Chapter 11 #2
I tried not to let her words get to me. I tried reminding myself that she was talking about fiction, not me.
She didn’t know I was one of those “villains” of the world, here to encourage sin and to lure people to the darkside.
If she did know that—if she knew what I was actually trying to do by being here with her—would she still think that?
Would she still believe a demon like me deserved the happy ending that Zagan and Perseus seemed to be striving for?
Remember your place, demon, the haunting voice from my past snarled. You’re only good for mankind when you’re in chains or in someone’s bed. A demon like you will never understand happiness or love.
I blew out a breath and jumped up to cross the room to Serenity’s bookshelves. I needed to put some distance between us and the flashes of memories. Talking to her was proving to be terrible for me. Doing so sparked questions and feelings I’d long had buried and didn’t need to dig up.
I knew who I was.
I knew what I was.
I knew what humans were really like.
Getting close to them was never a good idea, and I’d never make that mistake again.
My gaze traced the many books, taking in the perfectly arranged spines and covers. “I meant it. I want you to help me do this at my place.”
She appeared at my side and scanned the many titles with me. “I’d love to. I just …” she pursed her lips and began picking at her thumb with her middle finger as it hung by her side. “I’ll have to make sure Bradley’s okay with it.”
That name leaving her lips had my face evening out and my mood darkening. I already hated the human, but I really hated her saying his goddamn name. It was a waste of her precious breath, especially when she could be using that voice to call out my name.
Her demeanor also changed with the mention of her boyfriend. She shifted on her feet and kept her gaze averted while continuing that mindless picking at her thumb. She didn’t even seem to notice when the skin on her finger broke, allowing a sliver of blood to gather by her nail.
Something had changed. She’d never gone this quiet or timid when Bradley was brought up before. The previous day and my conversation with the bastard came back to me. His cocky attitude but also fiery temper was fresh in my mind.
I reached down and grabbed Serenity’s hand. She froze and watched me raise her hand closer to my face. My brow furrowed, watching the blood gather on her thumb. I didn’t look up at her as I used my sleeve to wipe the crimson away. “Did you two fight yesterday because of me?”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she immediately declared. “He just isn’t used to me having friends, especially guy friends. But that’s his problem, not yours.”
The more I learned about him, the less I liked him—and I already didn’t like him. It made me wonder how anyone could, and before I knew it, I found myself asking, “Why do you stay with him?”
Our eyes met. Her pink lips parted to spit out what I assumed would be redeeming qualities about her boyfriend. But instead of words, there was silence. Slowly, she closed her mouth and just stared at me while I continued to hold her hand in mine.
Finally, she swallowed hard and revealed, “The monster I know is better than the one I don’t.”
The answer came in a whisper. It was like she worried the confession would somehow drift from this room to wherever Bradley was, so whispering kept them here for just the two of us.
“We’ve been together since we were fourteen,” she continued, the words coming out strained.
“He’s all I know, and … I’m afraid of starting over.
I’m afraid he’s as good as it gets, and I ruined the best relationship I could’ve had.
I’m afraid that the love I want isn’t real, so I’ll be even more alone without him. ”
I frowned. “And what if there is more? What if what you want does exist? You’re going to let fear keep you from reaching out for it?
There’s a huge world out there, Star. There’s so much you can discover about yourself if you just take that chance.
Bradley is not the best out there. I can certainly promise you that. ”
“How do I know that, though? How do I know that leaving him isn’t a huge mistake?”
I raised my free hand quickly to dismiss the idea. “You can’t—”
The minute my hand flew up to hover near our faces, she flinched away from it. We froze at the same time. Her gray eyes had doubled in size and stayed locked on my suspended hand as her breath came out hard and shaky. I couldn’t tear my own wide gaze from her panicked expression.
My blood suddenly ran hot, heating with an unfamiliar rage. “Why did you flinch?”
Serenity quickly shook her head, even as her eyes stayed trained on my hand.
Still holding her hand, I squeezed gently but firmly. “Why did you flinch when I raised my hand, Serenity?”
Her lip trembled.
I stared at the purple bruise and red gash with an all new lens. My own breath came out hard as I demanded, “Did Bradley hit you?”
She finally dropped her head and pulled her hand out from my grasp. She moved away, gathering our plates and forks to take to the kitchen. “I slipped in the shower.”
My fists clenched by my sides as the anger churning in my gut threatened my hold on my human guise. “Serenity, if he hit you—”
“I fell, Dante.” Her glassy eyes snapped up to meet mine from where she stood at the sink. “I slipped in the shower and hit my face. It was an accident.”
“Is that what he told you after he did it?” I growled, crossing the room slowly. “That it was an accident?”
Her lips pressed together, and her shoulders shook.
“A hand doesn’t raise and strike at you on its own, Serenity. That’s no accident.” I stopped right in front of her, and my eyes practically implored her to answer honestly as I asked through clenched teeth, “Did. He. Hit. You?”
She closed her eyes and kept her lips pressed together.
As her silence stretched, a new thought filled my head.
They’d fought yesterday because I’d antagonized Bradley.
I’d provoked him, and this was the aftermath.
Guilt, something I’d never experienced before, wove its icy thread around my neck, strangling me.
And Serenity is just the collateral damage.
Zagan’s words repeated like a warning siren in my head, over and over and over.
Zagan may not have known that Bradley would do this, but he’d had enough sense to know that Serenity was the one who stood to get hurt in this game I’d set into motion.
Her watery eyes finally opened again to meet mine, but this time, it was like she’d turned off her emotions. The trembling stopped, and her face had gone eerily blank as she repeated firmly, “I slipped in the shower.”
She was lying. We both knew it. I wanted to tell her that she could trust me with the truth, but …
could she? How could I demand she be honest with me when I, myself, was lying about the very truth of what I was doing here?
She couldn’t trust me, and that fact had me swallowing hard and stepping away.
I wouldn’t demand her honesty in this, but I also wouldn’t stand back and let that fucker abuse her.
Serenity thought the monster she knew was better than the one she didn’t. It was time she got well-acquainted with that unfamiliar beast.