Chapter 12 #2
I pushed the thought aside. Perhaps my barrier around the hex bag had failed—it could’ve been affecting her more than I’d realized, and she either wanted it gone or it drove her to abnormal behavior.
I’d trusted that my barrier had prevented the influence of the hex bag from spreading through the house, but it had been a long time since I cast one.
If I’d failed to properly activate the salt or there had been a gap in the iron, some of the negative energy I’d meant to pour into the hex bag could have escaped, and the fawn had been standing at my elbow almost the entire time.
For the hell of it, I turned to the computer and repeated my search.
My query about teeth brought up mostly fanged deer, a variety of species across Asia that grew something close to tusks.
There were also some gnarly jawbone malformations in adult whitetails, but nothing about fawns growing adult teeth at just a few days old.
I switched my search to meat-eating and found more.
There were multiple recorded instances of deer, elk, and moose eating meat, everything from snakes to live goslings to human remains.
The behavior seemed isolated and the theories around it vague; some articles suggested calcium deficiency while others proposed it was the beginning of an evolution toward a generalist diet.
The one thing every account agreed on was that it was weird and unsettling.
There was, once again, no mention of the behavior in fawns.
I was just clicking away from a photo of a doe apparently eating roadkill when I sensed someone stop behind me. I hurriedly closed the browser and spun in my chair like a teenager caught looking at porn. Evelyn was standing behind me, her expression uncertain.
“Hi, Tess,” she said stiffly. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I guessed from her tone that she had a bone to pick with me; the last time she’d spoken to anyone in the group with anything but her fluttery enthusiasm, it had been to Georgie about dropping out of the Main Street committee, and that spat had lasted more than a month.
I stood so I didn’t have to stare up at her while she berated me.
“Hi, Evelyn,” I said evenly. “How are things?”
“Good, good,” she answered. “Paul made it to Virginia in one shot, if you can believe that. I hate long car trips without a break. I’d rather take my time and enjoy the ride, you know?”
I didn’t know; by the time I’d been able to get a driver’s license and buy a vehicle, I’d already been tethered to the sanctuary. “He seemed pretty anxious to be gone and close this chapter,” I said, thinking of the downed apple tree behind the house. “I guess I’m not surprised.”
“I was hoping right up until the end that he’d change his mind. It’s not like he had to farm if he didn’t want to—he could’ve done exactly what his parents are doing. Everyone wants a barn wedding these days, and that property is so beautiful.”
“That’s true,” I answered, guarded. She was taking her time getting around to what she wanted to say to me, which only made me warier.
“Well, no point in going on about it now, I suppose. How are things with you?”
“Pretty much the same as always—more calls than usual, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“That’s good. Hey, listen—”
Here it comes, I thought grimly.
“I know that we’re decades past women always being expected to marry, and I know you’re an independent girl who’s not afraid to buck tradition, and I’ve always admired that about you.
You’re a girl after my own heart, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you, but I just wanted to—wanted to remind you that around here, that’s still seen as kind of, you know, rebellious.
People pay more attention to what you do, you know?
And they’re always more willing to be critical; I know that better than anyone. So just something to be aware of.”
I paused, utterly confused. I knew why Evelyn should know this better than anyone; she’d never married, and ever since she’d started hitching rides with Georgie, there had been rumors about them. I had nothing so scandalous in my life, save the devil.
“Okay,” I said finally. “What is this about, exactly?”
“Nothing specific, really. Just, you know, in general. Especially when we have new folks in town, we want to put our best foot forward.”
“I don’t disagree with you, but it’s kind of hard to make sure I do that when I don’t know what I did wrong in the first place.”
“Well, I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Evelyn,” I snapped, my patience at the breaking point. “Will you just fucking say what it was?”
There was a breath of unbearable silence, the weight of yellow books pressing down on us. Evelyn’s face tightened, her mouth drawing into a sour little pucker that reminded me of Rachel.
“David Abdee,” she said. “The pastor’s son. Someone saw him getting out of your truck.”
“ ‘Someone’? And also, is that illegal?”
“No, Tess, it’s not illegal, and like I said, I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong. But it doesn’t look right. You’re a young, unmarried woman who lives alone, and if people see a boy like that getting out of your vehicle, they’re going to make assumptions.”
“Then let them make their goddamn assum—”
“And furthermore,” Evelyn interrupted me, raising her voice to such a level we could no longer pretend Millie didn’t hear, “his parents don’t know you at all, so if someone goes to them and says, ‘Hey, what was your son doing with Tess Wynne?’ they’re likely to jump to the wrong conclusion.”
In those words, I heard the echo of Norman’s accusation, saw the shine of self-pity in his eyes.
Fury dawned on me, as slow and red as a sunrise after a storm.
It would never matter what I actually did; they would accuse me all the same.
They would make me a monster whether I chose to be one or not.
“In that case, they can come to me and ask,” I snarled. “You don’t need to come ambush me like the morality police. Are you going to measure my hem next?”
“I don’t see why you’re angry at me when I’m trying to help you! I came to you as a friend so they wouldn’t confront you! Is it so much to ask that you not go driving around with teenage boys?”
“It’s not like it was a fucking joy ride! He brought me a squirrel! He walked all the way up the west hill, so I gave him a ride home!”
“Why is he bringing you anything? If they need help with pests, why aren’t his parents calling you?”
I lurched up from my chair. “Because your precious pastor is just another asshole who’s cruel for sport and convenience,” I breathed. “He’s not any different or any better than any other schmuck in this town, so I don’t know why you’re so fucking anxious to impress him.”
I drew back. Evelyn was cringing against a stack of books, her hands white-knuckled around the strap of her bag. I sensed Millie behind one of the nearby shelves, a bundle of nerves and bated breath in my awareness. For a moment, the only sound was the floor creaking beneath our shifting weight.
Evelyn gathered herself. She flexed her fingers, crooked with arthritis, and I heard the soft pop of the tendons as she readjusted her bag.
The rage coursing through me cooled instantly, crystalizing into regret.
I reached for the magic, seeking a way to comfort her when I knew my words would fail, and came up empty.
“Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I just don’t understand why you decided to take their side before you even talked to me. We’ve been friends a long time, and you hardly even know them.”
“I wasn’t taking anyone’s side,” Evelyn said coldly. “I was telling you how it looked. Seeing how defensive you got, though, maybe I shouldn’t have assumed you did nothing wrong.”
“Evelyn—”
“I have an appointment. Bye, Tess.”
Sudden panic filled me, rooted me to the spot. My supposed friends were already turning on me, and I had no power to stop it.
Evelyn stormed out, the heavy front door slamming behind her and leaving the library in even thicker silence than before.
I sank back into my chair and stared unseeing at the open page of the book in front of me, a headache gathering steam behind my eyes.
I shouldn’t have said anything at all about the pastor—now I’d pitted myself against him in Evelyn’s eyes, and her view would surely spread.
For so long, my magic had helped quell any confrontation, and now my ability to manage conflict was rusty, my emotions too sharp and close to the surface.
I closed down my browser, gathered all my books into a neat pile, and stood. Millie appeared around a shelf as if she’d been waiting for me to leave. “Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked anxiously.
“Not exactly,” I said, “but I still learned a few things.”
She gave me a brief, sympathetic smile. “Well, good. Did you want to take any of these home?”
“No, thanks. Appreciate the help, Millie.”
The first wildlife call came early the next morning, just as I was finishing up the breakfast rounds.
It was another young raccoon, apparently half-drowned in a rain barrel.
I was surprised anyone had enough left in a rain barrel to attract a raccoon, let alone drown one.
The woman who made the call was named Anne, and she didn’t seem to remember she’d called me every year the past six years to ask how deep was too deep for a birdbath.
“I thought he was dead,” she said, her voice loud with nerves. “Then my husband dumped it out and he started to move a little, but I don’t know. Still out there in my driveway.”