Chapter Thirty-Eight
Thirty-eight
Sunny
On Wednesday, the hospital released Papa. I’d meant to text Bane about seeing her in person to talk, because there were things I needed to tell her and it couldn’t be done over the phone, but there was a lot happening on release day. Paperwork, detailed discharge instructions, medications to pick up along with recovery-specific items Papa needed, getting him showered and settled, cleaning, cooking, serving, stocking…
I was exhausted and stressed, even though he was better. Even though my mother and sisters were here to help. Despite all of that, I took as much of the load upon myself as possible.
That night, I slept at my parents’ house. Tossing and turning and walking to their bedroom in the middle of the night to make sure everything was well. Now that things were settled and my levels of stress had simmered, I went to the guest bedroom and crashed. With an arm over my head, I automatically took the phone to call Bane.
But it was nearing midnight. She was probably asleep.
I yawned, my eyelids heavy with exhaustion.
Tomorrow. I would definitely call her tomorrow.
The following day, Papa was feeling well enough to eat at the table with everyone, instead of everyone eating in random chairs around him in his bedroom.
Because there were no secrets between Papa and Ma, our first family dinner together, with my sisters present, Ma looked me dead in the eye and asked, “So when are you bringing Bhanu to dinner, huh?”
I froze in midbite, my sisters gawking.
Papa elbowed me and said, “Go ahead. Tell your sisters about this”—he furrowed his brows as if trying to make out the words—“fake girlfriend with real feelings.”
“What is he talking about?” Sheila asked.
“Nothing,” I muttered.
“Fake girlfriend sounds like some rom-com plot that you better spill the tea on right now,” Sienna pressed.
“And by far the most interesting thing you’ve ever done!” Sheila added.
I couldn’t believe my parents just outed everything to my sisters, but here we were. The house had been so quiet and solemn since Papa was in the hospital. Now, an uproar of laughter, questions, and adamant demands to see pictures tore through our silent woes, bringing joy back into this house.
“I don’t have pictures of her.”
“I have a picture!” Papa declared.
“How do you have a picture?” I asked as he went for his phone.
“You know we learned to screenshot,” Ma said.
And yep, true to her declaration, my mother had taken several screenshots of Bane and zoomed in. Because, as it turned out, not only had Sejal shown them her picture but had flipped the camera once or twice on the boat.
And, of course, Sejal had sent them pictures of the wedding, to which they’d promptly found Bane in a few shots. She might’ve expertly dodged the official photographers, but not so much the personal cameras.
Bane had not only become friend approved, but family requested.
“Video-call her!” Sienna insisted.
“Absolutely not,” I grunted. Not when I had no idea where we stood.
I’d been pacing back and forth in the guest room, trying to figure out what to say to Bane and why it was suddenly difficult to talk to her. Too many days had passed, and I knew we’d parted in a flustered way. It was like calling a woman a month after the first date. Awkward. Pathetic.
Why hadn’t she returned any of my messages? Would she tell me we were back in the real world, where we didn’t text or chat?
Hope you had a good first week back.
Did you catch up with work?
How’s it going?
I miss you.
Hello.
Hey.
Hi.
I settled on: I hope you’re doing well.
Pitiful. Also painful because she left me on READ. Again. Shit. Was she upset with me? Was it about how things went down on Sunday? Or was she as busy as I was?
Yet on this dreary Friday morning when things had settled down with Papa’s health and I was able to return to my usual immersed role at work, I couldn’t help but sit in my parents’ house and stare at Bane during a virtual meeting. My heart palpitated. Indisputably, she still did wild, euphoric things to me. And damn, how I missed her.
She had her hair in a big bun on top of her head and was back in her favorite burnt orange cardigan. I assumed it was her favorite because she wore it every other day. And eating waffles. Just like normal.
I DMd her.
Those waffles look good. You gonna share?
She took another bite, her gaze skimming her screen. I knew when she’d read my message because her mouth twitched. I was dying for her comeback, something along the lines of: Come over then.
Instead, she told me to pay attention.
Brutal.
It probably wasn’t the best idea to tell Bane, at this point in our quick-death chats, that my family wanted to meet her.
I had to get back to work, delving into Jira and master branches of code, only to be pulled away with a phone call. I had my camera and microphone off but went into an adjacent room to answer.
When the HR manager offered me the role of PM, I was staring at the window, confused. They’d increased the salary to more than what I’d originally intended to ask for, leaving little room for negotiating.
“Am I your first choice?” I asked point-blank.
The HR manager sighed on the other end. “We can’t discuss that.”
I thanked HR for the incredible offer and asked for the weekend to consider before hanging up. Overcome with dread, I called Bane. Bane didn’t answer her phone, so I left a message.
“I just want to make sure that you’re okay. Can we talk? I have some things to tell you. I wanted to speak in person, but I’d take anything right now. Call me back.”
Maybe DMing through work chat and texting her was overkill, but this silence, this avoidance, this true return to reality…hell no. I wasn’t having it. Not unless she told me this was what she wanted in crystal-clear words to my face.
Had our company truly not offered her the role? Was she devastated? Had she applied elsewhere? Where would a new job take her? Away from me?
Shit. I couldn’t let her slip away, not without a proper discussion. Communication, right?
Sejal and I had diverted to such opposite paths that it was a miracle we’d ever been together in the first place. Our relationship was circumstantial and had fit our needs. It was a relationship of convenience. Our communication wasn’t the best. We’d grown apart, and that was fine.
But Bane? She had a way about her that made it easier for me to open up. I wanted to tell her things. I wanted to do things with her and for her. I wanted to be romantic and watch her light up, to push her buttons and get a rise out of her. I yearned for her comebacks and rebuttals. They, for a long time, had put a secret, quiet smile in me. Bane did that, without ever meaning to or demanding it. It just happened. Naturally. Organically. The way designers always said the user’s experience through a website should happen, as if they were made for each other and so perfect that they didn’t even know it was happening.
Bane and I happened, and I hadn’t even realized it.
Bane and I…went together like UX design and UX coding. One was beautiful and thought-out, thought-provoking with an interface arousing ideal emotions and actions. The other was meticulous and detailed, seemingly an endless facade of tedious work that brought ideas to life as smooth working interactions.
Bane needed to know how she made me feel, how normal and comfortable, how present and enough I felt. She needed to know how one look from her undid me. How she had my emotions all wrapped up and unraveled at the same time.
Her touch lingered on my skin, in my memories, despite how long it’d been, despite the distance between us. I could still taste her sweetness on my lips, knew the softness of her every curve, memorized the floral and fruity scents of her body tucked against mine. She fit perfectly against me. She was perfect for me.
And she needed to know.