Chapter 13
Serenity
I STARED AT MY CEILING, even though it was too dark to really see anything.
Bradley slept beside me, his even breathing the only sound filling the quiet room.
He’d dozed off halfway through the movie he’d put on, and since I wasn’t really in the mood to watch anything, I’d turned it off and tried to go to sleep.
Rest evaded me.
I glanced at the time on my phone and let out a deep sigh when I realized it was half past midnight.
A bone-deep exhaustion weighed down on me, yet sleep couldn’t even give me the decency of its mercy.
I was frustrated emotionally, mentally, and sexually with no way to deal with any of it considering the source of those problems lay right next to me.
I shook my head against my pillow and noticed a slight chill encasing my foot. Shivering, I went to tug my leg closer in order to snuggle deeper into the covers, but the limb wouldn’t move.
“What the—” I whispered and lifted my head to look toward the bottom of the bed.
I tried to move my leg again, but it was as though something had weighted it down to the mattress.
My heart began to race as a chill covered my other ankle.
I tried moving it but realized with a panicked jump of my heart that I couldn’t move it, either.
Fear squeezed my lungs, and I rushed to sit up, only to find I could no longer move anything.
The chill on my legs had climbed its way up my torso, pinning my hands and shoulders in place.
Even when I went to open my mouth to try to wake Bradley, it was like my mouth had been sealed shut so that I couldn’t call for help.
What the fuck is happening? Did I fall asleep? Is this sleep paralysis?
The questions fired rapidly in my head, one after the other, all while I lay frozen on my back. The chill covering my ankles, thighs, arms, shoulders, and mouth intensified when I suddenly felt something even colder move along my body.
I gasped softly behind my sealed lips and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. I’d felt this sensation along my skin before. It was the same whisper of a caress that touched me and caused me to climax that night after the bar.
Whatever that thing was, it was back.
My heart sped up, and air quickly rushed in and out of my nose.
The chill in the unseen force warmed as it slinked under the hem of my shirt, slithering up my torso.
At the same time, that warmth spread beneath the hem of my pants and underwear like invisible hands reaching to touch me where I suddenly ached.
That fire I’d longed to light me up while Bradely attempted to please me?
It burned at my center now, making me hunger for this silent, airy attention.
I wanted the substance to touch me everywhere.
I craved true pleasure at the hands of someone other than myself.
I longed to be consumed in this heat thrumming through my veins.
The featherlight touch seeped down between my legs at an agonizingly slow pace.
I groaned softly behind my invisible gag and closed my eyes to better focus on the feeling dragging down the seam of my pussy.
The throbbing at my center intensified, and when the phantom kiss lightly fluttered against my clit, my restrained limbs shook.
I panted hard through my nose now, fully driven crazy with need and desire. My body trembled, and I nervously glanced sideways. Bradley continued to snore softly, lost to sleep like I was starting to become lost in what was happening to me.
The foreign touch grew stronger, almost more solid as it circled around my breasts in a teasing threat. My nipples hardened beneath my shirt, and the sensation slinked up between my cleavage before spreading to engulf both budded nipples.
The touch sent a jolt down my spine to settle where more of the invisible heat moved through my core.
The substance settled all through my pussy like a second skin.
It covered everything, and that faint touch against my pulsing clit nearly made me buck off the bed.
Except the unseen force kept me rooted in place, preventing me from moving against or away from the electrifying feeling.
Every nerve ending buzzed with desire, and almost as if it could sense that, the heated touch began to move.
It curled and rubbed along both of my nipples while vibrating silently against my clit.
The combined attention had sweat breaking out on the back of my neck, and my smothered breath came out hard.
If the two feelings weren’t enough, the sensation between my legs grew until it slowly slipped inside my wet entrance.
My eyes rolled back into my head as it expanded and thickened into what could’ve been an impressive cock if this were a person.
It touched me deeper than anything ever had, and my toes curled from how amazing it felt.
I was being touched everywhere with light yet persistent grazes.
The part filling my cunt began to pull out and push back in to the rhythm at which the part on my clit vibrated and the one on my breasts rubbed.
The pleasure built at my center, making me glance at Bradley.
His face was just as peaceful as the last time I’d looked his way, and I could just barely make out his light snoring over my own desperate pants.
I knew this was dangerous. Bradley could wake up at any second and witness my flushed cheeks, trembling body, lustful moans, and dripping pussy.
But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop focusing on the delicious flicks to my clit.
I couldn’t stop pushing my breasts out in an attempt to feel more against them.
I couldn’t stop trying to meet each push into my body, despite being pressed down into the mattress with no way to move.
I couldn’t stop thinking that sex should feel like this—hot, electrifying, like every cell in your body was being destroyed and reshaped by pleasure.
I wanted more.
I wanted rough hands squeezing my breasts.
I wanted a firm tongue flicking against my clit.
I wanted to be filled by someone that wanted me.
I wanted passion with a partner that rewrote all I knew about love, affection, and sex.
The heat at my core finally mounted and rushed over the edge in a burst of ecstasy. I tilted my head back against my pillow and shook beneath my invisible bindings as I moaned behind sealed lips.
I struggled to catch my breath while the hot invisible force cooled and slowly receded from all of the places it touched me.
The pressure on my legs, arms, and torso lifted, and after a few seconds, I tested my mobility.
I lifted my leg and then sat up. My heart raced, and my breath came out hard as I finally opened my mouth.
My body flushed. I couldn’t believe that had happened again, and right next to Bradley this time. I covered my mouth with both hands and looked down at him as he slumbered peacefully.
I’d been struggling all day with my thoughts and feelings. I’d been frustrated over the proof that, even if Bradley’s personality changed, our chemistry wouldn’t. He could become a stellar boyfriend now, but there was no guarantee that the change would last.
What if he got angry again? What if he hit me again? What if bland, passionless sex was all I ever knew? What if a love that was real, calm, and safe awaited me?
While I didn’t know what this thing was that kept bringing me pleasure, it—along with Dante’s lingering words—helped me realize one thing.
I couldn’t do this with Bradley anymore.
I SAT ON THE PARK bench on Friday evening. The December air kissed my cheeks, but not even that could reach deep enough to settle my nerves. My knee bounced, and I fidgeted my hands in my lap, picking at my already raw thumb.
I told myself this was the right decision. I told myself that this was for the best—at least for now. But those reminders didn’t make the panic lessen.
Blowing out a hard breath, I dialed the only person I had to talk to.
“Star,” Dante answered on the first ring.
“I’m breaking up with Bradley,” I announced in a breathless rush.
“What?” he asked in surprise.
“I did a lot of thinking over the last few days, and I … I think you’re right. I can’t let my fear of what may or may not be real stop me from at least seeing if there is more out there.”
“Damn,” Dante responded. I was pretty sure I could hear a smile in his voice, which managed to warm me a little. “I’m proud of you. When are you gonna dump that fucker?”
“Right now.”
There was a beat of silence before Dante exclaimed, “What? Now? Where are you?”
“At Weston’s Park downtown. I feel like he deserves to be told in person, and I really want to rip this bandaid off. The stress has been killing me all day at work.”
Dante grew quiet again. Eventually, he asked, “Are you going to be okay?”
I swallowed hard and looked up at the gray sky. “I—I’m not sure, yet. I hope so. I just don’t want this to be a huge mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake. You’re going to be better off without him. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right.”
My phone buzzed, and I pulled it away to glance at the notification. When I saw Bradley’s text, letting me know he was here, I nearly lost my lunch. I quickly put the phone back to my ear and rushed to say, “He’s here. Talk later.”
I hung up before Dante could say a word. A few moments later, Bradley appeared on the park pathway. He wore his khakis and company pullover, and a dark toboggan covered his fluffy red hair. I returned the smile he sported and stood to give him a hug.
“Hey,” I greeted. “Thanks for coming out here.”
“Sure,” he said as he sat with me. “I’m confused why we’re here, though. It’s cold.”
“Sorry,” I apologized, burrowing down deeper into my black coat. “This won’t take long.”
He raised a brow as his blue eyes scanned the distance I’d put between us on the bench.
When he met my eyes again, I ripped off the bandaid. “I don’t think this is working anymore, Bradley.”