Juniper
My breath stuttered out of me as Levi worked his tongue in and out of me, then glided it over my clit. Tiny electric ripples surged up into my stomach, and my heart thundered in my chest.
The physical pleasure was nothing compared to the emotional pleasure. When I’d looked into his eyes, I’d seen how honest and truthful he was. He did want me. The thought made my heart soar, and I gave myself over to him, let him envelop me in a bliss that would seal our connection forever.
Levi wrapped his lips around my clit and sucked, gently running his tongue in circles around it as he did. Blood welled in the tiny nub of flesh, making it even more sensitive. Pressure built and heat pulsed deep within me.
Levi slipped his finger into me, stroking my inner walls, grinding the pad of his finger against that sensitive spot that made my legs tremble.
Already, it felt like I might explode. I put my hands on his head, pressing him closer against me, urging him to move faster.
Levi groaned into my skin, and his fingers pumped in and out of me, his tongue flicking over my clit.
It was like we were made for each other.
Levi knew exactly what to do to drive me wild.
It was one more reason I wanted to be with him.
I needed him, had always been searching for him, and still I wanted more.
There would never be enough. The thought of doing this for the rest of our lives was like heaven.
“Fuck!” I cried.
My entire body clenched, the pressure building and building until a grenade burst within my pelvis.
I dug my fingers into his scalp, pleasure coursing through me.
Grinding my hips against his mouth, I had to force myself to take a breath, sucking it in with one long gasp as my body twitched and spasmed.
Basking in the glow of the climax, I ran my fingers over my chest. My entire body was so sensitive, alive with millions of little sparks.
Levi stood and quickly undressed, never taking his eyes off me.
I tugged at my nipples gently, enjoying the faint pull while eyeing every inch of the man before me.
Hard muscle, strong hands, and a face to die for.
A face I’d get to see every day for the rest of my life.
It still seemed like a dream. Part of me thought I’d wake up any second, covered in snow and seconds from death out in the wilderness, the last few weeks having been nothing but a fantasy.
Levi spread my legs and slipped into me, shattering any thought that this was nothing but a dream.
I moaned at the stretch, the throbbing heat of his cock.
The sensation of having a part of him inside me nearly made me come again.
Instead, I reached forward, resting my hands on his shoulders, and wrapped my legs around his ass, pulling him into me.
“You feel so fucking good, June,” he grunted as he thrust hard into me.
My breasts bobbed and swung each time he filled me, his body rocking against mine.
Mid-thrust, he lowered his head and sucked my nipple into his mouth.
The double sensation was almost more than I could take.
So much stimulation, so much pleasure. I cradled his head against my chest, giving myself to him, body and soul, allowing him to take me in any way he wanted.
Pulling his lips away, he grunted with exertion, fucking me harder and faster, his hips crashing into me with each movement.
“Make yourself come again,” he hissed, moving my hand between us.
I whimpered as I rubbed my clit, which was still swollen from the first orgasm, but already aching for release again. The combination of his cock and my fingers made me dizzy with desire.
“I love you, Juniper,” he whispered.
Tears stung the back of my eyes—tears of joy and hope. With my free hand, I wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close, and pressed my lips to his ear.
“I want to feel you come inside me.”
He let out a hungry growl and moved even faster. My own orgasm was surging forward, urged on by my hand and the steady pulse of him sliding in and out of me.
“I’m gonna come,” I said, hardly able to catch my breath. Levi groaned in response.
A shiver started in my feet and my legs jerked. I clenched down around him as pleasure burst through my entire body. I cried out, wrapping my arms around him, and still he thrust into me. Gasping, I bit down on his shoulder as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me.
When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, Levi let out a long, low groan as he spilled inside me.
He collapsed on top of me, panting to catch his breath.
He pressed a kiss to my shoulder as he rolled off me.
Levi wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close, burying his face in the nape of my neck.
A few seconds later, his breathing became the slow, steady, deep rhythmic breaths of sleep.
I dozed for a bit too, basking in the sunlight that streamed through the windows. When I woke, Levi had rolled onto his back, still breathing deeply. His eyes moved beneath his lids, jerking back and forth. He was dreaming deeply. I smiled, wondering what life with him would be like.
“Naphele,” he muttered under his breath. “I need you.”
My smile died on my lips. Levi grunted and snored lightly.
He was still completely asleep, yet the words had come.
He was dreaming of her. Crushing devastation crashed into me.
I sat up slowly, feeling the first tear slide down my cheek.
I’d been ready to believe, and now this.
Levi had been telling the truth. He did want me, but his subconscious wasn’t ready to let go yet.
If this was what his mind was like now, after everything he’d said, what would it be like in a few years?
How did you change what someone wanted deep inside, in the darkest recess of their heart, where they didn’t even have full control?
The answer was simple. You didn’t. You couldn’t.
That wasn’t something anyone else could control. Only he could.
It felt as though an icy fist had clenched deep inside my chest. I glanced at my watch again.
Anders said he’d wait until sunset. I still had more than enough time.
A life with a man I didn’t truly love was better than a life where I’d always be second, never first, in the eyes of the man you did love.
It was honestly worse than being rejected.
This felt much worse than what Anders had done to me.
At least he’d done it while he was conscious.
I could blame him for it. This? Levi was asleep.
A deep and unyielding part of himself couldn’t let go of Naphele. It would always be there.
As quickly and quietly as I could, I dressed, holding back sobs.
I can’t do this, I thought as I tied my shoes.
It wasn’t fair to me or Levi. He had to figure this out for himself, and I couldn’t be here for it. I refused. I had no anger in my heart toward him, not anymore. In fact, my heart broke for him. I now understood what it was like to want someone so badly, but not be able to have them.
Leaning over the bed, I gazed at his face one last time, then kissed him softly.
I allowed my lips to linger on his for a few seconds, then turned and hurried out the door, forcing myself not to look back.
Closing the door quietly, I headed straight for the forest, not even bothering to grab my things from the bunkhouse.
I was too afraid to run into someone. Linnea, Rainier, or someone else would delay me.
I couldn’t risk Levi waking up and finding me gone.
I didn’t have the mental strength to tell him to his face that I was leaving him.
Even as I sprinted into the surrounding forest, I realized how cowardly I was being, but I couldn’t help it.
My heart was broken, and I didn’t want to prolong my suffering.
Maybe one day, when all the old wounds had healed, and Levi had finally found his beloved Naphele, I could come back and apologize to him and the others.
After a couple of miles, my tears were dry.
I finally stopped running and walked. I was making good time, and from the position of the sun, I was headed in the right direction.
I’d become better at navigation now that I could shift.
My inner wolf had some sort of innate ability to understand where to go and how to get there.
It was a hell of a change from the way I’d been before.
I thought about that as I walked. Anything to keep my mind off Levi and everything I was leaving behind.
I entered a small clearing on the outskirts of Idlewild. I knew the spot well. The old tree trunk I’d sat on when Levi kissed me years ago was still there. It was mostly rotten now, but it was still recognizable. Anders stood beside it, grinning when he saw me.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he said.
I shrugged helplessly, trying to hide my emotions. “I’m here. I’ve decided to come with you.”
“You have?” He took a step forward. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I held up my hand to stop him from approaching. “Hang on. There’s something you need to see.”
He tilted his head like a confused dog. “What do I need to see?”
Sighing, I tried to relax as I reached out to my inner wolf. “The thing you’ve wanted to see our whole lives,” I said.
Without any more preamble, I shifted into my wolf, landing on four legs. Anders’s eyes grew wide with shock, and his mouth dropped open. He looked absolutely ridiculous.
“I’ll be damned,” he said, and he actually sounded impressed. “That’s amazing. Are you ready to come back home?” he asked. “Back to where you belong?”
I hesitated for only a moment, then nodded my wolf head once. Anders’s smile widened.
“Your grandparents are going to be really excited,” he said. “Here, let me shift too. What better way for the alpha to return than with his gorgeous wolf mate next to him?”
I couldn’t shrug in this form. Instead, I simply stared back at him placidly, wondering why this didn’t feel as right as I’d hoped it would.
Anders shifted and approached me, running his muzzle along mine.
I allowed it, doing my best to push away all my old feelings for him the same way I was trying to push away thoughts of Levi.
Eventually, he turned and trotted in the direction of Idlewild.
I joined him, walking slightly behind as we made our way toward home.
A moment before we exited the clearing, a strange tickle worked its way into my mind, as if I was being watched.
I turned my head, then froze mid-step. Levi stood at the other end of the clearing, watching me go.
The look on his face was a mask of haunted confusion and heartbreak.
Shame and fear surged through me, and before he had a chance to even call out, I broke into a run, passing Anders.
He sped up to catch me. As we ran, my mind screamed out in sorrow, but I’d made my choice.
There was no going back now.