Chapter 28
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
DAMON
I’ve been in a bad mood since I woke up. Miles and Cooper’s words keep echoing through my head and wearing me down, pushing me closer to admitting my feelings for Adeline. But no good can come from that.
Clover is napping, and Adeline’s mom will be here any minute to pick her up. I hate having to send her away.
Miles’s words float through my head about how I need to figure this shit out. He has a point, I suppose.
I grab the box in the corner of my closet and open it on my bed. A picture of Greta and me is the first thing I see. Then her homecoming corsage, movie tickets, all the stuff she kept in a memory box her parents gave me after she died. She even had all the small notes I’d dropped into her locker.
The pain surfaces immediately, the memories of her lying on the snow.
I’d begged her to go for another run down the hill when she’d wanted to go in.
The life flight, the hospital, the look in the doctor’s eyes when he told me to call her parents.
Her hand going limp in mine, and the nurse coming in to shut off the machine.
I rub my hand over my heart, trying to soothe the pain.
My buzzer goes off, and I fumble to put the lid on the box and shove it under my bed for now. I let Adeline’s mom in, then open my apartment door.
Picking up Clover, I cradle her before putting her in the carrier, buckling her up. “I’m gonna miss you so much, sweet girl.”
“Hello?” Marge peeks her head in.
“Hey, I’m just getting her in the car seat. If you’re lucky, she’ll sleep on the way back.” I try to keep my voice light.
She smiles. “Actually, while she’s sleeping, I was hoping I could talk to you.”
Fuck, this will be fun, hearing a bunch of “I told you so’s” and “You’re not good enough for my daughter.” Tell me something I don’t know.
“Sure, do you want to sit?” I motion to the living area.
“I’d love to.”
We go over to the couch, and she sits. “You’re none of my business, but my daughter is my business and my granddaughter is my business, so I’m just going to shoot it straight. Your dad visited Adeline last night.”
I drop down on the other end of the couch. I fucking knew it was bullshit when my mom showed up here out of nowhere saying she missed her granddaughter. “And?”
“I hate to bring up a subject you obviously don’t like to talk about, but he mentioned a name to her. Greta?”
Anger pours through my blood like burning lava. “He shouldn’t have. It’s none of his business.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Damon.”
“Excuse me?” I don’t want to be rude to Adeline’s mom, but I’m done with everyone saying they know what’s best for me.
“It became my business and your father’s business the minute you got my daughter pregnant.”
“Okay, but—”
She puts up her hand to stop me. “You invited my daughter into your life, and I understand that you went through something traumatic at such a young age, but I’m here to tell you—and I realize I didn’t know her—but if Greta did love you, she wouldn’t want you to throw your life away with different women who mean nothing to you.
Because if she wanted that for you, then that’s not love, Damon.
Love is wanting the other person to be happy, regardless of where that puts you.
A partner’s love…” She shakes her head. “I don’t think I have to explain it to you because I saw you, Damon.
I saw you love my daughter, and you love her fiercely. ”
I look down at my hands, unable to look her in the eye. She’ll see the truth.
“Now tell me, why are you so hell-bent on denying that love? Because I fear that you’re confusing love for guilt. That your guilt over what happened to Greta has eaten you up over the years, and you’ve convinced yourself that you never want to go through that loss again.”
“Why the hell would I ever want to experience that pain again?” My voice is raw. I still can’t look at her.
“That’s valid. No one likes to have their heart broken. No one likes to lose love. But if you ask anyone who’s lost someone they loved whether they’d change things and never have had that love in their life, most people would rather have had what little time they could get with that person.”
“Why are you saying all this? You don’t even like me.”
She smiles. “I didn’t like you much at first, that’s no secret.
But then I saw the effort you put in during the pregnancy and after Clover was born.
And I watched my daughter fall in love with you.
It’s my job as a parent to get her what she wants.
Which means me here, talking to you. Are you happy, Damon?
Right now, have you been happy these past few weeks?
Are you relieved to not have Adeline here? ”
“Hell no.” My face crumples and I let my head drop, my hands in my hair.
“Then why are you putting your family through this?” she asks softly.
I finally bring my head up and meet her eyes. “She’s better off without me.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
I put my head in my hands again. “Because I love her more than Greta. Is that what you want to hear? I love her with everything inside me, and if something happens to her…” I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head. “I’m not sure I could ever recover.”
She pats my knee. “Oh, sweetie, everybody who has ever truly loved someone understands that fear, but while you’re sitting here worried about something that might never happen, you’re losing out on all the good moments.
Take it from me, time goes so fast. One day you’ll blink, and your little girl will be an adult, having her own baby.
Somewhere on your way to becoming a pro athlete, you were able to put your fear aside.
Find the same courage here. Don’t miss out on all the good days you could have by worrying about the bad days that may never come. ”
“I miss Adeline,” I whisper, fear and relief warring with each other at admitting it out loud.
“Guess what?” She dips her head to look at me, and I turn mine to the side. “There’s a solution to that problem. Go get her back.”
I pick up my head and look at the clock. “She’s still in school. Shaylene will never let me through.”
“You’re the Chicago Grizzlies starting wide receiver. You’re going to let little ol’ Shaylene keep you from winning your woman back?”
She’s right.
“Hell no.” I stand and look around.
“How about I drive you?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
I grab Clover’s carrier, and we leave the apartment.
Damn, what if she doesn’t take me back? Fuck that. I won her once. I can do it a second time. I won’t quit trying until Adeline’s back where she belongs.
When we park outside the middle school, I’m more nervous than I was before the championship game last year.
“I’ve got Clover. You go get in,” Marge says.
I run up to the doors, press the button, and tap my foot.
“Hello, how can I help you?” Shaylene answers.
“I’m here to see Adeline Morgan,” I say.
She buzzes me in, and I go straight into the office.
“You know I’m not letting you in, Mr. Siska. Elijah.” Shaylene jots something on a piece of paper and waves for him to come over. “Give Miss Morgan this note.”
“No!” I put my hand over the note.
In the meantime, Adeline’s mom and Clover get buzzed in.
“Please, I really want to surprise her.” I give Shaylene my best pleading face.
“I cannot let you through those doors.”
I take everything out of my pockets and place it on the counter. My keys, gum, wallet. “You want me to strip? I will.” I grab the hem of my shirt.
“Oh jeez,” she says. “Please don’t.”
“Please do,” another woman farther back in the office says.
“Let him in, Shaylene. He wants to confess his love to her,” Adeline’s mom says, coming up to my side.
Vic, the security guard, comes in, and I point at him. “He can walk me the entire way. I’ll do anything. Please.”
“Let him through,” Elijah says, and I fist bump him.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Vic reaches under her desk and presses the button for the doors into the school.
I run to grab the door, then turn around. “Where is her room?”
“I’ll show you.” Vic comes alongside me. “Does baby want to come too?”
Adeline’s mom holds the carrier to me, but I grab it and take Marge’s arm. “You got me here. You have to see how this ends.”
She smiles at me. I think I earned some brownie points there.
“Vic, you better keep your eye out,” Shaylene calls.
As we walk the halls, Clover’s eyes flutter open, and she smiles up at me as though she knows Daddy finally came to his senses. I just hope Mommy still loves me.