Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
DAMON
The sound that flies out of Adeline’s mouth makes it sound as if she’s being eaten alive. I spring up from the chair, my phone dropping on the floor, and I rush to her side.
“This is normal. All good signs.” Dr. Porter, who I can tell is more into me than his patient, smiles.
Adeline’s eyes widen, and she arches her back, hands on her stomach. “Holy hell!” She looks at her mom with an expression of, “Is this really what this is like?”
Her mom nods with a smirk.
“Once you get a little further along, we can call for an epidural. Dr. Griffin should be here by then.” Dr. Porter starts to leave the room, and I pull him back by the collar of his white jacket.
“Excuse me, you can’t give her anything now? Didn’t you just see how much pain she’s in?”
He steps away to remove my hand from him. “This is called having a baby. I know it’s her first one, but what did you both think it involved?”
“We don’t need your sarcasm, and yes, this is both of our firsts.” I emphasize both, so he knows it’s my first baby too. “Some guidance would be nice. Like when can she get the epidural? How long will it take for her to dilate before she can start pushing?”
Her mom feeds Adeline ice chips. There’s a line of sweat along Adeline’s hairline now.
“If you’re looking for specifics, I can’t give them to you. Every birth is different. It’s like a playbook. It doesn’t execute the same way every time.” He walks out of the room, and I follow, stopping the nurse in the hallway.
“Excuse me,” I say, gently taking her elbow.
She swivels back around. “Do you need something else?”
“How do I help her?” I ask. “I can’t just sit there, hold her hand, and feed her ice chips. There has to be something else I can do.”
She smiles and even laughs a little. “Unfortunately, everything you just mentioned is exactly what you can do. If you want, she can try a hot shower or a bath, too. She’ll have to deal with some pain, but try distracting her and make sure you encourage her. You’ll get through it.”
I nod, but I’m not really satisfied with her answer. “Thanks.”
The whole time leading up to this point, there’s always been something I can do—go to the appointments with her, paint the baby’s room, drive her to and from work, make sure she’s fed. Now the big moment is here, and I feel useless.
I head back into the room, and Adeline’s head is listed to the side while her mom places a washcloth on her forehead.
How did I get here? Three months ago, I was single, carefree, and able to go anywhere I wanted. And now I’m begging some woman to tell me how to take the pain away from the woman I had a one-night stand with nine months ago so she can give birth to our child.
My thoughts travel to Greta. If things had been different, would I already be in this stage of life? Would we be married and have kids, living in some suburban home?
“I don’t like him,” Adeline says, drawing my attention. “I want Dr. Griffin. I do not want him to deliver our baby. The baby will feel all the tension in me, and he or she should only feel love.”
“He said she should be on her way. I’ll call her.”
I grab my cell phone off the floor and dial Dr. Griffin as I walk into the hallway. She answers, but it’s clear from the background noise that she’s driving.
“Hello, Damon, I’m on my way. Just a little traffic to deal with. I was in the city at a play with my husband. But I talked to Dr. Porter, and he assured me that she’s early in the process. She’ll probably deliver sometime in the morning.”
Morning? I search out a clock to see that it’s only seven o’clock at night. “Are you serious?”
She laughs. “Yes. Childbirth isn’t usually a fast process, but we’ll get there.”
A horn honks in the background. “I’ll let you concentrate on the road. Adeline will be happy you’ll be here.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I walk back into the room to find Adeline in the middle of a contraction.
“She’s on her way.” I take her small hand, and she squeezes tightly. Holy shit, she’s got some grip.
“OHHHHH… AHHHH…” She moans before switching to some breathing technique.
“Shouldn’t we have done Lamaze?” I ask, and her mom gives me an expression like why bother asking about it now.
“I did… ah… videos online.”
“And you didn’t include me? I’m your partner. How am I supposed to keep you on track, be your coach?”
Adeline breathes fast, turning in my direction.
“I thought we were in this together?”
Her contraction must subside because she inhales one deep breath. “Shit, this is so different than cramps.” She squeezes my hand. “Did you want to see a live birth? And honestly, it isn’t like I’m saying no to the epidural.”
“I guess so.” I still don’t feel great about it. How did I forget the whole Lamaze thing? It’s in every damn movie.
Eventually, everything calms down for a while. Her mother and I slide chairs over to be closer to the bed. The hospital even calms down outside our doors. They’ve darkened the room, and less staff seem to be walking the floor.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I’m awoken by Adeline’s hand running through my hair. It takes a second before I realize where we are and what we were doing.
My head shoots up with alarm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Rarely do I ever see you so peaceful. We’re having a baby.” Her voice sounds wistful, almost like she can’t believe it.
I smile at her and nod. “We are. Well, you are.”
“Don’t worry, once he or she is out, you’ll be doing your share.” Again, her smile pierces my heart.
“Damn right.”
We stare at one another for a while, and I wish I knew what was going on in her head. These past few months, we’ve grown close, and now we’re going to raise a baby together.
I haven’t had a moment to really think about what happened right before we left for the hospital, and I’m not sure now is the time.
“I’m here!” Dr. Griffin comes in. “Sorry, I stopped for a quick dinner. I was only down the street in case something happened fast, but I see we’re stalling a little.” She washes her hands and goes over to the machine that spits out paper.
The nurse follows and glances at Adeline and me.
“Although you two look really relaxed, how about we get you up and walking around, Adeline?” the doctor says.
“Seriously?” I can’t keep the surprise from my voice.
“Oh, I could use it. I’m sick of lying down.” Adeline is already trying to sit up.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask, sounding a tad more alarmed than I probably should.
Adeline laughs. “She’s with my dad. They were going to get something to eat before the cafeteria closed.”
My eyes widen. “But she’s our expert!”
Dr. Griffin’s forehead wrinkles as she stares at me.
“I mean, she’ll tell me what I should be doing.” I haven’t felt this helpless since that day with Greta. I hate hospitals.
“I’ll be happy to direct you, Damon.” Dr. Griffin smiles. “Okay, let’s get you up.”
She and the nurse help Adeline get unattached to the monitor while I put on her socks over her cute pink painted toenails that she got done with Sami the other night. Dr. Griffin and the nurse help Adeline out of bed and hand her over to me with matching grins.
And we walk down the hall.
And up the hall.
And back down the hall.
And up the hall again.
Adeline’s labor starts up again and fast.
So fast that there’s some guy here to give her an epidural. In the meantime, her mom still hasn’t come back. I even sent her a text from Adeline’s phone.
“You’re used to holding things still, right? Cradling that football into the end zone?” The anesthesiologist’s humor isn’t really hitting tonight. “She has to stay still. Do you hear me, Adeline? You must stay still no matter what.”
She nods and looks at me with her lips pursed. She’s sitting on the side of the bed with her legs dangling between us.
Jesus, women go through a lot for a baby. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I’m happy it’s not us guys who have to deal with all this stuff.
I hold her, her forearms gripping my upper arms, her head cradled in my neck. It’s the first time I’ve seen her really afraid of anything.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you,” I whisper, and I’m not sure I even knew how much I meant that until right now. We’re in this crazy situation, but I would never leave her to deal with this by herself.
The anesthesiologist pulls out the needle he’s about to put in her back and I swallow as hard as I can.
“What? It’s big, right?” Adeline says, pushing her forehead into my neck a little more.
“No. It’s fine.” I mean, it’s not the needle that scares me as much as the fact the anesthesiologist looks as if he’s about twelve.
“Okay, Adeline, I’m going to be putting the needle in,” he says.
“Okay.”
“Don’t move,” he repeats.
“She’s got it. Can we just do it?” I ask with a bite to my tone.
“Distract me,” she asks softly.
“Okay, um… your tits look great in that hospital gown.”
“What?”
“Just kidding.”
“The needle is in. Give me another minute, then you can lie back down,” he says.
“You scared me,” Adeline says.
“I couldn’t make you laugh, and you gave me no time to think of anything to say. And hey, it would be nice to give the anesthesiologist a glimpse of his first breast.”
She laughs and shakes her head.
I thought after the epidural, things would speed along, but no, they slow down again. Until five o’clock in the morning, when it’s time to start pushing.
“You’re doing great, Adeline. Keep going. Another push.”
Dr. Griffin, some nurses, and, thank God, her mom are here. I have one hand, and her mom has the other one.
“Daddy and Grandma, pull the legs,” Dr. Griffin says.
“Legs?” I ask.
Her mom takes Adeline’s leg and pulls it back toward Adeline’s head. If I move her other leg, I’m going to see what’s going on between her legs.
I copy her mom and divert all my attention away from the lower region.
“Count down from ten. Ready?” Dr. Griffin leads. “Ten… nine… eight… seven…”
Damn, Adeline’s strong. Not once has she said she was done or too exhausted to finish. She’s done everything Dr. Griffin said without argument, and I can see how much this is taking out of her.
“There you go,” Dr. Griffin says. “Rest up for a moment, then we’re going to go in again. The head is crowning, so we’re almost there, okay?”
Adeline nods, sweat pouring down her face, her robe barely covering her.
“Daddy, support her back when she pushes. Help her crouch forward,” Dr. Griffin says.
I nod, wishing I had eight hands to help her even more. I feel worthless here. She’s doing all the hard work.
The doctor tells her to push again, and Adeline moves up, pushing. I place one hand on her upper back and use my other to hold her leg as I count down with everyone else in the room.
“The head is out. Stop for a moment,” Dr. Griffin says.
My stomach does this weird swooping sensation. Whether it’s excitement or nerves, I don’t know.
“Beautiful,” her mom says, and I want to look, but I’m not sure what to do.
Adeline somehow notices my trepidation because she’s amazing like that. “Go ahead and look if you want.”
I glimpse past her leg, and holy shit, a lot is going on down there. But I see a full head of dark hair, then Dr. Griffin does something and I hear our baby cry. Adeline smiles and lies back on the bed. I squeeze her hand as unshed tears clog my vision.
“Now let’s push and get this baby out so he or she can meet their mama.” Dr. Griffin cradles the head. “Okay, here comes another contraction, let’s go again.”
Adeline pushes, and her face turns red. She appears more determined than before.
“We’ve almost got the shoulders out. Let’s keep going. Push again.”
Barely getting a break, Adeline gets up, her movements slow, her fatigue showing, but she doesn’t complain.
“You’re doing great, baby. You’re so strong,” I whisper in her ear. “You’re going to be the best mom, I just know it.”
Our eyes lock for a moment right before the doctor says, “She’s out! Congratulations, you two, you have a daughter.” Dr. Griffin holds up our daughter for a moment.
“A girl?” Adeline smiles at me, then her mom.
“I’m gonna be a girl dad?” I ask in disbelief, overwhelmed by all the feelings rushing through me.
Adeline turns to me, tears filling her eyes. “And you’ll be amazing.”
A nurse places our daughter in Adeline’s arms, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders, peering down at the most beautiful baby girl who ever existed in the history of the world.