Chapter 39
Isabelle
Idon’t let the guards come in when I enter Oziel’s study.
No one needs to see him like this. I only allow Allarick and Erin to join me because I don’t want to be alone at this moment.
Just staring up at the large statue of my husband nearly brings me to my knees.
It would have if Erin wasn’t there to hold me up when my legs buckled.
“I got you,” she whispers, and once again I’m struck with amazement at how far this woman has come.
This isn’t the same Erin from Grym Hollow.
Her gaze is strong, fierce, but friendly.
She holds herself like the queen she is.
“I know this is hard. I was in your position not so long ago. I thought I lost Allarick.”
“How did you get him back?” My voice is soft, sounding much more like a scared little girl than the demon queen. Oziel would want me to stand tall and regal, but he’s not fucking here, so I don’t give a damn what he thinks. I didn’t realize how much I relied on him until he was taken away from me.
“My love for him combined with a bit of stubbornness.” She smiles. “I had help from the other queens of Mescos, who are both from Grym Hollow as well. They helped me when I needed them the most, and I want to be the same support for you. Do what you think needs to be done.”
I nod once, and soon Erin pulls away from me, taking a step back.
She’s here, but she also wants to give me my space, which I appreciate.
I take a step closer, looking up at the anger in Oziel’s eyes.
Even in stone, he looks powerful and otherworldly.
I reach up, pressing my hand to his cold cheek.
I hate the way he feels. He should be warm, his skin hot to the touch.
With a trembling hand, I lift the vial, its contents sloshing gently inside. The liquid glows a deep red. The river water looks to be tainted with blood, shimmering with flecks of gold that catch the dim light. I collected as much as I could, praying it would be enough. It has to be enough.
Before unscrewing the cap, I scan the room and spot a sturdy wooden chair in the corner.
I drag it in front of Oziel, its legs scraping against the floor, then climb onto it.
I need the extra height. If this is going to work, I need to pour the potion directly over his head, letting every drop seep into him.
Tilting my hand, I let the River Hel pour over Oziel. Water, way more than it seems like this vial can hold, wets the statue. The stone’s gray hue darkens, and energy ripples around him. It’s nearly overpowering.
I wait with bated breath for the change to happen. For stone to make way for flesh. For gray eyes to turn gold. For his lips to curl up into a smirk and say something that will have me rolling my eyes.
I wait a minute. Then another. I wait for a breath. A word. Anything. I don’t even blink because I don’t want to miss a single second. But Oziel remains unmoving. He’s no less a statue than he was a moment ago.
I failed.
A strangled cry leaves my lips, and I bring my fist down hard on his stone chest. It hurts, but the pain of losing him hurts more.
“Isabelle…” Erin says my name softly from behind me, but I can’t look at her right now. Because she’s standing next to her husband, while mine remains lost to me.
I slam my fists against his chest again and again, my knuckles splitting open against the unyielding stone of his skin. The pain barely registers because nothing could hurt worse than this. Than losing him. Than knowing he’s gone.
“I fucking hate you!” I scream, my voice raw, cracking under the weight of my grief.
I don’t care that I have an audience. I don’t care that I look like a madwoman, throwing a tantrum over a man who will never hear me again.
I don’t care about anything except the unbearable ache hollowing out my chest, breaking my heart into unfixable fragments.
“I told you I didn’t want to love you! You didn’t want to love me either, remember?
We fought it. We swore we wouldn’t. But guess what, asshole?
” My breath hitches as tears blur my vision.
“I love you. I fucking love you. And I hate how much I love you. I hate how much you matter to me. How much you changed me. And now you’re just… gone.”
A sob rips from my throat as I press my forehead against his chest, my fingers curling uselessly against his lifeless hand. “Fuck you, Oziel,” I whisper, the words breaking apart as they leave me, my tears falling freely down upon him. “Fuck you for making me love you… and fuck you for leaving me.”
The room falls into silence, my anger swallowed by the crushing weight of my grief.
I don’t know how long I stay like this. How long my tears fall. I feel like they are never-ending. A gentle, feminine hand touches the center of my back. I don’t need to turn to know it’s Erin. She sniffles as if crying herself. “We will keep trying. Come. Let’s get you down.”
I want to argue with her. Tell her there’s no use in trying, because this should have worked.
Tell her how I don’t want to get my hopes up again.
But I don’t say any of those things because I’ll either take my anger out on her, which she doesn’t deserve, or become a sobbing mess… well, more of a sobbing mess.
Like a zombie, I let Erin help me off the chair and allow her to steer me toward the door.
I feel like I’m walking through heavy snow, each step harder than the last. Or maybe that’s just my failure weighing me down.
I want to lie in bed and sleep until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Until I can mend my broken heart.
Erin’s hand is on the door, fingers curled around the handle, ready to push it open, when a soft sound breaks the silence—a faint scattering, like pebbles tumbling to the floor.
My entire body locks up, every muscle tensing.
A chill runs down my spine, and for a moment, I’m trapped in place, frozen in time.
I can’t move. I can’t even bring myself to turn around. I’m not even sure I’m breathing. The air in the room feels heavier, charged with something unseen yet undeniable.
Then, a deliberate throat-clearing slices through the quiet, sending a shiver through me. I’m left wondering if this is a dream.
“Kitten,” a voice I never expected to hear again purrs, smooth as velvet. “Leaving so soon?”