Chapter 3 #2
He gripped my cheeks and pulled me in to crush his mouth to mine. I opened up, letting his tongue tangle with my own, but no sooner had the kiss started than he broke away to shove my front against the end of the couch, bending me over the arm. I barely caught myself on the cushions.
“I wish you’d worn something easier to get into,” he griped as he tugged at my underwear and tights under my skirt.
I stayed on my hands with my back end pushed out toward him, waiting and hoping to feel … something. Some sort of heat or furious hunger, but no. There was nothing. I just stood there like a person waiting on rain during a drought.
Bradley finally got my panties and tights pulled down around my knees with my skirt lifted, but even when he shoved his dick into me, all I felt was the burn of him entering and the brief promise of more. Six pumps later, he finished with a hard gasp.
Yeah. Six.
I’d started counting a couple years back. It was more entertaining than anything we were actually doing.
“Damn,” he groaned, panting against my back like he’d just run a marathon. “Your sweet hole just feels so good on my steel sword.”
He pulled out with a wet pop, and I tried not to squirm against the feeling of his cum seeping back out. Thankfully, I had an IUD, because I didn’t want kids. Ever. Another thing we didn’t agree on these days.
He slapped my bare ass. “You can clean up in the bathroom.”
Tears brimmed my eyes, but I quickly dipped into the restroom before Bradley could see them.
“Don’t cry, Serenity,” I whispered to myself as I moved about the bathroom.
Sex sucked, and the truth of that always made my eyes burn after each and every time.
Books, movies, and others I’d heard in passing conversation always described it as this amazing thing that felt so good, yet my reality was far from that.
I’d never felt an explosion of pleasure or even an intense arousal for Bradley.
The lack of romance and affection involved in what I thought would be a precious act made my throat ache with the threat of tears.
It frustrated me that this was all sex was—a quick six pumps and then a slap on the ass with a suggestion to clean myself up.
Or maybe, this was all sex with Bradley was.
That thought always made the tears want to run freely, because Bradley was my future.
Bradley was my partner. He was all I knew and would ever know.
I often grappled with the fact that I’d never know real sex or sensual affection, and that made the ugly darkness always lurking inside of me grow bigger.
I wanted passion.
I wanted to feel real desire and to be desired.
But maybe those things were just fantasies.
By the time I finished cleaning up and ensuring that my eyes weren’t red with the threat of lonely tears, my phone dinged with an alert that my ride was here.
“Get home safely, Dollface,” Bradley said at the door.
He pulled me in for a hug and a quick kiss on the lips before holding the door open for me. My heart twisted on my way out of his apartment building, and that same bitter question swirled around inside of me.
Was this really all love was? Getting dressed up for once, yet not even getting a second-look from him? Coming out to see him, only to be sent home alone?
I sighed and slumped into the backseat of the car. I leaned my head against the cold window and stared up at the distant stars.
Sometimes I craved to join them. Sometimes I wanted to leap into the air and soar high to exist among the glittering gems in the midnight sky. Anything to not be here with these feelings of wanting and hoping, only to be met with defeating loneliness.
The car pulled into the parking lot of Oakley’s, and after tipping the driver, I got out.
The December night air had cold pinpricks coasting along my bare shoulders, my chest, and legs.
Had the skirt, fishnet tights, and off-the-shoulder top been the smartest thing to wear out?
Probably not, but I felt cute in the outfit.
For once. It wasn’t often that I felt good about my reflection.
As I neared my car, a boom of obnoxious laughter sounded next to me. A group of people gathered around the parking spot in front of mine, and heavy dread settled in my limbs when I realized it was Bradley’s group of friends.
Marcus spotted me at the same time I did them, and his grin immediately darkened as he shouted, “Back so soon, freak?”
Courtney, Cassidy’s bimbo best friend, laughed so hard, I worried she’d sprain something. She always laughed, even when nothing funny was being said.
I ignored his taunt and the sting of their longtime nickname for me to unlock my car.
“You just missed Cassidy,” Courtney called to me, leaning into John’s side. “She had a hot date to get to.”
I curled my lip and mumbled, “As if I’d fucking care about seeing any of you guys.”
I slammed my door. Even over the rumble of the engine starting, I heard their drunken shouts.
“Run along, Fatso!”
“Go jump off a bridge already!”
“No one wants you here!”
I peeled out of the parking lot without looking back.