Chapter 25 #2
I stomped upstairs to Zagan’s kitchen and grabbed the first bottle of bourbon I saw.
I stared at it for a moment before deciding it wouldn’t be strong enough to drown out these fucker’s taunts and reminders of old wounds.
With a snap of my fingers, I replaced the bourbon with Hell Fire, a sweet, fiery alcohol from Hell.
This would diminish my bandmate’s jokes.
Hopefully, it would also drown out the inner turmoil I’d been feeling about where I stood with Serenity.
I’d pulled her away from Bradley. I’d shoved our closeness in his face.
He hadn’t contacted her or approached her at work in the week since that phone call, which meant he’d probably gotten the message.
But even though all signs pointed to my mission being accomplished, I refused to admit it was done.
I couldn’t say that Bradley’s tower had crumbled while Serenity remained atop, because if that excuse for why I was with her was gone, I’d have to face why I still continued seeing her.
I couldn’t fucking do that.
I couldn’t admit why I still called her over to read well into the night or why I went to her for evening coffee and K-drama marathons.
So more work had to be done. I still had more to do to pry Serenity away from Bradley and shove him harder and harder into despair.
I threw back the burning drink straight from the neck of the bottle.
“Going from humming to drinking like that? You’ve got it bad,” Xander quipped cheerfully as he and the rest of the band appeared upstairs.
Stalkers.
“Don’t tease him, Xander,” Perseus rebuked. He stood next to Xander, both adjacent to me. “He’s clearly not used to these emotions.”
“Not the dreaded emotions!” Xander gasped in faux fear, covering his mouth with his painted black nails. His eyes widened in horror.
“Shut up,” I snapped before downing more Hell Fire.
“We’re just messing, man,” Zagan said as he rounded the kitchen island to stand across from me. He leaned against the counter and crossed his tattooed arms. He nodded his head at Perseus and Xander beside me. “Trust me. We get what it’s like.”
“Get what?” I hissed with narrowed eyes. “There’s nothing to get. I don’t feel a damn thing for anyone.”
Zagan was the first to drop his grin. “It’s okay to give in this time. It’s okay to admit that you have feelings for a human. She’s not your past.”
“I don’t have feelings for her,” I growled, slamming my drink down.
My heart raced, and my breath came out hard as frustrated fury and confusion swirled in my chest like an ugly turbulent ball. Did I believe my words? I had to. I had to believe what I was saying, because the alternative meant that I … for Serenity …
I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t stomach admitting something I knew to be wrong and a lie after what had happened before.
Which was why I needed these guys to shut the fuck up.
My dark, painful past was rising up inside of me, wrapping its evil hands around my throat until I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think. All I could do was rage and lash out.
I combusted in a fuming mess, ignorant of everything happening around me.
“Do you guys not understand that I don’t give a fuck about her?”
Perseus and Xander’s shoulders suddenly stiffened, and Zagan’s jaw clenched.
“Dante,” Xander murmured under his breath, black eyes darting to somewhere behind me.
“Shut up,” I snapped again. “You guys know this game I’m playing.
Because that’s all Serenity is. A fucking toy.
You think I care about her? She’s a pawn in a chess match with her dumbass boyfriend.
She means nothing to me, and as soon as I’m done making my point with her, I’ll toss her aside. Forgotten and useless.”
Glass shattered behind me. Time seemed to come to a screeching halt as I turned. Serenity stood there with wide gray eyes, which slowly filled with tears. A shattered picture frame rested on the ground at her feet, and her hands quivered around open air where she’d no doubt been holding the photo.
My stomach dropped in horror, and for many, many moments, no one moved. No one breathed. Everything had gone deathly still.
Finally, I took a tentative step toward her. “Serenity, I—”
Her lip began to tremble. She turned past the three girls at her side and walked toward the front door.
I ignored my bandmates and a shocked Iyla, Addie, and Harper to chase down Serenity. I grabbed her arm to stop her, my heart pounding faster than it ever had before. “Serenity, I—”
She whipped her head around to look at me over her shoulder. In that moment, I wanted her to glare at me. I wanted her to scream how much she hated me. I wanted her angry. Anything but this. Anything but the tears streaming down her cheeks and anguish clouding her eyes.
“I’m used to being the punch line of other people’s jokes, Dante,” she whispered on a hurt breath. Her frown deepened as more tears slid down her cheeks. “I just never expected to be yours.”
My mouth dried, and my tongue forgot how to form words. She yanked out of my grip. I watched with blood as cold as ice as she opened the door and left.
Gone.
She was gone.
“How could you say that?” Iyla yelled at me on her way toward the door.
Harper glared at me as she followed after Iyla.
Addie came around and shoved the broken picture frame at my chest. “She got this for you today. Not that you deserve it, you fucking asshole.” She rushed after the others in pursuit of Serenity.
I barely heard them. I didn’t hear Zagan or the other guys as they tried talking to me.
There was a piercing ring in my ear as I stared at the spot Serenity had just been in, the image of her hurt, tear-streaked face ingrained in my mind like a festering scar.
I’d put that look on her face, and now … she was gone.
I managed to suck in a hard breath, and without saying another word to the guys, I let shadows converge around me before stumbling out of them in my home library.
My knees gave out as the shock continued to pelt me, and I leaned my back against the foot of the couch.
Trying to regain control of my pounding heart, I finally pulled the broken frame away from my chest. A painful huff tore through my lips when I saw it was the photo of her and I from the zoo with our face paint and animal ears.
That day had been amazing. It was a day when she took a hammer to the weak points in my wall and began to chisel away at it.
It was a day when she’d finally given herself a chance to explore the physical intimacy she’d been craving but lacking.
It was a day when I felt I may have something real right beside me.
But now that space was empty.
“It’s fine,” I mumbled to myself, even as I pulled the picture in close to my chest. “This is fine. This is for the best.”
I was always going to break things off with Serenity. Our “relationship” was always going to come to an end. I hadn’t intended to end it like this, but the outcome was always going to be what it was—her walking out the door.
Now she knew the truth. She knew my intentions as I’d spent these months with her. She knew the monster I’d tried telling her that I was.
Everything could go back to normal now. I could play around and hate humans while she could move on with her life, finding someone better than both me and Bradley. It was fine.
So why couldn’t I stop whispering, “What have I done?”