Chapter 50 Zahra
ZAHRA
Two weeks later.
"You're going to have to talk to him eventually, you know," I chastise, as Declan draws idle circles on my back while we lay in bed.
"I've literally talked to him every day since we got back," Declan counters.
"You've spent five minutes each day asking if he's healing okay from the bullet wound and whether he wants Maura to send over any more casseroles. When that's done, you head straight home, play with Cody for an hour, and then distract yourself with sex," I summarize.
Declan narrows his eyes. "Making love to my wife is anything but a distraction. And if I remember correctly, you were the one who begged me to 'fuck you so hard you'd feel me for a month.'"
I shrug. I'd never be ashamed of anything Declan and I do or say to each other. And he loved it. "All I'm saying is you haven't had any hard conversations with Aidan yet, and you can't keep avoiding it forever."
"I know. I just get so mad every time I'm alone with him.
And then I feel guilty for getting upset because he did save your life.
I don't know what to do. I want to forgive him, but he's also why your life and his were endangered in the first place.
" He buries his head into my chest, as I stroke his hair.
"I can't tell you what to do when it comes to forgiveness.
But what I can say is, it's okay if it takes time.
Or if you're never able to forget what he's done.
I just want you to be honest with yourself about it.
And know that I'm here for you." I sigh as he drags his stubble across my bare breasts.
He brings one of my nipples to his mouth and sucks on it hard.
I moan in response to his touch, then push him off me, laughing at the pouty expression on his face. "Did you even hear me?"
"Of course I did, I just get easily distracted by how beautiful you are." He smirks as I roll my eyes and slide out of bed. "Where are you going?"
"We have a meeting we're already running late to," I remind him. One that would potentially change the course of our lives.
He knows how nervous I've been about this, so instead of begging me to come back to bed, he stands up, places a kiss on my forehead, and gives me a reassuring hug. "Everything will work itself out. I promise."
Instead of meeting in the dining room at my father's mansion, we called our inner circles to the living room of our cottage. If we were going to start a new era of the Persian and Irish empires, we needed to build new traditions. My only hope is that everyone else will be on board.
Declan and I walk into the room hand in hand.
He stiffens slightly at seeing his brother on the couch, sitting next to Lorkan, but keeps his expression calm.
I’m the one who asked for Aidan to be here.
If Lorkan's brash ways could be overlooked, given that his morals were actually aligned with my father and Cillian. I think it’s fair to give Aidan a second chance, given that he was being blackmailed by the man who had manipulated all of us.
I'm not sure Declan fully agrees with my perspective but he supported me nonetheless.
"Thank you all for coming. As you all know by now, my father and Cillian had a plan for both of our families. A plan where we would be less exposed to violence and treachery by removing ourselves from any illegal trades. We would shift to our main products being tea, whiskey, and surveillance technology designed for the average family, maybe larger corporations that align with our new goals, but no more gun trades. No more hacking into our enemies’ databases and exposing their weaknesses.
We would live a normal life. Or at least we would try to return to normal business.
But only if we all agree," I state, locking eyes with each person in the room.
Azula's eyebrows knit together. "What?"
"While my father and Cillian's plans were well-intended, they failed to consider those working for them and what they may feel.
This would be a big shift, one we want to make, but only if our inner circles are in agreement.
The transition won't be easy; we'll likely have to change our spending patterns.
And neither of us is naive enough to think the other mafia will just leave us alone, so security will have to remain tight, if not even higher than before.
But we plan on keeping everyone who wants to remain working for us.
We have enough funds in our bank accounts to support all our employees for the foreseeable future.
" I lay out all the logistics before finally taking a deep breath.
"You're really serious about this?" Azula looks like she's going into shock.
"I am. We are." I correct, squeezing Declan's hand. "But only if everyone else is on board. If not, we'll just continue to keep business as usual. Or as usual as it can be."
Before I killed Cyrus, we'd tortured everything we could have out of him—the names of all the people in our ranks who had betrayed us, what other mafias had supported his attempt at usurping me and Declan, and all the other lies he's told us.
While things still didn't feel fully settled, we at least felt comfortable enough knowing everyone who betrayed us was either dead or would be soon.
Azula stands. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Privately."
I follow her out into the hall and wait for her to start. "Why are you doing this, Z? This is going to change everything."
"I know, but I feel it in my heart that this is what we should do. It's what my dad would have wanted. I only wish he was alive to see it." Though there was a strong part of me that feels he’s looking over me now, that he’s proud of what I’m trying to do.
Azula looks like she's...nervous. An expression that doesn’t belong on her face.
"What is it, Azula? Tell me."
"Your new life… I don't fit in. All I know is destruction. All I am is a killer," she grits through her teeth, head hanging down in shame.
My heart aches for my best friend. Is that really how she sees herself?
I bring her into my arms, squeezing her into a hug.
"Azula, you are fierce, and strong, and so freaking brilliant.
There is no version of my life where you don't fit perfectly in it.
We'll just have to adjust. Learn how to fix our problems with words and not knives," I tease.
"Lame," she retorts, returning my hug. "Thanks, Zahra. I needed that."
"Anytime."
We return to the room, Azula is the first to speak. “Zahra has my full support. No questions asked. Always and forever.” She smiles at me, though I can still see a hint of hesitation in her eyes. Change takes time to adjust to. But we would have each other.
Lorkan swallows hard, toying anxiously with the cuffs of his sleeve, “This is all your fathers wanted. All the three of us wanted. And yet…I can’t say I ever believed for certain it would happen.
Or that I would be alive to see it carried out.
” Lorkan smiles at me, though it doesn’t quite meet the pain in his eyes, “I’m in favor of working toward this new future.
I just wish Naser and Cillian were here to see it. ”
My throat tightens, and I nod at Lorkan, knowing if I speak, my voice would crack and reveal my lingering grief. Declan grabs my elbow as a subtle reminder that he’s here. A reminder that we’re in this together.
Arman is the next to speak. “You and your family have always had my unwavering support.”
“You are my family, Arman,” I correct, placing a hand on his shoulder.
I turn to Connor, who was recently promoted to Declan's head of security, given how valuable he was in rescuing me.
He blinks, “I get a vote?”
“You’re a part of our inner circle now,” Declan confirms.
“Then I vote yes.” Connor smiles awkwardly, clearly not expecting any of this.
The final person left is Aidan, who is still recovering from his injury.
Declan looks down at his shoes as Aidan addresses me, “First, I want to apologize to you, Zahra. And to my brother. For all the pain I’ve caused you both.
I will do whatever I can to make up for it.
Second, I am fully on board to start a new life.
I think we all agree the mafia world has taken enough from us. ”
“Yes, it certainly has. I accept your apology, Aidan. The second you took the bullet for me, I considered us even.” Which was true. Declan’s forgiveness was a separate case. One I couldn’t force.
Aidan’s face falls as he realizes the same.
“Alright then, let’s end here. We can ask our various financial officers join us for a meeting soon where we can plot out making this transition as smoothly as possible.”
I lean my head against Declan's shoulder as everyone leaves. He gives my waist a quick squeeze before standing up from the couch. "I have something I want to show you. I've been working on it for a while."
He leads me outside, then has me cover my eyes with my hands, keeping a hand on my waist to guide me through our backyard.
"Alright, you can open your eyes," he hums, standing behind me, arms wrapped around me.
My eyes take a second to adjust to the light before I take in the scenery in front of me—a cobblestone walkway that leads to an adorable stone bench at the end.
The next thing I notice are the rows of rose bushes that frame the path, a mix of mine and my father's favorites.
"I know this probably pales in comparison to the rose garden you grew up with but I figured we could start here and make it your own over time. "
"It's perfect. Everything about this is perfect.
" Tears start to form in my eyes as I take in the sheer beauty of the garden.
Take in what Declan has made for me. We walk hand in hand down the aisle, stopping every now and then to smell the blossoming roses, until we sit on the bench, Declan pulling me onto his lap.
"This must have taken so long to put together. When did you start?" I ask.
"Right after our meeting in your father's rose garden." He blushes.
"I hated you then. I was still convinced you'd killed my father," I groan, embarrassed at myself.
"I know, but I couldn't get you out of my head. Couldn't shake the feeling that we always belonged to each other." He presses his warm lips to my cheek.
"We brought each other out of the darkness and into the light. What greater life is there than one filled with love?" I ask, cupping his face in my hands.
"To living life. And choosing love," he declares, locking our lips together. I relish his touch, the scent of the roses around us, and the warm, gentle glow of the sun, which shines nearly as bright as the love we have for each other.