Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
DAMIEN
A s I stood between Clover’s spread legs—clutching her smooth thigh in one hand and a stale pastry in the other—two very different hungers were tearing me apart. I needed food, as much as I could get. My stomach twisted in pain as I swallowed the bite I’d just taken, demanding more, filling me with a sense of urgency. But seeing Clover relaxed and happy, feeling her long auburn hair brush across my bare chest as she leaned forward in laughter, watching my blazer slide off her freckled shoulder as she sat back up, staring at my chewing mouth with hooded eyes— that filled me with a need that was far more ravenous.
Holding the last bite of croissant to her smiling mouth, I held my breath as Clover’s lips parted and wrapped around my fingertips. Her eyes closed as she pulled away, taking the bread with her, which caused both my stomach and my fully hard cock to ache at the loss.
I wanted nothing more than to shove my hand back into her hair, taste the chocolate on her tongue, and slide her hips to the edge of the display case so that we could pick up where we’d left off in Howth … without an audience. I could still feel her, on a very different counter, dripping wet and bucking against me. My cock was still coated with the proof of her arousal. But what had happened before and after that moment … I had no idea how she was even functioning. I’d seen the impression her body had left in the field, legs spread, just like this.
Fuck.
I stepped away from her and wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my trousers, pretending to peruse the baked goods in the case as I took a few much-needed breaths.
“Ya know what?” I mused, keeping my gaze locked on the assorted sweets between her dangling feet. “I think ya are gonna have to fight me for the rest of these croissants.”
Clo giggled and pretended to kick me before hopping down off the display case, and I politely stumbled backward, as if I’d been struck.
But really, I just needed the space.
Sitting on the floor—her on her knees, digging things out of the display case, and me a safe distance away with my back against a cabinet—we ate for what felt like hours.
“Oh my God, these banana nut muffins …”
“Cheesecake?! When was the last time you had cheesecake?”
“This blueberry scone might be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“I was wrong. This apple tart …” She moaned deep in her throat. “God, what is that? Cinnamon? Cardamom?”
I had no idea if the food was good or not. I ate everything she handed me, but all of my awareness was focused on watching Clover enjoy herself. Hearing her soft moans of pleasure. Memorizing the way she wiggled and danced when she found something she liked. It was a torture far more delicious than anything in that case. But even in the presence of pure joy, the darkness caught up with me.
It always did.
It listed my crimes, over and over in my head.
Traitor. Defector. Murderer , it whispered.
They’re going to find you.
You can’t escape from this.
They’re going to find you and turn you over to your father, and he’s going to break you once and for all.
And if she’s with you when you’re discovered—after what you did to save her …
I shook my head as I stared at the side of her perfect face in the moonlight. I pictured the parts of her they would present to me first. Her slender fingers, her ears, her nose. They’d make me watch, make it last for days.
“Damien?”
“Hmm?” I glanced up to find Clover frowning at me.
“What’s wrong?”
I forced a smirk before glancing from her worried face to the glass case. “Just poutin’ ’cause ya haven’t given me one of those biscuits yet.”
Clover followed my gaze and grinned.
The bleakness of my thoughts had destroyed my appetite, but I’d eat my fucking boot if I thought it would keep that smile on her face.
Grabbing two small biscuits out of the case—little beige ovals with a layer of cream filling in the middle—Clo handed one to me and crashed hers into the side of it as if they were pints of stout.
“ Sláinte !” she cheered, taking a bite.
And with my stomach in knots, I did the same.
The moment that vanilla custard hit my tongue, the noxious cloud of dread that had been slowly suffocating me vanished, replaced by the warmth of the fucking sun on my skin. The flavor was so familiar, so … important , but I couldn’t place it. My mind tore through every memory I had, looking for the source, while my body hummed and buzzed with some unknown pleasure. It felt like laughter, like sex, like drugs—it was the high most people spent their entire lives chasing, and I’d found it with her, on the floor of a bakery in Wexford.
When the world finally came back into focus, Clover was kneeling in front of me with a half-eaten biscuit in her hand. I wanted to ask if she’d felt it, too, but I didn’t have to. The stunned gasp on her panting lips and hopeful glimmer in her wide green eyes said it all.
My heart pumped hard and steady, like the beat of a marching drum I couldn’t ignore. I knew I should leave her alone—take her upstairs and put her to bed—but my body wasn’t taking orders from me anymore.
Dropping my gaze to Clover’s mouth, I ran my thumb along her sugar-dusted bottom lip as I licked my own.
“Feelin’ better?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
Clover nodded, leaning into my touch. Those big, round eyes were locked on mine, and the need I saw in them mirrored my own.
“You want me to kiss you, angel?”
Clo dropped her gaze as a shy smile bloomed across her face. I cupped her jaw as I waited for the nod, and the moment I felt her chin dip, I leaned forward and pressed a simple, closed-mouth kiss to the center of her fat bottom lip.
Which only made her smile wider.
Leaning back, I smirked as Clover tried and failed to regain control of her face. As badly as I needed to fuck her—and it was a need , had been since the moment I’d woken up with her sprawled across my chest—I couldn’t imagine anything better than the swell of pride I felt over her reaction to a single fucking kiss.
“Shut up,” Clo said, swatting playfully at my face before covering hers with both hands.
Reaching up, I wrapped my hands around her forearms and lowered them gently, causing her to blush even harder.
She dropped her head, trying to hide behind her wavy mane of hair as that smile turned into a laugh.
“You’re so mean!”
“I just wanna see you.”
“See me make an arse outta myself.”
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Clo …”
“Mm-mm.”
Lifting her chin, I waited for her to make eye contact with me. And she did, but only after pressing her lips between her teeth to squash her smile.
I shook my head with a chuckle as I pulled her bottom lip free with my thumb. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” she asked innocently, dropping her eyes again as that smile returned.
“Don’t hide. Not from me. This smile … this face …” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers again, reveling in the sharp gasp that passed through them the moment I was done. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever fuckin’ seen.”
I kissed her again, lingering this time, and in that space, I felt the entire fucking universe hold its breath. Time seemed fluid when I was with Clover. Like a dark sea where the current moved more slowly the farther out you drifted. I hadn’t sorted out how to stop it completely, but as soon as I did, I would. I’d stay like this, with her, until the last star in the sky imploded, and then I’d float with her in the stagnant abyss.
Pressing her forehead to mine, Clover’s smile disappeared as she placed her hands on the sides of my face.
Then, she tilted her head and kissed me back.