Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
ARBOR
I wake up groggy and out of sorts, the clock telling me it’s just past ten p.m. My mouth feels thick with cotton, and I swallow down the taste of bile.
Fuck, I drank too much and fell asleep, didn’t I? I don’t normally do that, but as flashes from earlier come bursting through my mind, I realize how nervous I was meeting Glenn’s brothers, the werewolves on his porch.
Just being with him at his place once more.
I had to drink to cope. And now here I am.
Glenn saw me completely wrecked, and he still drove me home.
Gods, when I see him at work, I’m going to be so fucking embarrassed.
I roll out of bed, stumbling toward the bathroom. It’s only when I’m at the sink, scrubbing my teeth, that I realize I’m not wearing pants.
Fuck, did he take them off me? Or did I shuck them in my delirious, overheated state?
I’m going to need to apologize when I see him. Get on my knees and grovel.
I spit out the paste in my mouth and splash some water on my face. I need some water, maybe some electrolytes, to get my body back on track.
Something to help me feel a little more human. The effects of the alcohol won’t last long, but I wouldn’t mind helping them along.
Pushing out of the bathroom, I make my way toward the kitchen when I see it.
There’s a shape looming near the window, the city lights flickering around a muscular form.
Glenn is here. He stayed.
“Hey,” I croak, wincing at the sound of my voice.
He turns, and it’s then that I realize he’s only wearing boxers and nothing else. My throat clicks as I stand there, trying to behave, but it’s so fucking hard when he looks like that.
He turns, and his hands clench near his sides. “You’re awake.”
“Yeah, I just…Well, I always get sleepy when I drink. Sorry about that.”
“You were snoring for a while there.”
I feel my cheeks heat and run a hand through my unruly hair. “I don’t snore, do I?”
“Yeah, you do.”
He folds his arms across his bare chest and then seems to realize he’s mostly naked.
“Shit, sorry about this. I was sleeping for a bit, waiting to make sure you didn’t die in your sleep. I’ll put on some clothes.”
He moves to do just that, but I stop him by stepping up next to him.
“Did the city lights wake you?”
My voice is strained, but he doesn’t address it, just moves his gaze back out to the twinkling lights in the distance. From here, I can feel the heat of his body, can smell the scent of him.
“Yeah. Not used to the noise, either. You don’t have blinds, do you?”
“No. I don’t mind it. Makes me feel less alone.”
His eyes swivel around my loft. “You have a nice place.”
“I guess. It’s cold and bland, and I’m not crazy about it. Vince liked it, though. It’s why I bought it.”
“He didn’t pay into it?”
“No, couldn’t afford it.”
Glenn stares at me for a long moment, making me squirm before turning back to face the skyline.
“Sounds like a loser.”
“He was. I spent way too much time with him.”
Glenn is quiet, mulling that over. “How long were you together?”
“Two years. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it was for me. It was my first real relationship.”
“Hm, that’s hard.”
“It was. He really made me feel less than.” I pause and then shake my head. “You don’t want to hear this…”
“I do. I really do.” I peer up at him, and he stares back, his eyes darkening as they flick to my lips. “I’ve been in and out of relationships. Nothing ever serious.”
I take that information and tuck it deep inside my mind.
“Nothing with a man, either,” I fill in for him.
“True. You were my first. Probably my last.”
I flush, feeling my heartbeat in my ears. I want to reach out, but he turns his gaze and steps to the side slightly, almost as if he knows what I’m going to do.
“Why do you think you’ve never had a serious relationship?”
“Just haven’t found the right person.” He stares at me long and hard. “Thing is, I would like to have a family one day. Just need to meet someone worth keeping.”
I stare at him so hard my eyes water, but I say nothing. I want to scream that I can do that, that he can keep me, but I can’t promise it. I really can’t. And I’m sure he doesn’t trust that I’d stay. Not when I’ve run off multiple times already.
“I’d like a family too,” I finally admit, my voice cracking slightly. “I told you this already, but I never had one. Not really. I mean, I had a mom and dad, but they were gone far too soon. And the little time I had, I just saw them fight with each other. They were both very unhappy.”
“I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Me too. It’s really fucked me up, I think.
I mean, I know it has. I’m sure it’s obvious by the way I treated you.
When I was younger, I went to therapy for a bit to process it.
I had a lot of anxiety—still do. The psychologist back then told me it was okay to have protections and backup plans to help with my anxiety. And so I collected them.”
Glenn watches me and then murmurs, “The stone you used on me?”
“The stone. Yes. And the pendant.”
He’s quiet, and I can see that he’s thinking about something. I wait for the reveal anxiously. “Did you want to leave me there in the dirt, alone?”
He chokes those words out, almost like he hates saying them. I know how much that bothered him, how much it hurt.
“I didn’t. I was just so afraid. Of the Howlers, yes. But also of you. Of myself. Of what this is between us.”
He sighs. “I get it.”
“Thank you.”
“But it hurt. Waking up without you there, knowing you left again. I wanted you the first time I scented you, and you left. And then when I opened up and let you in again, when I was vulnerable, you did it again.”
My eyes sting, and my nose feels stuffy suddenly. Swallowing, I nod. “I’m so fucking sorry, Glenn. I mean it.”
“I know.”
I nod, turning my gaze back out to the skyline, and run my finger along the windowpane.
“Honestly, I really like you, Glenn. I’m sorry I used that stone on you. I’ve just never not used it before. It was a habit, a compulsion when things get to be too much, and I feel trapped.”
“You don’t need to use it on me. If you want to leave, I’ll let you go.”
“Really?”
“Always.”
“Thank you, that’s—” I wipe at my face, feeling wetness on my cheeks. “That’s good to hear.”
Glenn reaches out, and his fingers link with mine. We’re standing apart, but I hold on to him desperately.
“So, I’m assuming you don’t need to be knotted during your heats. It won’t kill you to not take it?”
“Right, I can get by with a serum and a dildo, but it’s so nice to be with someone during it. It’s less painful, more calming.”
Glenn rolls his lips between his teeth. “Got it.”
“I just… The trauma from my parents, Vince being an asshole, and not knowing who I really am. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. But I think I’m beginning to realize that everything they taught me to believe may be wrong.”
“Some deprogramming needs to happen?”
“Yeah.”
I squeeze his hand, and his thumb brushes over my skin, making me shiver.
“You smell so fucking good. Like coconut and peach,” he breathes, and I reach up to fiddle with the pendant on my neck.
“You’re not supposed to think that.”
“I can think whatever the fuck I want.”
He eyes the necklace I’m wearing. “Take it off.”
I hesitate, my fingers freezing against the chain. “It’s supposed to quell the scent.”
“Take it off,” he says lowly.
“It will get really strong. Potent. You’ll hate it. Everyone hates it.”
“I fucking won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
He pulls me closer, his hand moving into my hair, pulling my head back gently, his nose sliding up my neck.
“Take it the fuck off, Arbor.”
My trembling hands move, unclasping it and handing it to Glenn. He folds it in his palm and then tosses it aside. My scent drifts up from my body, the coconut and peach growing stronger, mixing with honey and vanilla. Like a candle at the end of its rope.
Potent. Extreme. Almost too much.
“That’s so fucking nice.”
His hand tightens in my hair, and he licks up my skin. “Like dessert. How could anyone not want to smell this day in and day out?”
“No one likes it. No one.”
“I do.”
I almost can’t believe it, but the way he inhales, the way he licks and bites along my skin as if my entire body is a treat, makes hope flicker to life inside of me.
Maybe he’s telling the truth. Maybe he really does love it.
Then he pulls away, panting.
“Fuck, if I keep going, I’m going to fuck you right here against this window.”
“You should.”
“It’s not why I came here. Not why I stayed over.”
“I know.”
He inhales deeply. “But fuck if you’re not tempting.”
His eyes drag across my body, and I shiver, feeling my slick wetting my thighs.
My hands move up to the pane of glass before me, and I arch my hips out, knowing I’m just in my underwear, that the shape of it reveals the bottom of my ass, the round globes.
He exhales slowly, and I hear his bones crack slightly.
“You drive me fucking crazy.”
I meet his stare, and he inhales deeply once more, his chest expanding.
“You can have me.”
He growls, and then he’s behind me, his fingers grabbing the fabric of my underwear and tearing it from me. The sting of it against my skin, the groan he gives when he sees my pale ass pushed out toward him.
His hands spread me open, and I feel his cock push inside. The wheeze that leaves me, my sweaty hands sliding down the panes of glass as he shoves his cock into me, is almost too loud to my ears. Everything is swimming—my vision, my body. I’m drowning in him.
His hips slap against mine, and then he rips my shirt off me, his face going into my neck, licking my skin.
“You taste so fucking good. I don’t want you wearing that pendant again.”
I say nothing, even though my heart flutters at his demand. I can’t promise that. I can’t. My scent is a burden I need to bear. It would be easier if it were gone.
His teeth graze up the tendon in my neck, and I arch back, feeling the pull of his cock inside of me.
“Please, Alpha. Please.”
“You want me to fuck you? Right here? Right where anyone could see?”