Chapter 34 Phin
Phin
Getting back to our normal routine after the hazy days of my heat was more difficult than I expected. I was still tired despite having slept nearly all of the previous day and night.
Once my fever had broken for good, Tap replaced the bedding we’d been using for a final time while I bathed, then made sure I drank plenty of water and ate my fill before tucking me back in again.
He’d spent the whole day carefully removing the rest of the linens to wash one pillow and blanket at a time, ensuring the arrangement I’d made wasn’t too disturbed while I dozed on and off.
I was proud of him for not returning to the hall, though I’m sure it was difficult for him not to.
I finally rolled my pleasantly achy body out of the bed a few hours after Tap brought me breakfast, kissed my forehead, and warned me that Seir was on his way.
“The elixirs Greta gave you are both gone, should I see if she can send more?”
“No, that’s alright. I don’t want to bother her with anything else; she’s already working on my tincture.
Besides, I haven’t had an episode at all since …
” I thought back, heartened when I couldn’t remember exactly when the last one was.
“Before all this, anyhow. And I’ll just take some of the pain reliever if I need some. ”
“Alright. I’ll be in the hall if you need anything.” I pulled him down for a thorough kiss, loving the way he melted into me. “Though if you keep that up …” He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head. “No, I have to go. Eat your food.”
He gave a longing look back at me from the doorway, but sighed and left me there, making sure as always to leave the door open a couple of inches.
I knew it would be best if I got back to work as well, though the temptation to be lazy was awfully strong. Sinking back into the pillows, I allowed myself another few minutes before getting up and go into my own room for clean clothes.
As usual, there were plenty more snacks and tea waiting for me in the kitchen.
I could hear Tap and Seir having a conversation as I crossed to the library, but I was too embarrassed to say hello myself.
By now everyone probably knew what had caused Tap to completely shut down the crossroads, and while there was nothing shameful about it, I still wasn’t sure how I was going to look anyone in the eye right away.
The library was calming in its familiarity, the stacks of deals right where I’d left them.
I scooped up an armload, muttering to myself as I separated them out.
I was settling into the quiet headspace I loved, the place where my body and mind just did what they were supposed to without me having to think through every step.
It was the same place I’d always gone to when copying pages for Father Morton, and sometimes when I drew.
Extreme focus where nothing else mattered and my mind was still.
“Silver in the crate, gold over here. Red over there. Silver, silver, gold.” I paused, something flashing at the edge of my vision.
“Silver …” I turned my head quickly, trying to catch whatever it was that I was seeing.
I gasped, finding a glow from within the piles.
“Gold?” The glow changed, from white to yellow.
Shaky, I focused on the deals in my arms. “Red.” The single open deal in my hands emitted a faint red light.
“Saints.” I squeezed my eyes closed, quickly sorted what I had, then went to the farthest corner of the room and gathered up an armload of envelopes.
With my eyes closed, I tried again. “Silver.” When I opened them, several of the deals I held were lit with a white light.
Needing validation that what I was seeing was real, I finished with that set and left the library.
“Tap?” I called, my voice missing its usual rasp, and at least twice as loud as it had been in years.
Both he and Seir came around the edge of the hall at the same time.
“What’s wrong?” Tap’s question was strained, his pace hurried.
“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to scare you. I’m fine.”
“Phin, you yelled! How exciting!” Seir enthused. He gestured to his brother. “I think it scared both of us, but for different reasons.”
I couldn’t resist his offbeat humor and chuckled, but also I was sure he was telling the truth. “Can you both come look at something?” They glanced at one another but followed me into the library. “Gold,” I said with intent. “Do you see anything?”
“Oh.” Tap grunted, moving toward a shelf where yellow light glowed from multiple different envelopes.
“That’s fantastic!” Seir leafed through several envelopes, exposing more of the light. “How’d you do that?”
“I have no idea. Silver.” The light shifted again and both men reacted appropriately, small gasps and mumbles of appreciation. “Red.”
“This is fascinating, Phin. Has this ever happened before?”
I shook my head, realizing I had no idea how to make it stop.
“No, never. I’m honestly really relieved you see it too.
” I pulled out a handful of the red ones, wandering around the room to gather them.
It really was very handy to be able to identify them so easily.
“Green?” I said, wondering if that would throw off illumination. All the light disappeared.
“Fantastic,” Seir clapped again. “I’ll take this and bring you more empty ones,” he said, picking up a full crate.
“Thanks.”
He left the room, and Tap dipped his head, pressing a kiss to my hair. “That’s a very helpful ability, Feather. What do you think it is, exactly?”
I shrugged. “I know about angelic Voice, of course, but I’ve never had a talent before.”
“That you know of.”
I couldn’t help but agree. “That I know of.”
“What about your father?”
I shook my head. “I never saw him use one that I can remember. We were in the archives a lot but there were no lights. He never spoke much there at all, actually.” I frowned, wondering if his silence meant he was hiding his talent.
“Mmm. Well, I’m glad your throat is healing in any case. Do you need more tea? Water?”
I couldn’t help but smile. Still catering to my every need, all the time. “No, I’m fine.”
“Alright.” He ambled out as well, and I happily dove back in, calling up the silver deals and wondering if I could beat my record of six crates before the day was done.
I’d only managed five crates, all told, but it had been a productive day.
After dinner, Tap and I adjourned to the living area. He was studying some kind of astral calendar while I repainted his fingernails.
“You should do yours too,” he encouraged. “Or I can?” He seemed intrigued by the suggestion even though he’d been the one to make it.
“I would love that, actually, but I don’t want black.”
“We should ask Seir tomorrow, I’ll bet he’s got some blue or even purple lying about. He bought a few new bottles not long ago.” He flipped a page. “If not, I’d bet he knows where to get you some in a hurry.”
“Careful. They’ll smear.”
“I know.” He glanced at me, eyes soft behind his spectacles. “What’s your birthdate, Phin? I was meant to ask you for Rylan a while back, but I kept forgetting with everything else that’s been going on. But also, that feels like something I should know. Something important.”
“I was born on Litha, so early summer. Seventy-five years ago.”
“Mmm.” His eyebrows drew together as he shuffled the book-size pages. “There was an eclipse then.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Do you know when your parents disappeared?”
I thought back. “They left me at the church in the spring, eleven years ago. I don’t know the exact date.”
He shuffled again. “He’s never wrong about these things. How annoying,” he muttered. “We’re due another soon.”
“Eclipse?”
“Yes, within the week if Rylan’s charting is right, and it always is.”
“What will that mean?”
“Hopefully nothing, but Magnus will be sending some reinforcements to help Coltor watch on his end, and Seir will be coming here. There’s just been a pattern of something significant happening during those events, we don’t want to be careless.”
“Makes sense.” I put the little brush back in the bottle and tightened the top. “All done.”
“Thank you.” He held his hands out in front of him and admired the shiny black lacquer.
“What’s your birthday?” I asked, excited to learn something new about him.
“I don’t have one.” At my confusion, he tilted his head, amusement in his eyes. “I wasn’t born, remember?”
I blushed. “Oh. Of course.” I settled into the sofa, disinterested in the book I’d chosen but too lazy to go to the workshops for another. “You should choose one.”
“Just a random day? Point at a calendar with my eyes closed?”
“Sure, why not? You should still have a day to celebrate.”
He smiled softly. “I’ll consider it. I’d be open to suggestions, of course.”
The heat in my cheeks flared again. “I’ll think about it. Do you have a surname?”
Tap glanced up, amusement all over his face. “No, I don’t. Never seemed a need for one, honestly, as I’m here all the time. Rylan uses his old name, Stolas. Vassago chose one for himself many years ago, and Seir uses that one as well now, actually. Do you?”
“We used Engel, which looking back is a lot like them naming me Seraphina—hiding us in plain sight. But no, not really. Not unless my father was doing business that required paperwork here on Earth. There’s no need for that in Heaven, first names are enough.
” For some reason, having no birthday or surname struck me as funny. “We’re strange, aren’t we?”
“Perhaps, but I like us that way.” He stared at me for several heartbeats. “While you consider what date I should use, you should also pick the surname you’d like to have. That way, it’s already sorted out when I officially make you my wife.”
I gaped at him, lost for words as my cheeks burned and he just smirked, smug to have rendered me so speechless. Marriage hadn’t come up yet, though now that the word had been said I found myself intrigued by the possibility.
We sat there a bit longer while he scowled at the calendar pages, but he finally set them down on his side table and stood, reaching out for me.
“Come on, Feather. Let’s get you to bed.” He took me by the hand and led me down the hallway. “Yours or mine?”
I fidgeted. “Would you be upset if I said mine?”
He frowned. “Of course not. Why would I be?”
“Because we’ve been using yours.”
“Well, you have been doing wonders for the amount of rest I get in my bed versus that chair, but you should sleep wherever you’re more comfortable.”
“You can join me, if you like,” I suggested, standing on my toes so I could kiss him.
“Maybe in a bit I’ll take you up on that. I need to do a few things first.”
“Alright.”
He waited until I was out of sight in the bathroom to turn and head back down the hall. I bathed quickly and was just slipping into a thin old tunic when I heard the door creak back open.
“Are you finished already?”
The tips of his ears were pink as he shook his head. “No, but this is more important. I can go back out there once I’m done.”
“Done with what?” I asked, flipping the quilts back and sliding into the sheets.
“Holding you until you fall asleep,” he said, voice low and soft.
I melted; arms open to him as he joined me.
He lay on top of the blankets instead of under them with me, but I was still able to curl into his side and rest my head on his chest. Like we’d done in his room, he stroked his fingers through my hair and up and down my spine, stealing away every bit of tension from my body.
“Sweet dreams, Feather.” His whisper came from somewhere far away as I drifted, and I wasn’t even upset when I felt him slip away. I knew he wouldn’t be far, and that he’d almost certainly come back to me before I woke.