Chapter 20
Isabelle
Oziel’s eyes pierce through me. This is my chance to snap back.
Tell him it’s not any of his damn business.
Part of me firmly believes Erin should be the first to know what I’ve done.
But another part of me, one that nags me to my very core, just wants to tell someone.
Make someone understand—that I did the only thing I could when no one else would.
I did something when the fucking police did nothing but defend an abusive asshole.
If anyone would understand where I’m coming from, it would be the demon king.
After all, he told me what he does to creatures that break the law.
I don’t see a difference between his torturing and my killing.
At least mine ended the suffering quickly…
though I wish that bastard suffered for days.
I wished he suffered in the same agonizing way my sister, and probably Erin, suffered.
I would have loved to hear his cries and pleas, knowing no one would be there to save him.
Oziel sucks in a deep breath, as if he smells something delicious. He then lets out a soft hum. “You smell positively delightful, Kitten. Care to share what dark thoughts going through your mind?”
“I’m not a monster.” The words tumble out before I can stop them, and they don’t stop. “I did what I had to. What no one else would do. And yet, I’m the one they label a monster.”
“In my experience, monsters don’t care if you think they are monsters. You are far from it, Miss Sinclair.”
“But I killed someone.” I don’t know why I say it. Maybe because I need him to see me for what I am. What I’m capable of doing when pushed to the extreme and have no other options at my disposal. “And I don’t regret it. I don’t seek redemption or forgiveness.”
Oziel’s expression doesn’t change. He stares at me with a mixture of curiosity and interest. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s also something akin to pride in his expression. “I see.”
His response is lackluster, and my body deflates. “That’s all? You have nothing else to say?” I’m not sure what I expected, maybe mild shock or horror, but definitely not acceptance.
Oziel shrugs. “Sounds like a normal Monday night, Kitten.”
I frown. “I killed him in cold blood.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
Despite myself, I laugh. Full belly laughs that leave me feeling breathless. Even Oziel smiles, a real genuine smile and not the damn smirk he usually wears. “Leave it to a demon to be okay with murder,” I finally manage to choke out.
Oziel’s eyes darken, but when I blink, it’s gone, and he’s back to smiling, making me think I just made up what I saw. “Some people deserve to be put to death. Others die too soon in life.”
I wait for him to say more, but Oziel purses his lips. There’s more he’s not saying. How many people has Oziel had to kill? Has he lost anyone he loved? Those questions have to wait because we’re talking about me now.
I find myself wanting to share. Erin would know soon enough, but there’s no harm in Oziel hearing it too. Despite our tumultuous relationship, he’s the only one who can see the sin and darkness in me and not shy away. I’ve never had that before. It’s…refreshing.
Even though I’ve accepted that I’ll tell Oziel the truth, I can’t stop my heart from beating wildly in my chest, threatening to burst from its confinement.
If Oziel hears it from his perch on the opposite side of the bed, he makes no comment.
His eyes—black voids with golden embers smoldering in their depths—never waver from me.
“I had an older sister named Anna,” I say, barely above a whisper.
I haven’t spoken about my sister in so long.
She’s a ghost that haunts me still—will probably forever haunt me.
I might not cry myself to sleep every night, but it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten her or that I’m suddenly fine with her passing. The grief comes in unexpected waves.
“Anna was kind. Sweet. She liked to read and go to weird cafes for tea. She was the best big sister ever.” I sniffle, holding back my emotions.
“But she was kind to a fault. The type of good that people exploit.
She had never really been in any long-term relationships, so when she told me she was dating James, a guy she met while working at a convenience store, I was a bit surprised by it.
“I didn’t know anything about the man. He never came around much, and when he did, he never stayed long. He always had his arm around Anna, like she couldn’t go anywhere without him.”
Oziel makes a disapproving sound but doesn’t interrupt.
“Anna started to change. It was small things at first. Getting scared when I approached her too fast. Spending hours in her room. Covering her face. We’d lost our parents, so admittedly, it took me longer to realize than it should have.
I’m sure my mother would have picked up on it a lot sooner…
” I mumble the last part. Our mother was always good at picking up when things were wrong.
As a child, I thought it was annoying, but as an adult, I think it was her superpower.
“When I finally confronted Anna, she broke down and started crying. That’s when she told me about the abuse.
I saw the bruises on her, Oziel. They were all over her body.
She also told me he was dating someone else and had been for a long time.
Years, even. Anna only found out about it when she caught him at the bar with another woman. Her name was Erin.”
“Ah,” Oziel says at last, connecting the dots I’ve carefully crafted for him. “This is why you are interested in speaking to the Kraken queen.”
“Kinda, but not for the reasons you think,” I admit.
“My sister was devastated. She tried leaving him a few times, but it always ended badly. She felt trapped. Like nothing she could do would ever free her from him. I think James might have threatened to hurt me. It’s the only thing I can think of as to why she would stay with him for as long as she did.
“Then one night, I got home late from work. Traffic was terrible because we were experiencing a massive rainstorm. Anna was usually in her room, so I didn’t think it was weird that the house was quiet when I got home.
I made myself dinner, watched TV, before finally going upstairs.
I was tired, so tired from work, but I wanted to check on Anna—just to let her know I was home. But when I opened the door…”
The day is forever etched in my brain. The coldness of the house.
The all too quiet silence. A heaviness clung to the house; one I didn’t notice until it was too late.
Maybe I could have saved her. Who’s to say?
I’ve beaten myself up over it for so long.
I don’t know how long she had been there.
If I would have gone straight to her instead of eating and watching TV, then maybe…
“When I opened the door, I found Anna face down on her bed. Her room smelled heavily of vomit, and I ran to her, but she was so cold to the touch. Her skin had turned this awful blue color. That’s when I noticed the pills—” A sob tears through my body at the same time Oziel reaches for my hand.
It’s a small, gentle touch. But it gives me something to focus on other than my own grief.
It’s an anchor in a rough sea of emotions.
“She took her own life,” I finally manage to get out. “I think she felt it was the only way to free herself of James. James may not have physically murdered my sister, but I blame him for her death. Her death is on his hands.”
“He killed your sister.” Oziel speaks the words with such conviction, I tip my head up.
He’s the only one who has ever believed me without question.
He’s resolute in his words, the tension in his jaw the only indicator of his fury.
Funny how I can read these little signs after a short period with him.
“For months leading up to my sister’s death, we went to the police to make reports of the physical abuse James put her through,” I say.
“The emotional abuse wasn’t much better, but that didn’t leave marks, so there was little we could do.
They only cared about the physical marks, but even then, they always had a way of doubting the victim. ”
It was always the same story. James is a good guy. Do you really want to hurt his reputation? How can we believe you didn’t get those marks from someone else? Isn’t he dating a woman named Erin?
“And not a single cop did anything. This went on for months, until Anna died,” I whisper.
“These are the people meant to protect humans?” Oziel asks, reminding me we come from different worlds. I nod, looking down at our clasped hands. Then Oziel places a finger under my chin, tipping up my head, so I’m forced to meet his gaze. “Tell me how you killed him, Kitten.”
There’s a wicked gleam in his eyes, like hearing this story is intoxicating to him. Maybe it is.
When he drops his hand from my chin, I’m instantly transported back to the day. “I drove myself to the corner store because I knew James stopped there every morning for beer. I arrived before him, but it didn’t take long until I saw his mud-covered truck pull into an empty parking spot.
“I remember my hand tightened around the gun—”
“Gun?” he interrupted.
Again, our differences elude me until now. “It’s a deadly weapon.”
Oziel seems far too invested in a gun. I wouldn’t be surprised if, by next month, he has designed his own version of one. But he nods for me to continue, falling silent so I can finish my confession.
“He had no clue I was there, holding a gun to his back. I wanted him to see my face when I pulled the trigger, so I called his name. When he turned and saw the gun, the bastard fucking laughed like it was some sort of joke. Like I was just some random girl he could easily manipulate into handing him over the gun.”
“Seems like this pathetic excuse of flesh didn’t realize he was facing the demon queen,” Oziel interjects.
I feel my cheeks heat. “I wasn’t the demon queen back then. I was just Isabelle.”
“You’ve always been the demon queen.” His words are unwavering, like they are some known fact etched into stone. He takes what I say as the truth—which it is—and instead of passing judgment, he simply listens. “Continue.”
So I do. “I pulled the trigger. It was loud. My ears rang, and the world shifted to slow motion. The bullet hit James square in the chest, where his heart would be if he had one. Blood bloomed like a crimson flower around the entry point. Then our eyes connected. Just for a brief moment, but that was all it took for recognition to dawn on his face. He remembered me. Remembered my sister.”
And the story is out. Every detail of the day will forever be painted on my memory. An echo of the past and the reminder that I’m capable of taking life. Despite not regretting what I’ve done, I need for him to understand why I did it. To understand I had no other option.
“I had to kill him,” I whisper. The words feel heavy between us.
Silence.
My demon husband tilts his head slightly, his long fingers drumming lazily against my palm. “Say that again.” His voice is velvet, dark and laced with intrigue.
I force myself to look at him, which isn’t hard. I’m drawn to him, hypnotized by the demon in front of me. The attraction has been there since I arrived but has only heightened after our marriage. No matter how much I fight it, my body calls to him in a way it hasn’t called to anyone before.
“The man who hurt my sister.” My throat tightens, but I push through. “He’s dead. I made sure of it. I killed him and watched his blood stain the concrete. Watched as the life went out of his eyes. I did it for my sister. Maybe even Erin too. That’s why she needs to know what I did.”
Still no anger. No horror. No disappointment. Only a slow, creeping smile curling his lips.
Seconds pass us by before Oziel rises from the bed with a languid grace, stepping toward me.
Every movement, every breath of his presence is predatory, but not toward me.
When he reaches me, he crouches down. The mighty demon king on his knees before me is a magnificent sight that spreads heat throughout my body.
Oziel reaches out, his claw-tipped fingers brushing against the inside of my wrist, where my pulse still pounds rapidly. Not only for what I just revealed, but for the very king before me.
“I wondered how long it would take you,” he murmurs, reverence in his voice.
My breath stills. “You already knew?” Did Ender tell him? Did his abilities as king and a demon give him insight into my crimes?
His chuckle is low, rich with dark amusement. “Not the specifics, no, but I did know you harbored darkness inside you. I sensed it the moment I saw you. I’ve been waiting for you to embrace it, Kitten. Stop running from it. Command it.”
My lips part, but no words come.
I smell sin on you.
He’s known me, the real me, this whole time, and not once has he shied away. That has to mean something.
“You have done what weak men could not,” he continues, hand sliding up to cup my jaw, tilting my face to his.
I don’t try to pull away or break contact.
His eyes burn, filled with something almost tender.
“You have protected your own. Taken what justice refused to give, and for that, you should be proud. This is what makes you a queen, Isabelle.”
A shudder passes through me, not from fear but from the overwhelming relief that rushes through my veins. But also something else. Something that ignites my body, making me feel things toward my demon husband. Things I haven’t felt in such a long time. It is terrifying.
He rises and presses a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin, like it’s the most natural thing in the fucking world. His words take my breath away. “You are more mine now than ever.”
His.
I don’t like being a possession. But the way Oziel said that makes me feel like an equal. I do the only thing I can…the only thing that will keep my sanity.
I push him away. I fucking hate that I do, but my ability to keep a wall between us is rapidly deteriorating, and I fear what will happen if I let it crumble completely.
Oziel doesn’t fight me, simply steps back and puts some distance between us. There’s a knock on the door, drawing his attention. “Food is here. I shall leave you to it, Kitten.”
I don’t get time to react because, in the next moment, Oziel is gone, swallowed up by shadows as his bedroom door opens and a demon rolls in a cart of food. She sets it in front of me and leaves just as silently as she came in.
I’m alone. After spilling my heart out to my husband. I can’t bring myself to regret my decision to tell him. I needed someone to know. The only thing I regret is pushing him away. As I eat the food placed in front of me, his words replay over and over again in my mind.
You are more mine now than ever.