
“I never said you didn’t,” I said. “I wanted to make sure she knew what she was saying was unacceptable. I didn’t think—”
“I’m not helpless, Levi. I can stick up for myself without some man jumping in the first time it gets tough.”
This was not what I’d expected when I spoke up. I saw what she was saying, but I still thought I’d done a good thing stepping in.
“I’m not trying to belittle you, but I’m the Alpha, and she’s part of my pack. I have to reprimand her if I see her doing something like that.”
“I get that,” June said, “but you didn’t even give me a chance.
Don’t you think I might have been able to end it myself without you interfering?
Then you wouldn’t have had to get involved at all.
Plus, I could have gained some footing with her.
Maybe even gained a bit of respect so she didn’t look down on me anymore. You removed that chance by jumping in.”
My mouth opened to speak, but I had no words. What she said made perfect sense, and I suddenly felt like an asshole. In hindsight, I should have controlled my anger and let things play out, only stepping in if things had gotten out of control. Shit.
June must have seen the realization on my face. She shook her head slowly and sighed. “I need to go help Linnea in the greenhouses.”
She left me, and I stood there, contemplating what an idiot I was. Perhaps Rainier was right. Maybe spending so much time in my wolf form was making it harder for me to connect with people in a more human way.
Instead of following June to force the issue, I headed back to my cabin.
I went to my room, gingerly removed the painting of Naphele, then set it up in the living room.
Grabbing a beer from my fridge, I sat in front of the painting and stared at it while I drank.
Outside, the activity went on, but I stayed right where I was, wondering how much of my humanity had been lost since Naphele had died.
At the rate I was going, I might not ever know.