Chapter Three #2
“If you behave yourself.” She looked him up and down. “You do, at least, have both looks and charm, and conduct yourself well in society. It would be even more galling to make a fool of myself over an unappealing wastrel.”
He stilled, his scar seeming to slash more darkly across his right cheek. She instantly recalled the man she had first met, the one who had disarmed her, and surely come close to hurting her.
He dropped her hand. “I can become unappealing anytime you want, Mrs. Celestin. I would advise you not to push me too far. A man ready to die is equally ready to consign nine thousand pounds to the devil.”
The small balcony was suddenly confining, and he blocked the way out.
She desperately wanted to look away, or to try to push out of this confined space.
As with an animal, however, to show fear was to lose control.
She met his angry eyes. “What of the eleven thousand, my lord? You owe me service for that.”
His nostrils flared, and she suddenly saw in him a stallion. A young, magnificent, abused stallion on the edge of going bad. Dear heavens, who did she think she was, to try to keep together something so riven through with cracks?
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I spoke thoughtlessly. I chose you for this because you are a gentleman.”
“But why did you choose anyone, Mrs. Celestin? What is the purpose of this extravagant charade?”
She’d hoped to put this off until she’d thought of a better rationale, but clearly she had to say something now.
With great effort, she spoke lightly. “One person’s extravagance is another’s whim, Lord Vandeimen.
I have a mind to enjoy this season, and I am pestered by fortune hunters.
You are my guard against them, that is all. ”
She must have presented it correctly, for she saw his tension ease in scarcely perceptible, but significant, ways.
“You must be very, very rich.”
“I am.”
“Then of course, I am completely at your service. Command me, dear lady.”
Shockingly, the requests that came to mind were all indecent. She sank back on what she had said before. “Do as you would if you were intent on sweeping me out of sanity and into your marital bed.”
He looked at her for a moment, then raised his left hand and rested it on her naked shoulder. Warm. Roughened from the practice of war.
No, not practice. Real, deadly war. How many deaths had those intent blue eyes seen?
How many had his elegant hands delivered?
How much suffering, during battle and after?
She had lost no one of importance to her except a baby brother, half remembered, and Maurice, who had died miles away on a hunting field, and by then not truly grieved.
They called this man Demon. A terrible label for a noble soldier and hero, but she could only think of how very familiar he must be with death. No wonder he’d seemed indifferent as to whether she shot him or not. He probably cared for nothing at all, and was wounded too deeply for that to change.
Was he going to kiss her, here in full view of everyone? She should prevent that, but for the moment, she was paralyzed.
With scarcely a pause, however, he brushed his hand across her bare shoulder, sending shivers down her spine, until his fingers moved into the loose curls at the edge of her hair.
He could be tidying a curl or brushing away an insect.
He played there for a moment, eyes holding hers, then lowered his hand to his side.
Fear still held her, but underneath surged something even worse. Lust.
Triumph glinted in his sudden smile.
Ah.
She sucked in a deep breath. He was going to do what she had paid for, but for pride’s sake he was going to try to seduce her at the same time. Not surprising, though yet again, something she had not anticipated.
She certainly had never anticipated that it might be so terribly possible.
Already a part of her was crying, Why not? Why not? You could lie together with him tonight! Deep muscles clenched at the thought.
She often lay in the quiet night remembering a man’s body on hers, in hers. She didn’t wish Maurice back, but memory of hot intimacy always left her feeling aching and hollow.
She was staring at him. Carefully, slowly, she turned her head to look past, unfurling her fan. She couldn’t afford to give him a weapon like that, and it would be wrong to use him. She must remember her purpose—to heal him and set him free with the money Maurice had stolen.
“The next dance is starting,” he said. “Shall we be partners again? It will create just the storm you want.”
Storm. An apt name for the tumult inside her, but she agreed. She had set her course and would pursue it, even through a storm of embarrassment, scandal, and yes—frustration.
She was no blushing ingenue. She could control herself and her demon. She went calmly with him to form an eight.
She completed the dance almost hectic with emotion. Beneath dissipation, dark memories, and that nasty scar, was a young man, a devastatingly attractive young man, who was doing his best to bewitch her.
And his best was very good.
She’d struggled to pin her mind to higher thoughts—to his experiences in the war and his need of gentle nurturing at home.
Beneath that logical and noble mind, however, quivered a body that wanted to tear his clothes off, press to his heat, inhale and taste him, and bring him nurture and release of another kind entirely.
His very youth, his pain, his sensitivity, his leashed resistance to her rule, were all exciting her more than she could have believed possible.
Before he even suggested an outrageous third dance, she accepted an invitation from another man. It didn’t matter who, but it was Mr. Fanshawe, a pleasant gentleman who doubtless would like to marry her money, but who didn’t make a nuisance of himself about it.
As they strolled, waiting for the next set to start, she made herself seriously consider Mr. Fanshawe as a husband. She did want to marry again, and he was comfortable, undemanding, and her own age. He was the sort of man she had expected to choose, but now the prospect made her want to yawn.
She knew why, but that was only a temporary insanity.
The music started and she let the dance sweep her up, enjoying as always the neatness of fluid movements up and down the line. When she extended her hand to dance round and past the next gentleman, she almost faltered.
Vandeimen!
She recovered, smiled, and danced on. Idiot! Nothing to stop him joining the same line. If he was playing the part of ardent suitor, of course he would. Her hand still tingled from his touch, however.
It must not be.
She wove back down the line, approached him again, joined hands, stepped around, and onward.
That was how it would be. Swirled together by fate, six weeks of linked hands, and then onward and apart. He would have a new chance at life, and she would have a clear conscience.
She did wish it had been possible to do it impersonally, but while she’d been coming up with elaborate schemes, he’d plunged suddenly into darkness and she’d known she had to act. She’d been right, too. Frighteningly right. She still shuddered at the thought of being moments too late.
When it was his turn to dance down the middle of the long line with his partner she saw that he was partnering a flushed and dazzled young thing burdened by a pudding face and frizzy mousy hair.
He’d either chosen or been dragooned into partnering a wallflower, but his smile for her was bright and warm, and he was creating a brief heaven for her.
Beneath the wastrel lay a good man. She shouldn’t be surprised, and she certainly shouldn’t feel a proprietary pride. He wasn’t hers, and that was exactly where he should look for a bride. Among the innocent and fertile young.
Fertile. She grasped that painful thorn. In ten years of active marriage she had not conceived, and it hadn’t been Maurice’s fault. He had four bastards that she knew about.
Vandeimen needed children to rebuild his line.
What a betrayal that she even needed to remind herself of that! Beneath the dark and the scars, however, Vandeimen was a good man, and she was glad of it.
Women teasingly divided potential husbands into three groups—heaven, purgatory, and hell. Maurice had promised heaven but turned out to be purgatory, which she gathered was all too common. Vandeimen, she suspected, was a purgatory who would turn out to be heaven for the right woman.
But not for her.
For supper partner, she chose Lord Warren.
He was a widower with two sons, so the fact that she was unlikely to have children didn’t matter to him.
He was sensible, honest, and persistent in pursuit, but would make an excellent husband.
He held a minor position in the government.
Perhaps being a political hostess would amuse her.
She concentrated on his interesting conversation, and that of the other people at her table, but then a burst of laughter made her glance across the room. Vandeimen was at a table with a group that glittered with youth, life, and high spirits.
His natural milieu.
“Noisy, aren’t they?” Lord Warren said.
Maria turned back to him, pulling a slight face, grateful that she hadn’t revealed a touch of wistfulness. “They’re young.”
“Indeed. My eldest is not much younger, and he and the rest can destroy tranquility in a moment.”
She sipped her wine to hide another reaction.
If she married Lord Warren, she would become stepmother to sons not a great deal younger than Lord Vandeimen. Only eight years divided them, but the way the world worked they were almost different generations.
She conversed with Lord Warren and the other older people at her table, trying to block the sounds of lively chatter and bursts of laughter from across the room.
It was a relief to rise to return to the ballroom. As she strolled out with Lord Warren she decided she would leave the ball soon. She’d done enough for one night. Vandeimen could come up with other modes of pursuit tomorrow.
Then he rose fluidly from his table to put himself in her way, smiling, seemingly relaxed. Gorgeous.
“Mrs. Celestin, you expressed an interest in exploring the gardens. Miss Harrowby had just suggested a stroll out there. Would you care to come?” He gestured to the French doors that stood open to the warm night.
She froze for a moment. It was bold. It was almost impolite, though Warren would expect to hand her over to a new partner soon. If she accepted, it would be a clear sign to all that she was encouraging him.
Everyone was watching.
She smiled at her escort. “If you don’t mind, my lord . . .” then moved her hand from his arm to Vandeimen’s.
Glances shot around the young people carrying many messages, and whispering began behind her in the room, but in moments she and a number of other couples were heading into the lamplit dark.