Juniper
“You look upset,” Linnea said as I flopped onto a chair beside her in the dining hall.
“You could say that,” I muttered.
My head was a whirlwind of emotions. The confusion I had about the situation was made all the worse by the never-ending whisper of my new inner wolf.
She wanted Levi as much as I did. She saw him for exactly what he was—her fated mate.
She didn’t understand the nuance of the situation because wolves operated on pure instinct and emotion.
“Did it go poorly?” Linnea asked, nodding toward the exit door.
“It’s bad,” I said, my voice almost a whisper. “I don’t know if I can stay here anymore.”
“Hang on,” she said and lifted a hand to wave at someone. “Hey! Can you come over here? I think we need another set of ears for this.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I felt an icy stab of embarrassment. Rainier was in line, grabbing a plate of food.
“No,” I hissed, reaching out to put Linnea’s hand down. “He’s Levi’s beta.”
“That’s why I called him over. If anyone can give you some insight, it’s him,” Linnea said.
It was too late anyway. Rainier was striding over to us, his black, bushy beard slightly ruffled.
“What’s up, guys?” he said, sitting down with his plate and a cup of coffee.
I sighed, feeling suddenly like a bug under a glass, something to be eyeballed and critiqued.
“Do you want to spill and let us help?” Linnea asked.
Rainier was giving me a knowing look. He probably understood the situation better than anyone other than me or Levi.
I leaned back, crossing my arms. I glanced around to make sure no one was nearby, then told them about my worries about Levi being hung up on Naphele, about part of the vision I’d had the night before—though I left out the murder, as it was too brutal to recount—and the conversation Levi and I had just had.
I also didn’t mention seeing Anders. For one thing, I thought Levi would be irate if he knew another alpha had not only invaded his territory but also made a play for his mate.
With the issues with the Red Maw, I didn’t think it was prudent to give him another enemy to focus on, and with Rainier here, that info would get back to him fast.
“So, what are you thinking?” Rainier asked bluntly. “What’s the plan?”
“If I can’t be sure Levi has fully put Naphele behind, then I think I’ll go back home,” I said. “Beg the alpha to take me back. I can shift now, which means that part shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”
I’d told Linnea about that revelation not long before we’d headed to breakfast.
“That guy was an asshole to you,” Linnea argued.
That much was true, but she hadn’t seen the way he was the other day.
He’d apologized, and I could sense how sincere he was.
It was as though Anders had become a whole new person.
He’d offered me what I’d wanted from the beginning: a chance to go home, to live my life with the people I loved.
Though, I’d begun to love the people in Hidden Grove too.
“Most of that was based on me not being able to shift,” I said, feeling a little dirty trying to justify Anders’s behavior.
“Sweetie,” Linnea said, putting her hand on mine. “I can’t see you settling for someone who treated you like that.”
“So I should settle for a guy who keeps wishing I’m someone else?” I snapped.
“Levi is a different kind of dude,” Rainier said, heaving a sigh. “He can be difficult, but there’s one thing I’ve noticed since you’ve been here. He’s not the same man he was.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, glancing at him.
“Before, he was always very cut and dry, black and white,” Rainier explained. “He carried himself with a… I don’t know… confidence. Since you arrived, that’s started to slip. I think you’ve chipped away at that whole alpha facade he’s built over the years.”
“Are you saying I’ve ruined him?” My anger surged at the thought. I’d done nothing wrong.
“Hang on,” Rainier said, holding a hand up.
“Just hang on. I’m not saying you did anything wrong.
What I’m telling you is that you managed to pull back that armor he’s worn for a century.
You did that without him really knowing whether you were Naphele’s reincarnation.
For a century, Levi hoped to find her again.
I even explained to him that should she return, she probably wouldn’t be anything like he remembers.
Still, he kept living as a wolf, extending his life to find her.
Nothing could divert him from that mission.
Until you. He’s spent more time in his human form the last month than he has in the decade I’ve known him.
“That’s not a bad thing, June. I think if you stuck around, you could show him how good life could be, that it would be okay to settle down and live a simple life with the woman he loves.”
Rainier’s words soothed my anger a bit. Levi was a little different from that perfectly stoic man I’d met in the cave by the fire. Had I really caused him to question so much that it made it hard for him to continue living the life he had before?
Part of me was flattered by that, but another part was horrified.
“Stay,” Linnea said, and I could hear the pleading tone in her voice.
“You’re part of this pack now,” Rainier said. “Levi needs you. I can see it in the way he looks at you every day. Please?”
I would have been lying if I said they weren’t making it even more difficult to choose.
Did I agree to go home and be with the man who’d never respected me, but was suddenly open to me being his mate?
A man who might grow to want me, especially now that I could shift?
Or did I stay with Levi? A man who might always be glancing at every woman who passed by, wondering if perhaps she was his long-lost love?
“I need to think,” I said, rising from the table so fast both Rainier and Linnea flinched.
Before either of them could call me back, I rushed out the door, and I kept running.
At the edge of the forest, I tapped into that deep part of my mind where my inner wolf now hid and gave control away.
The sensation was like a pleasant warm shimmer, going from my toes to my scalp, and in an instant, I was running on four paws. But what was I running toward?