Chapter 3
I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have been so short with Jareth, but I really didn’t want to discuss the nightmare I had.
Because if I opened up about what’s going on with the nightmares, I’d have to be open about everything else too.
Including the fact we’re mates and how I’m not sure I can go on living without him since he’s already chosen Ashley.
Finishing off my cigarette, I put the butt out on my boot and toss it into the trash can in the cabin’s kitchen.
I’ve never liked the smell or taste of tobacco, but these cigarettes are special.
I got them from Tiberius, who owns a magic shop in Rockydale.
They’re made with special herbs and laced with a spell that’s supposed to be calming, so they don’t even taste like real cigarettes and also don’t have the side effects.
I only smoke one when the nightmare I’ve had is particularly awful and I can’t calm down.
I originally got cigarettes that would help me sleep, but with the nightmares, I stopped using them.
Thanks to the sleep aid in them being so strong I struggled to wake myself up, I decided it was better to go without sleep than to be trapped in the nightmare, unable to do anything but suffer through it.
It was horrifying. So, I switched to ones that would calm me down instead.
Now that the pain I’m dealing with has gotten worse, I’ve added ones that help with that too.
Though I try not to use them too much because they can also dull my senses.
The one I just smoked is a vanilla raspberry blend that is pretty strong, which I’m glad for because it covers the taste of vomit. I’m lucky Jareth didn’t walk up when I was losing my breakfast, because he definitely wouldn’t have let me go without an explanation then.
Just thinking about the nightmare I had in his truck has a shiver running down my spine.
In it, Jareth was taken by a faceless madman I was investigating, and the guy taunted me with daily videos of Jareth being tortured in the most excruciating ways.
By the time I caught up with the guy, Jareth was already dead, and discovering his mutilated body was why I woke up.
Things are so bad for me, I can’t even get peace from sleeping surrounded by his scent.
How long will this torment go on for? If it continues even after the wedding is over, I don’t know if I’ll be able to take it.
If this is what happens to all paranormals pining for a mate, then it’s no wonder some go feral.
I’d give up my humanity, too, if it was the only way to get away from the horrific dreams and daily agony.
Heading over to the bed, I drop my bag on the floor near the footboard before collapsing on the rustic-chic flannel comforter face first. The cabin is gorgeous.
Jareth and Ashley chose well when they decided on this resort for their wedding.
The cabin’s all open layout with exposed logs and beams that’ve been stained a dark mahogany.
It’s only got the one bed since every person in the wedding party has their own individual cabin.
Something I’m glad for, because sharing with me would’ve been hell on whoever was unlucky enough to draw that straw.
I was surprised when Jareth told me each cabin had a full kitchen, but with this being an exclusive luxury resort, I probably shouldn’t have been.
Not that I’ll need the kitchen, since I didn’t bring any kind of food with me.
Maybe I should’ve. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about my lack of an appetite being obvious to everyone.
As it stands, I’ll have to either order room service or face Jareth in the main dining hall.
Considering he’s got the next two days packed with activities for us to do together, eating with him is going to be mostly unavoidable.
Unless I flake on everything he’s got set up.
Which I could do, if I had it in me to deny myself this last little bit of time with him before he gets married.
Since I don’t, I’m going to have to suck it up and pray I make it through this week without breaking down and telling him everything.
I’m not sure I’ll be successful. Especially since he already suspects something’s wrong with me.
He’s going to be needling at me every chance he gets.
One thing I can say about Jareth is when he sets his mind to something, he doesn’t give up easily, and I’ve got a feeling finding out what’s wrong with me is about to become his sole focus.
I should start unpacking instead of just lying here, but I don’t have the energy for it.
I’d take a nap, but then I’d probably have another nightmare and end up even more exhausted than I already am.
With a sigh, I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.
There’s a deer-antler chandelier hanging right above the bed, and I can’t help but wonder why someone thought to put a light fixture there when the entire cabin is an open floor plan and there’s plenty of overhead lighting throughout the space.
The only thing blocked by a wall is the room I assume to be the bathroom.
Honestly, this cabin looks like something out of one of those million-dollar home magazines, making it obvious that the resort owners spared no expense when it came to the comfort of their guests.
Not only is the color scheme in here perfect, but the fact they also have a fire going in the fireplace gives the entire place a warm, inviting feeling.
It’s almost like coming home. Though that’s probably a silly thought to have.
I’ve always wanted to live in a log cabin and even had blueprints drawn up by an architect of what my dream home would look like.
The plan was to get Jareth’s input on them before having it built on the outskirts of pack land, deeper into the forest so we’re not on top of everyone else, once I finally confessed everything to him.
Aaand I really need to stop dwelling on shit that’ll never happen.
It’s not doing me any good. In fact it’s only making my heart hurt worse.
Rubbing at the ache in my chest that seems to be ever present now, I sigh again and try to summon the energy to get up and unpack.
Normally, I’m not one to do so, preferring to just live out of my suitcase when I’m traveling, but since I’ll be here for a week, I figure I’ll actually put my stuff away this time.
Even if the thought of not having everything in my bag to make escape easy if I decide I need to take off in a hurry makes me want to panic.
Or puke. Though that might be the remnants of the nightmare still fresh in my mind making me nauseous.
Sliding off the bed, I unzip my bag and start putting my clothes in one of the drawers of the dresser that’s against the wall, under the window.
Once that’s done, I grab my toiletries and take them into the bathroom.
It doesn’t even take ten minutes for me to finish, and I’m left with nothing to do.
Jareth wants to meet back up at lunchtime in the dining hall before we go check on things for the wedding.
I don’t know why we’re doing so now since the wedding isn’t until the weekend and there’s no way anything will be set up yet, but Ashley wanted him to make sure the resort staff and their wedding planner had everything under control, so that’s what we’re doing.
Then it’ll be time for our first excursion: spearfishing.
I’m not sure why he decided we should go spearfishing in the afternoon instead of early in the morning, but I’ll go along with it. And everything else he’s got planned.
Hobbling into the living room, I grab the remote for the TV that’s been left on the coffee table next to a fan of pamphlets and a complimentary fruit basket.
Turning on the TV, I grab the list of channels from the pamphlet stack and immediately change it to the True Crime channel.
An old episode of Dateline is on, and even though I’ve already seen it, I don’t change the channel.
Picking up the other pamphlets, I sort through them, seeing they’re for excursions and other amenities the resort offers.
If I had any free time outside of the wedding shit this week, I’d probably do a couple of these on my own.
Especially the ravine zip line one. It sounds thrilling.
Maybe I’ll come back one day and do all the things I didn’t get to this week. If I survive, that is.
Putting the pamphlets back on the table, I kick off my boots and lie down on the couch.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I set an alarm for a few minutes before I need to leave to meet Jareth just in case and toss it onto the table as well.
Resting my head on my arm, I settle in for a Dateline marathon.