Chapter 21 Allie
ALLIE
Jared’s chest was cool against my cheek, and I snuggled closer.
We’d been lying like this for almost an hour, tangled together on my bed with the late afternoon light filtering through the curtains.
His shirt was somewhere on the floor. I was down to my bra and leggings, which was as far as we ever went—not because I didn’t want more, but because every time things started heading in that direction, one of us would pull back.
Him, usually. Something about wanting to do this right.
It was simultaneously the most romantic and most frustrating thing anyone had ever done for me.
“It’s right below us,” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. “The portal. Like, down there underneath us all the time.”
Jared’s hand stilled on my back. “I try not to think about it.”
“How can you not think about it? There’s a door to hell in our basement. A door that’s getting bigger. A door that my blood was supposed to close, except—” I pushed up on one elbow so I could see his face. “Why didn’t it work? My blood closed the gates before. Why is this different?”
“I don’t know.” His dark eyes were troubled. “Different gate, I guess. Maybe the ritual has to be done with a chant. Or the moon has to be full. There’s no way to guess.”
“Maybe I’m not enough.” The words came out smaller than I intended. “Maybe whatever Father Donnelly bred into me, whatever makes me special—it’s not the right kind of special for this.”
“Hey.” Jared sat up, pulling me with him so we were facing each other. “You are more than enough. We just don’t have all the pieces yet.”
“What if we run out of time before we find them?”
He didn’t answer. We both knew that was a real possibility.
I leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around me. “I keep thinking about what happens after,” I admitted. “If we survive this. If we close the portal and beat Samarek and everything goes back to normal—whatever normal even means anymore.”
“What about it?”
“Us. What happens to us.” I pulled back enough to look at him. “You’re immortal, Jared. Or close enough. And I’m going to get old and wrinkly and eventually die, and you’re just going to—”
“Stop.” His voice was firm but gentle. “We’ve talked about this.”
“I know, but—”
“I don’t care about forever. I care about now. I care about tomorrow. I care about as many days as we get, however many that turns out to be.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “The rest, we figure out as we go.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But the math never worked out in my head, no matter how many times I tried to make it add up.
The door burst open.
“Allie, I need to talk to you about—oh my God! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” Mindy stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide, face already turning red. Her gaze ping-ponged between Jared’s bare chest and me in only my bra, and I could practically see her brain short-circuiting.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, making Mindy cringe even more.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t—I should have knocked. I’ll just—” She was already backing up, hands raised like she was surrendering.
“I really have to start locking that door,” I said.
Jared, because he was Jared, was already reaching for his shirt. “It’s fine. I can give you two some space.”
“No, no, it’s okay, I can come back, I’ll just—” Mindy was fumbling for the door handle without looking at it. “Text me! Or don’t! Whatever! Sorry!”
“Mindy.” I grabbed a tee from the floor and tugged it on. “Calm down. It’s fine. What’s going on?”
She stopped retreating, but she still looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her. “It can wait. Seriously. I didn’t mean to interrupt your...your...” She gestured vaguely at the bed.
“Our conversation?” I offered dryly.
“Sure. Yes. That.”
Jared had his shirt back on now. He dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “I’ll go take a cold shower.”
I rolled my eyes as he squeezed my hand. “Text me later?”
I nodded, and he slipped past Mindy, who was still muttering apologies. She watched him go, then turned back to me with an expression that was part embarrassment, part adoration. It was the second part that made me melt.
“Okay,” I said, patting the bed beside me. “Spill. What’s the big deal?”
She hesitated, then crossed the room and perched on the edge of the mattress. “It’s about Zane.”
“What about him?”
“I don’t think keeping him here is a good idea.” The words came out in a rush. “I know your mom decided to trust him, and I know he confessed and everything, but Allie. He’s Samarek’s son. And I looked up Samarek. Like, really dug into the archives.”
“And?”
“And he’s insane. Like, genuinely, horrifically insane.
The things he did to people. To himself.
He literally replaced his own body parts with demon bits.
And there are accounts of him keeping people alive for years while he experimented on them to learn how to do that.
” She shuddered. “Zane came from that monster. That’s his father. That’s his blood.”
I felt something cold settle in my chest. “So you’re scared of him because of something he had no choice in?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“He didn’t choose to be a demon’s kid, Mindy. He didn’t ask for any of this.”
“I know that. But still.”
“And he told my mom everything. He came forward on his own. He could have kept lying, but he didn’t. He chose to tell the truth.”
“Maybe.” She had her stubborn face on. “People say what they need to say to survive. How do we know this isn’t just another manipulation? Another move in whatever game Samarek’s been playing?”
“Because I looked at his face when he talked about Trevor. Because I saw him fall apart. Because—”
“Because he seems like a nice guy, and that’s all you can see. But what if that’s a mask? He’s right here living under the same roof with us.”
Anger roared through me. “So we should just write people off because of where they came from? Because of what’s in their blood?
” I was on my feet now, the blanket falling away, too angry to care.
“You know who else has demon stuff in their blood? My dad. You know who’s an actual vampire?
My boyfriend. The one you just walked in on and who didn’t suck you dry for doing it.
I mean, let’s think. Oh, right, he was actually polite. ”
Mindy’s face went pale. “That’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same? My dad carried a demon inside him for years. Jared is literally undead. And you’re sitting here telling me we should be scared of Zane because his father is a monster?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“Bullshit. You’re saying exactly that.” My hands were shaking.
All the fear from the last few days, all the uncertainty about the portal and my blood and whether any of us were going to survive this—it was all pouring out now, aimed at the easiest target.
“You’re saying that blood is destiny. That what your parents did determines who you are.
That people can’t choose to be different. ”
“Allie, I’m just scared, okay?” Mindy’s eyes were bright with tears. “I’m scared and I don’t know what to do and I thought maybe you’d understand.”
“Understand what? That my best friend thinks my dad and my boyfriend are ticking time bombs because of something they never chose?”
“That’s not fair!”
“Get out.”
Mindy stared at me. “Allie—”
“Get out.” I grabbed the first thing my hand touched—a stuffed penguin Mindy had given me and that I love—and threw it at her. It bounced off her shoulder, harmless but pointed. “I can’t talk to you right now. Just go.”
She went. The door closed behind her with a soft click that somehow felt louder than a slam.
I stood there in the middle of my room, breathing hard, the anger draining out of me as quickly as it had come. In its place was something worse. Something that felt a lot like guilt.
Mindy was scared. We were all scared. And I’d just thrown her out for saying the quiet part out loud—the thing we were all thinking but nobody wanted to admit.
What if Zane was exactly what his father made him?
What if blood really was destiny?
What if the demon essence in my veins meant I was destined to become something terrible too?
I sank down onto the bed, pulled my knees to my chest, and tried very hard not to cry.
I don’t know how long I sat there before the door opened again, soft and slow. Jared slipped inside, his hair still damp from the shower, and without a word he crossed to the bed and climbed in beside me. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me against his chest, and I let myself fold into him.
“You heard,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
“Stupid vampire hearing.”
I laughed, but it was thin. Because as much as I didn’t want to think it, I had the terrible feeling that my best friend was scared of me, and I didn’t know what to do with that.
“She doesn’t mean it,” Jared said quietly. “She’s just scared. We all are.” His hand moved in slow circles on my back. “She loves you. And she must love me, too. I’m irresistible.”
That almost got a real laugh out of me. Almost.
“If Zane’s gone bad,” Jared continued, his voice serious now, “it’s because of his choices, not his parentage. You know that. Hell, so does Mindy.” He pressed a kiss to my hair. “So don’t you go forgetting it now.”
I didn’t say anything, just snuggled closer and silently hoped that Mindy remembered it, too.