The Detective’s Hidden Heart (Asphalt Bay Pack #11)

Chapter 1

The air from the fan cools the sweat on my overheated skin, left there by the nightmare I woke up from a while ago. Unable to go back to sleep, I’ve lain here for hours, watching the night sky turn to gray as the sun rose through my window and thinking about what’ll happen in the week to come.

My best friend, my fated mate, and the love of my life is marrying someone else.

I’ve known Jareth was meant to be mine for a very long time.

I was sixteen when he moved in next door to me after his mother met and mated his stepfather, and as soon as I scented him, my whole world changed.

Normally, shifters can’t recognize their mates before the age of eighteen, but for some reason I did, and I made a decision that I’ve regretted ever since.

Because Jareth is human and we’re the same age, I decided to keep the news to myself and wait until we were older before revealing the truth of what we are to each other.

Instead, I focused on our friendship and did my best to keep my feelings for him hidden.

What I didn’t count on was Jareth being straighter than an arrow and a serial monogamist who falls in love quickly and jumps from one relationship to the next almost immediately.

For the past fifteen years, since we both graduated college, me with a criminal justice degree and him with a teaching certificate, I’ve tried to tell him the truth.

That we’re fated mates and meant to be together.

But every time I do, he’s either nursing a broken heart from a failed relationship or jumping right into a new one.

Despite the bond between us, I don’t want to be his rebound, so when his relationships end, I always give him time to heal from them before trying to broach the subject of the mate bond.

However, by the time I finally get the chance to bring it up, he’s usually met someone new and started the process all over again, being all too happy to share everything about the new woman in his life.

He’s my best friend, and him being happy makes me happy, but hearing about it still flays me open every time, though I do my best not to show it.

And now I’m too late because he’s getting married.

I should’ve seen it coming, considering Ashley has lasted longer than the rest of the women he’s dated, but a part of me still held out hope.

I was devastated when he told me he planned to propose, but years of being a police officer and now a detective have given me the ability to maintain a poker face when internally my emotions are out of control.

So, instead of telling him the truth, I kept my mouth shut, said I was happy for him, and left it at that.

Then, like a glutton for punishment, I agreed to be his best man.

Now the wedding is just around the corner, and I’m not sure I’m going to make it.

My wolf has seen the writing on the wall like I have and has already started pining away, grieving the loss of the bond.

It’s been over a month and a half since I last shifted because my wolf is so depressed, and I’m in a near-constant state of agony.

Body aches and the lack of sleep are wearing me down.

I feel like I’m being constantly ground into dust.

Thankfully, it hasn’t affected my job yet.

I’m one of only two detectives on the Asphalt Bay Police Force, so I need to be on top of my game.

Despite Asphalt Bay being a small town, the recent lab situation and how big of a thing it was have basically put the town on the map.

So on top of all the rescued paranormals the pack took in, we’ve got people flocking in because they’ve discovered Asphalt Bay is a great place to live and Declan’s a very tolerant, accepting alpha, which is a huge selling point for a lot of people.

The downside is that with the influx of new people, there’s been an uptick in crime that Asphalt Bay hasn’t seen before.

Likewise, the department has been given an increase in budget by Declan so we can hire more officers since there are only six people with badges in the entire department.

With the influx of people, there’s been a need for more housing, not just on pack lands but in town as well.

I’ve been dealing with construction noises nearby for over a month now since a housing development is being built practically at my back door.

When I started working for the police department, I bought a little two-bedroom bungalow off Main Street, right outside town, to be closer to the department.

My plan was to live here until Jareth and I claimed each other, then have a bigger place built for us on pack land for when we started a family since both of us have always wanted kids.

Though that dream will never happen now.

Once Jareth is married, I’ll have to cut all ties with him.

It’s going to hurt us both, but with how I feel, I don’t know if I’m going to survive.

Wolves rejected by their mates can usually keep going as long as they have a support system and a desire to live.

Neither of which I have, because my support system, made up of family and pack, is tied to Jareth, and my will to live is going to be gone the second he says, “I do.” Maybe it would be different if I had someone else to live for, like a child of my own.

Then I’d be okay if I moved away from Asphalt Bay and everything I’ve ever known and loved.

But since I don’t, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I know I could come clean instead of continuing like this, but I don’t want to be the guy who ruins someone’s relationship to make myself feel better.

It would be selfish of me, and I can’t do that to Jareth when he’s so happy.

Sometimes, I wish Ashley would cheat or do something equally horrible, so he’d end it and give me a final chance to tell him about the bond between us.

But then I feel like the biggest asshole for even thinking such a thing and have to berate myself.

I do plan to leave if I make it through this upcoming week.

I’ve already packed most of my things and explained my situation to my chief at work when I requested a transfer to Rockydale’s department since it’s farther north than Coal Springs or Venetian Hills.

If I’m going to try and force myself to make it through this alone, I’m going to need the distance to do it.

I’ve already started distancing myself from those around me because the situation is taking its toll, and it’s starting to become pretty obvious that something is wrong with me.

I’ve lost weight due to my appetite being practically nonexistent, and the shadows under my eyes have only been getting darker due to lack of sleep.

I’m exhausted. Each time I go to bed, I only manage a couple of hours of sleep before the nightmares wake me up.

Since my wolf started pining away for Jareth, I’ve been dreaming of losing him in every unimaginable way that happens to be a million times worse than him marrying Ashley.

If I could go back to just having erotic dreams about him instead, that would be great, because I’d take waking up hard and aching for him over waking in a cold sweat from sheer terror any day of the week.

A knock on my front door has me groaning.

Fuck, I’m not ready for this. Rolling out of bed, I have to take a couple of deep breaths as pain shoots through my body when I stand up.

Gritting my teeth, I shuffle-walk into my bathroom and turn on the shower as Jareth’s voice carries from the front room.

“Hey, asshole, you’d better not still be in bed! ”

Gods, why did I agree to this? I’m about to spend the next hour in an enclosed space with him because he thought it would be a great idea for us to ride to the wedding venue together.

They’re having it at the Smith Mountain Resort in Coal Springs, and there’s a whole event itinerary before the official ceremony on Saturday.

It’s basically a weeklong event, and I’m fucking dreading every second of it.

I should’ve told him no, but my sad ass wants to soak in every minute with him that I can, even if it’s agonizing as fuck.

Stepping under the scalding-hot spray, I let it soak into my bones to ease some of the soreness before I quickly wash up.

When I’m done, I grab my towel and wrap it around my hips.

Grabbing a second towel, I use it to start drying off.

Jareth is sitting on the bed when I open the bathroom door.

The grin on his face disappears as soon as he sees me, and he asks, “You okay, Rex? You don’t look so good. ”

Pasting a smile on my face, I lie through my teeth, “I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well,” as I walk into the closet to get dressed, taking care to keep my tattoo hidden from him.

“Bad case?”

“Yep.” Another lie. The only bad case I’ve had recently was for a serial rapist in town, and I handed it off to Mack, the other detective on the force, when I put in for my transfer to Rockydale.

I got word at three a.m. that an arrest was made, but Jareth doesn’t need to know I wasn’t involved in making said arrest. I actually haven’t been doing anything but patrolling like a regular officer for the last week since I put in my papers.

Pulling on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I grab a pair of socks and walk back into the bedroom.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I put them on, then stuff my feet into my boots, then lace them up.

Jareth puts a hand on my shoulder and asks, “Want to talk about it?” I let myself savor his touch for a beat before shrugging his hand off. You’re torturing yourself, you idiot.

“Not really. The case is pretty much closed now that the suspect is in custody.”

He smiles at me, and it hits me in the heart.

Fuck, he’s so damn beautiful. Jareth has light-brown hair down past his shoulders that he likes to keep pulled back in a bun, and what I call an angel face because of his angular jawline and sugary-sweet smile.

His skin is pale because the poor man burns when in the sun for too long.

He doesn’t tan no matter what he tries. The green sweater he’s wearing brings out the mossy color of his eyes, and his black jeans hug everything he has perfectly.

Stop it, Drexel. Ogling him isn’t helping you right now. “I’m glad you caught them.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Grabbing my duffel bag from the floor by my bedroom door, I ask, “Ready to go?”

Jareth nods. “I bought you breakfast and a large coffee from the new shop in town you like. I left it on the kitchen table. I know how you get when you don’t have enough caffeine.”

I conjure up a smile, praying it doesn’t look too much like a grimace, and tell him, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Jareth grins and laughs. “No problem. I knew you’d probably still be in bed when I got here and would be rushing around trying to get ready instead of taking the time to eat and drink since you love your sleep.”

Chuckling, because he’s got me pegged, I head for the kitchen, snatching the bag of what smells like a mouthwatering breakfast sandwich and coffee from the table as I pass it.

Then, realizing I forgot my keys, wallet, and phone on my nightstand, I turn to go back and get them only for Jareth to hand them to me.

Stuffing them in my pockets with a muttered “Thanks,” I head out the door toward Jareth’s truck parked behind my unmarked police-issue SUV that I’ll have to return to the department when I leave.

Thankfully, I’ve got a vehicle of my own in my garage, or I’d be worried about my escape plan.

Tossing my bag in the back seat, I climb in on the passenger side and pull my sandwich from the bag.

It’s got everything I love on it, and despite my lack of appetite, I’m going to force myself to eat it because Jareth got it for me.

Jareth gets in the truck and cranks it up.

A man’s voice saying he’d rather drink a hot beer comes blaring through the speakers at a decibel high enough to make my ears hurt, and I chuckle.

He can’t do without his country music. Reaching for the volume switch, I turn it down slightly and take a swig of my coffee before setting it in the cupholder.

Jareth backs out of the driveway, and we’re off.

I take my time eating because if I keep my mouth occupied, I don’t have to talk and also because I run the risk of throwing it back up if I eat too fast since I can’t remember the last time I actually ate something.

It’s probably been a couple of days, if I’m truly honest. Instead, Jareth does the talking, going over everything that’s planned for this week even though I already know.

His excitement is clear, and it only makes my heart ache more and my wolf whimper in my mind.

It’s okay, buddy, we’ll get through this somehow. I hope.