62. Juniper
JUNIPER
As I got ready for dinner at Anders’s house, all I could do was think of Levi.
While doing my hair, the conversation we had played out through my mind.
His voice echoed through my head until I had to set my brush down with a sigh.
I stared at my reflection, trying to think about how I felt about our last interaction.
The apology, which I truly hadn’t been expecting, had done something.
It had sort of smoothed things between us.
I could feel it, and I didn’t really know how to explain it otherwise.
As if there was this wall that had been erected between us with my leaving him, and now that had been torn down.
Okay, maybe not totally torn down, but there’d at least been a door or window added to the wall.
There was still the issue of him being in love with Naphele, as well as my betrothal to Anders.
Those two things wouldn’t allow anything more between us than friendship, but that might be nice too.
My wolf gave a sharp whine deep in my mind as I finished putting on mascara.
The thought of never being more than friends with Levi always sent her into an emotional tailspin.
Even now, after a couple weeks with Anders, she was still pining for Levi.
It was difficult to control her thoughts, as much as I wished I could.
In fact, she was so powerful, there were times I was worried she would completely override me and do something I’d have preferred not to do.
Like that kiss in the shop. No matter how much I told myself it had been wrong, I couldn’t really get the idea to sink in.
My inner wolf had loved it, had damn near gotten me to do more than just kiss.
The real issue was that a deep part of me had also wanted that.
Thinking about it now sent shivers of pleasure up my spine.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. That wasn’t going to happen. Never again. My wolf could yearn for him, but that would fade in time. If that upset her, then she’d have to get over it.
Though, I was on her side when it came to Anders.
Neither of us was sure he was really changing.
Was he nicer to me than he ever had been?
Sure. Of course, otherwise I never would have returned.
Was he still toxic, immature, and less than emotionally available?
That was putting it lightly. Tonight, we were having a cookout at his house with his closest friends.
So far, we’d only been around each other, and I hoped that by making a good impression on his buddies and getting them to see me as a good person and mate, they might get in his ear and help push him toward becoming a better person.
If not? The next forty or fifty years were going to be rough.
Rough, but I’d at least have my family and friends.
I said goodbye to my grandparents and headed outside. It was hard not to look out toward the direction Levi had departed in earlier, but I did. Instead, I shifted and took off running toward Anders’s place, arriving within five minutes.
The sun had gone down, but the weather wasn’t frigid, and outside a small bonfire had been lit that illuminated his house with flickering orange and yellow light. Brock Gurney, Anders’s beta, stood outside by the fire, tossing logs onto the fire. His broccoli-top hair bobbed as he did.
When he spotted me, he grinned and raised his beer. “Oh, damn, if it ain’t the new wolf girl. What’s up, baby? You want a beer?”
Not wanting to appear standoffish, I nodded and smiled at him. “Sure. That would be great.”
He snorted a laugh and pointed toward the house. “Cooler’s inside. I’m not a butler.”
A hot flush crept up my chest, and I gritted my teeth. He was as charming as ever.
“Gee, thanks,” I said as I walked past, my tone laced with sarcasm.
Brock belched and nodded, lifting his beer in salute. “No prob.”
Taking the steps, I glanced up to see the front door open and music playing from inside.
As I entered, I spotted his three other friends, Danny Blackmon, Carter Wallace, and Javen Greene.
All basically the same personality, stuck in high school forever, reliving their football glory days, and now mooching off the power and prestige of their buddy being the pack alpha.
I didn’t give them much of a glance as I stepped in.
What caught my eye, and sent a jagged and icy stab of shock through my heart, was the person standing beside Anders at the kitchen island.
Anders was shaking salt and pepper over a big tray of steaks, and right there, not even a foot away, grinning flirtatiously, was fucking Eugenia. My jaw fell open.
“What is she doing here?” I blurted before I even had time to think.
Anders looked up and smiled. “Hey! There you are. Welcome. Do you want a drink or anything?”
Eugenia glanced at me, and I could swear she gave me some sort of subtle wink. I took a few steps forward. Danny, a six-foot-six behemoth, backed away when he saw the look on my face, moving to join Carter and Javen at the far side of the room.
“I said, what is she doing here?” I pointed at Eugenia.
Anders glanced over, and if anything, his smile grew wider. “Eugenia? She’s here for the barbecue. She’s my guest.”
“I was invited,” Eugenia said, leaning forward and leveling her eyes on mine with practiced belligerence.
Anders lifted the tray and handed it to her. “Can you take that out to Brock? Tell him to start grilling them up; the baked potatoes will be ready in ten minutes.”
“Sure thing,” Eugenia said, giving Anders a flirtatious look as she strode past me.
The other three men hurried out after her, leaving Anders and I alone.
“What the fuck is she doing in your house, Anders?” I spoke the words through gritted teeth, trying as hard as I could to stay calm.
Anders’s smile finally faded, and his brow furrowed as he lifted a finger. “You need to watch the tone, chick.”
If he’d have slapped me, I don’t think I could have recoiled as quickly as I did from those words.
“Excuse me?” my eyes widened in surprise.
Anders pointed out the front door. “We’ve got guests, if you haven’t noticed. I think it’s impolite to argue about something dumb when they’re here.”
“Dumb? Anders, that woman tried to kill me.”
He snorted and shrugged. “Well…she didn’t, did she? What’s the big deal? She told me all about that. It’s water under the bridge. Come on, help me out. Grab the broccoli salad from the fridge.”
And just like that, he switched off and turned to check on the potatoes in the oven. I gaped at him. Too in shock to do more than obey, I walked to the refrigerator like a zombie and took out the giant bowl of salad.
The rest of the evening didn’t go much better.
Between the incessant sports talk, replay of past glories, and Eugenia’s presence, I was miserable by the end of the night.
The woman was openly flirting with my paired mate.
At one point, I returned from the bathroom to find her sitting on Anders’s lap.
Still trying to do what I could to salvage the evening, I sat on the couch beside Anders as we watched a ball game. Eugenia pointed at the screen and laughed as one of the players accidentally kicked the ball out of bounds.
“What a loser,” she said, then flicked her eyes toward me. “Dumbass. It’s like someone taking twenty-seven years to figure out how to shift.”
Flaming rage roared to life inside me, a brazier of shock and anger. I would have told her to go fuck herself, but Anders and all his friends chuckled along. Anders nudged me with his elbow, still grinning.
“Oh, come on, June, you know that’s funny. Who cares? It’s just a joke. Stop looking put out. Damn.” He shook his head and turned back to the TV, sipping at his beer.
Locking eyes with Eugenia, I watched with numb detachment as she lifted an eyebrow, and while never taking her gaze from mine, put her hand on Anders’ thigh.
Her fingers weren’t anywhere near his knee, but instead close to his crotch.
The sheer audacity of her actions threw me into a mental abyss of helplessness.
Anders was supposed to be my mate, the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.
He’d done and said all the right things to get me to come home and be with him, and after what happened with Levi, I was too emotionally distraught to think it was anything but a lifeline.
Now? After a few weeks of seeing his behavior and treatment toward me?
I was having a hard time talking myself into thinking I’d made the right choice.
Levi never would have allowed Eugenia to make a joke at my expense.
He never would have allowed another woman to flirt with him, especially not in front of his own mate.
Anders was not the man I wanted him to be, and I didn’t know if he ever would be.
As awful and terrifying as it was, I couldn’t stop wondering if perhaps I’d made a terrible mistake.
Throughout the rest of the evening, I stayed mostly silent, contemplating what I could do. Anders and I needed to have a major discussion, but not now, not while his friends and Eugenia were around.
Of course, she was still there when I left.
The only thing I could think of was the way he’d been pushing and pushing for us to have sex, and I kept putting it off.
Was Eugenia giving him what he couldn’t get from me?
That thought had me more pissed off than I should have been by the time I lay down in my bed late that night.
When my eyes slipped closed, though, it wasn’t Anders who was on my mind.
Instead, it was Levi. His kindness, his strength, and his gentle love.
A single word echoed through my mind as I slipped off to sleep.
Mistake.