Chapter 15
Phin
After I’d reassured both Hailon and Merry that I was perfectly steady on my feet, they’d taken me back outside for some fresh air.
I’d only had a handful of episodes since my arrival at the crossroads, and they’d all been fairly easy to manage.
A few minutes, frozen with deals in my hand in the library was far nicer than standing out in the frigid cold of the churchyard.
Even my ability to think and speak clearly had improved.
I supposed I’d been due a bigger one, but the situation couldn’t have been more mortifying.
The odd pair of birds had followed, circling above us as we toured Merry’s vegetable beds and flowers, her voice soothing as she listed the names and possible functions for everything she had planted.
I appreciated that she had such enthusiasm for ensuring that not only was everyone well fed, but that there was beauty year-round.
The climate of Ravenglen was not all that different to Vincara, and the plants in both Merry’s and Hailon’s gardening beds reminded me of the smaller one my mother kept outside our home in the forest. The ones at the church, sadly, suffered from my less than green thumbs, though the herbs usually did okay as they required very little attention.
I turned my face into the sun again, reveling in it while I could.
“Is it alright if I touch you, Phin?” Hailon asked quietly, her hand hovering above my shoulder.
Her kind expression left me nodding. “There’s a feather, just here, but I need to adjust your collar.
This coat …” She quirked her mouth and focused, tugging on something at the back of my neck with one hand and holding my shoulder with the other.
A burst of warmth rushed across my skin where her hand rested, even through the heavy fabric. She caught my eye and smiled, keeping contact while presenting me with yet another breakthrough feather.
“There we are. So pretty. Matches your hair.”
I took it from her, copying Tap and threading it through the buttonhole on the outside breast pocket of my coat. “Thanks.”
“Sure.” Her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry if this is forward, but would you mind if I use my gift to see if there’s any healing you need?
You won’t hurt my feelings if you say no,” she said calmly.
“It’s just that I’ve never tried with anyone angelic before, I’m honestly really curious if it will work any differently, especially considering how we react to one another. ”
I glanced over to find Merry casually fussing over her plants, not paying attention to us but likely still hearing everything.
“I don’t see what the harm could be.”
“I’ll be quick.”
My shoulder warmed a little more under her touch as her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side. Her face went through several emotions, but she remained silent.
“Her gift has gotten very well trained in the last little while.” Merry nodded, presenting me with a small bouquet of winter wildflowers she’d picked and tied together with a bit of string. “Some sunshine to take back with you.”
“Thank you.”
“Must be strange to live somewhere with no sunlight?”
“It isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Tap has set up the windows so they get brighter and darker like they would if we were elsewhere.”
“Really? That’s clever.”
“Did you ever notice the ceilings? Or that the walls sometimes don’t look solid?”
Merry nodded. “I couldn’t put my finger on it for the longest time because I was mostly in the one library and it has a ceiling. But coming and going from the hall with everything open does make the space seem really … boundless. It definitely takes some getting used to.”
I nodded, relieved that she understood what I meant. “Yes, that’s it exactly.”
Hailon made a small noise in her throat. “Sorry to interrupt. Phin, what does it feel like before you have an attack?”
I swallowed, unsure if my heart was suddenly pounding because I was nervous or because I was about to have another episode.
“It usually starts with my heart. Sometimes it beats so fast I can’t breathe, other times it’s like it’s stuck in my throat instead of my chest.” I lifted my hand, resting my palm against the beat.
“Occasionally it’s like it’s stopped and has to restart.
My fingertips go numb. I lose control of my muscles. ”
“That sounds terrifying.” Hailon’s tone was full of sympathy but missing the pity I expected.
“It is.”
Merry came to stand at my side and wrapped both of her hands around the one of mine that held the bouquet.
“When I was stuck inside my own head, I couldn’t even make my eyes open when I wanted them to most of the time. Everything was too heavy. Is it like that? Like you’re underwater, and everything is impossible to lift or move?”
“Yes.” Tears sprang to my eyes against my will, the genuine nature of these kind women taking me by such surprise I didn’t know quite what to do with myself.
“Well,” Hailon exhaled and patted my shoulder before dropping her hand.
“You’re quite healthy, Phin. But your heart does have a …
flaw? Maybe damage. I can’t really tell which, organs are very complex.
Not that it matters, but it’s perhaps part of the reason for what happens.
And your throat and vocal cords are very irritated.
I could maybe help with those things, but I don’t have to do anything today.
And we can recommend other healers if you want another opinion. ”
“Does the dust bother you too?” Merry’s face scrunched up.
“I’m terribly allergic. It makes me sneeze, itch, and get terrible headaches.
I suspect it’s more to do with the paper in the old contracts than the crossroads itself, but it’s definitely better when I work on the documents from here instead. ”
Several thoughts all sprang up, demanding attention at the same time. Because I couldn’t sort them out, my words also got tangled when I tried to answer. I opened my mouth, but only some vague noises came out.
“Not allergic,” I managed.
I shook my head, then nodded, trying to convey that while I didn’t doubt Hailon’s abilities, I wasn’t sure I was ready to do anything drastic. Not to mention that I had a pretty good idea what had happened to cause the damage.
Hailon and Merry glanced at one another.
“Well. You think on that, okay?” Merry still held my hand between hers, and without a word they had steered me back toward the office. “For now, let’s get back inside where it’s warm. I’ve maybe got a book or two we could peek at for other suggestions.”
“There’s no rush on anything, Phin. Just know that I’m here if you’d like me to try.”
I bobbed my head, the hot tears back again. I had no idea how I’d been pulled from a life where I was invisible into one where I was freely given so much attention, but I was grateful.
Once we got settled back in the cozy little office, Merry and Hailon held a whole conversation by themselves while still making me feel as though I’d been included. My nods and hand gestures were somehow enough for them to clearly understand what I was trying to convey.
Merry took back my flower bundle and plunked it into a little cup of water on the small table that sat to one side of the sofa.
Books were pulled from her shelves and flipped through, more tea made and drank, and copious notes written on a piece of parchment, all while I sat, stared, and marveled at how interested they were in trying to fix whatever was wrong with me.
“I’ll take this to Greta.” Hailon patted the pocket that contained her sheet of notes. “She’s got the best resources for this kind of thing. Lovette may know something too, I’ll see if I can get out to the conclave to chat with her. And Rylan is also a healer, so you’re in good hands.”
“The best.” Merry nodded in agreement, her red curls bouncing. “What happened to me nearly broke my mind completely, and these people and their amazing gifts set me to rights.”
I tried to mentally file all the new names they were saying, but it wouldn’t really matter until I actually met the people they belonged to. Faces helped me retain names far better than descriptions.
As they were chatting and I was trying to focus on getting my tongue to work right again, I heard a sound that made me freeze.
“Did you hear that?” Merry jumped to her feet and opened the stained glass window.
As though they’d been waiting, the birds ducked in.
“A little space, if you please,” she requested, elbowing her way through the middle of them, peering around, trying to find the source of the sound.
“Lots of creatures live here in the glade, but dogs are few and far between. Actually, there aren’t any at all that I’ve seen, not since the creatures all gathered before I took my place as Keeper.
” As if just realizing what she said, her brown pinched.
“Cats either, actually. The only one I know is Calla’s Morticia.
That’s odd, isn’t it? Oh.” She turned to face the door just as it was pulled all the way open by a massive man with long dark hair.
Before he could step inside, a sleek black hound passed him up and came straight to me.
Throat tight, I found the only word I needed. “Ramsey?”
Mistress! You’ve grown so beautifully. A whine came from the hound’s throat as she rested her chin on my knee, her tail wagging fiercely.
A laugh burst from me and I slid off the sofa cushions to the floor, wrapping my arms around her neck, and let her lick my cheek, not caring that we had an audience.
“I really do hear you,” I whispered, still clinging to the animal I believed I’d never see again, the one I’d last said farewell to after I’d been handed off to Father Morton. She’d promised to return after looking into a lead on the people I was being hidden from, and I’d never seen her again.
After lamenting the loss of my parents and my companion to Father Morton, I’d been convinced that all of the conversations we’d had in my head since I was a child had been one giant figment of my imagination.
How foolish I’d been to believe him. I couldn’t help but wonder what else he’d made me believe that wasn’t true.
I have missed you very much, mistress. Are you well?
I nodded, tears flowing freely despite my joy. “How?” I asked, hoping that was enough to convey what I was truly asking.
I have journeyed far, mistress. I’m sorry I had to leave you. She whined again and sat, soulful eyes looking into mine. I loathe that I will have to do so again. But I will always come back.
“Why?” The single word encapsulated several more questions. Lucky for me, Ramsey had always understood me just fine.
That is a very long story. She looked up at the people who were very politely giving us time to make our greetings. How have you come to know so many demons and stone kin and witches?
“Also a long story.”
We have much to catch up on then. Ramsey chuffed and settled down, laying her body across my legs right where I sat on the floor.
“Isn’t this wonderful!” Seir said, looking like he was ready to burst out of his skin with excitement. “Ramsey, is it? Welcome to the glade.” He performed a flourish of his arm and a bow.
Ramsey glanced at me. He’s odd. I like him.
“Me too.” I realized then, looking between Seir and Ramsey why he’d always seemed so familiar. He had animated facial expressions—joyful, enthusiastic, frustrated—just like a hound. Thankfully my low laugh at the revelation was covered by the other goings-on of the moment.
Ramsey tilted her head in that way only dogs can, examining both Tap and Seir. Princes?
“Indeed.” Tap bowed as well, adjusting his glasses when he straightened.
“Pleased to meet you, Ramsey. I’m Tap, and that’s Seir.
” She gave a little snort and dipped her nose in response.
“I’ve met a few of your sisters through the years, though, I’ll admit it’s been quite a long time since the last.”
I’ve heard of you, Watchman. You maintain the doorways and the familiar bonds. Rolo and Freyda have both spoken kindly of you.
“That’s a very fancy title you have for me. I’m honored. Though, Merry handles the bonds now.” He gestured to her.
Keeper. Ramsey thought loudly, watching Merry. The declaration was edged with surprise.
“Yes, hello. Pleased to meet you.”
The birds both flapped and preened on the windowsill, clearly trying to get her attention.
New friend. Old friend. Archimedes repeated, which absolutely made sense now. The birds both moved to the edges of the sill, and Jacks poked his head through.
You have found many friends, mistress. Some more strange than others.
No need to be rude, hound. Jacks’s voice came into my mind, and I heard Merry squeak as she looked nervously at Ramsey.
Not rude, demi-beast. True.
Even through the walls of the office, Jacks’s stomp was clear. Cheeky. Greetings to you, hound.
He pulled his head back out of the window, letting loose the whinny that sounded like laughter as he moved away from the building.
After a brief, tense moment, Merry walked to the large man with long hair and threaded her arm through his. “Phin, Ramsey, this is Coltor.”
He lifted his hand in a gentle wave. “Hello.”
I nodded in greeting, running my hand over Ramsey’s fur. “Stone kin?” I guessed, putting together what Ramsey had said with Tap’s description from that afternoon at the church.
“Yes. Nephilim?”
I couldn’t stop the stunned laugh that burst from my throat. “Yes.”
“Pleased to meet you.”
“And you.” I was relieved that my ability to speak was returning even if it was only a couple of words at a time.
“Today has been entirely unexpected.” Hailon breathed out heavily. “I’m not sure why I thought we’d have an uneventful afternoon, that’s simply not how things tend to go in this family. I’m Hailon. Pleased to meet you.”
Ramsey tilted her head again. A null? Very rare indeed. I am relieved to find that you are so well protected, mistress.
Relief washed over me. I trusted her assessment, especially as it echoed not only my own feelings but also what Jacks had told me. “I’m so happy to see you.” I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek to the top of her head.
Ramsey seemed exhausted now that she was relaxed, licking at her paws before settling her chin between them across my lap. I wondered when the last time she’d really rested was.
“Well.” Seir clapped his hands gently and turned toward the door, which was still propped open a bit by the cat doorstop. “Who’s hungry?”