Chapter 37 Goodbyes & Gold
Chapter thirty-seven
Goodbyes & Gold
Ceres’ joy when I asked if she wanted to see her grandchildren was almost worth the nerve it took me to lie to Oberon’s face.
It was only half a lie, because I had told him we were going to the Hollow.
But the reason I had given for bringing Ceres along was that little Vale had broken his leg.
Naturally, he needed my healing gift, and his grandmother.
Oberon considered my request carefully over his morning cup of tea and, again, I wondered if he was capable of sensing dishonesty.
“You are confident Antenor is fully healed?” he asked. “Even his eye?”
“His wounds are healed, yes, save for the scarring. I could not save the vision in his eye, but at least it did not need to be removed. There is little I can do about the fact that he refuses to get out of bed.”
Oberon sighed and tipped his head back, letting his long ropes of white hair trail on the library’s rug. “If I send him back like this, Mariaat will have no cause to spare his life. But the only thing he has said to me these past days is that he wishes to go home.”
“So you will just allow him to throw his life away?” I said angrily. “Because he wishes it?”
“I will allow him to make his own choice, Marina, just as I did with Lyric. I cannot keep him here under guard for the rest of his miserable days, so what would you have me do?” His tone was even, but still hurt, so I pulled my own frustration back.
I knew this was not a decision he wanted to make, but it had fallen unfairly on him nonetheless.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I know you think of him as your own.”
“If there was any other path, I would take it.” He looked out at the steely, rain-heavy clouds gathering above the Arden, and I waited for him to speak again.
“You and Ceres may go to the Hollow. Take as much time as you need to heal the boy, and let her spend time with her family. But when you return, Antenor will likely be gone. I have made arrangements for his return already.”
“I will…say my goodbyes now, then,” I told him, turning to leave the library.
On the landing outside Antenor’s room, I stopped and took a deep breath.
I could hear movement inside, and knocked quietly before entering.
He was finally sitting up, lacing his boots and wearing a long-sleeved tunic beneath his cuirass.
It covered the scars on his arms, but the damage everywhere else was impossible to hide.
I tried not to wince when he looked up at me.
His left eye was scarred and clouded-over now, the skin around it puckered with fresh scar tissue, and the rest of his once-handsome face had been painted over with the same grotesque brush.
His long braid, and the shining horns curling around the sides of his head were the only familiar features I might have identified him by.
“Don’t do this,” I said for what must have been the hundredth time. He stood up, appearing strangely smaller now, even though his stature had not changed. Off balance without his great wings, he swayed a little, and his reply to me was flat.
“There is nothing here for me.”
“There is safety here, and family! A life you can choose for yourself.”
“Cowardice,” he spat. “Hiding in the softness of the forest to avoid facing the repercussions of my own failure.”
“You didn’t fail!” I insisted, reaching for his arm. “You were ambushed and saved your own life at a terrible cost.”
“And now, I cannot even remember anything that might help catch my attacker!” he growled, jerking away from me and turning his back. “No. My usefulness as a soldier and as a man has come to an end.”
“What about your usefulness as a cousin?” I asked, voice wavering. “You promised to tell me more stories about my mother, and you cannot do that if you are dead.” He looked over his shoulder and for a split second I thought he might change his mind.
“I am not afraid to die, Marina,” he sighed, facing me again, “but I do wish it had been at your hand…not my father’s.”
“Then brand me a coward,” I cried, “for I would see you live! And if Lyric was here, I know she would too.” My lip and hands trembled, eyes stinging with tears that I refused to let him see.
Antenor studied me for a moment with his head tilted, then murmured, “You are so like her. Stubbornly kind, but stubbornly naive about the way the world really works. Especially my world.”
“Fuck you!” I snarled. “Go on, then! Throw yourself on Mariaat’s sword and see what kind of honor it gets you in the next life!”
“And there is your father,” he laughed. “They would both be proud of you. Oberon is proud of you. Titania too, even if she won’t admit it.
Consider yourself fortunate to have such a family.
” He put a hand on my shoulder and attempted a gentle smile, which looked more like a grimace on his mangled lips.
But then something flashed in his single, dark eye and he brushed a rogue tear from my cheek. “Be good…little cousin.”
As he left the room and mounted the staircase, I couldn’t help but feel like he’d been seeing Lyric in my face, and it very nearly broke me.
On my way down to fetch Ceres, however, the brutal unfairness of it all sank over me, and I sat down on the staircase.
Clutching the bannister for support, I allowed myself a few minutes of furious sobs, stifled by my other hand.
My body shook with barely contained rage and barely controlled grief, my shadows consuming the air around me until I could hardly breathe.
I only came back to myself when the bannister cracked beneath my grip and I realized I’d been pouring my magyk into the wood.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, addressing the tree herself. I pulled myself back together, wiping my face on my sleeves, then used my magyk to knit the bannister back together too. With a deep, shuddering breath, I stood and put my tears away, knowing I would need more before this was all over.
The cold, empty pit in my stomach was temporarily filled with warmth as I watched Ceres tearfully reunite with Larch and his children.
But as soon as Myrtle and Vale led her from the clearing, chattering happily, the warmth dissipated.
Larch’s dark face was deadly serious, as was the look he exchanged with Devil, who put his fingers in his mouth and let out a long, low whistle.
Jon came lumbering down the hill in his bear form, and beside him was Will.
I let out a soft squeal and ran past the bear to throw my arms around him.
He held me tightly and whispered, “Hello, May.”
“What are you doing here? I mean…besides…” With a wicked grin, I flicked my eyes back toward Jon, and Will blushed a deep crimson.
“I-I wasn’t sure if…if you knew…”
“No one here can keep secrets with Devil around,” I laughed.
“And you don’t…hate me?” Will asked, his eyes wide with worry.
“Why on earth would I hate you?”
He shrugged, but his voice filled with apprehension and he mumbled, “It isn’t exactly…normal, is it?” Every emotion imaginable surged inside me and I pulled him forcefully back into our embrace.
“The only thing abnormal about this is the…occasional difference in species,” I said. “And if anyone ever tells you otherwise, I will take care of them myself.” Will responded with a loud, barking laugh, but then he pulled away, his forehead crinkling.
“You promise you aren’t upset though? I mean, it has only been a few weeks since you and I…”
“Oh!” I had to fight the nervous giggle coming up in my throat. Clearly, he was unaware of how quickly I had also moved on from our relationship. “Of course, I’m not upset! Will, I only ever wanted you to be happy. Are you happy?”
His soft, hazel eyes drifted past me, to where Jon had turned back into a man and was pulling on a pair of trousers. The bear-man grinned at us and winked.
“Yes,” Will said at last. “I am happy.”
“Then that’s all that matters. Now, tell me what you’re doing in my forest!”
We walked arm-in-arm back to where everyone was standing outside Aliena’s cottage, muttering amongst themselves as the rain clouds began to drizzle.
Devil waited until we were close, then clapped his hands and held them out, sending a blanket of faint, shimmering light over the cottage to form a low dome.
Some sort of ward against eavesdroppers, I suspected, and my stomach twisted. This was clearly not a social visit.
“Inside,” he said, and we all followed Jon into the house. Aliena was already sitting at the table, while Larch perched on a windowsill. Devil leaned against the back wall so Jon and Will could take the seats across from Aliena. I sat beside her and we exchanged strained smiles.
“Everyone,” Devil said smoothly. “You already know Mister William Scarlett—”
Will cleared his throat. “It’s…it’s just Will…”
Devil stopped and glared at him. “William here has brought some news, which is of interest to this little band. Particularly to you, May.” Will took Jon’s outstretched hand and squeezed it, then looked directly at me before speaking.
“Johar and my father have…decided that the Arden poses a threat to us, and the whole thing is my fault.”
“Your fault?” I said incredulously.
“Hush,” Devil admonished. I threw him a look, but shut my mouth.
“When I came to the forest looking for you, May, I didn’t think Helena would be fool enough to follow me.
I didn’t know about the…the love spell. We came back and her family assumed the worst. They decided that since I’d compromised her honor, our wedding needed to go ahead as they’d already planned, quickly.
My parents were delighted, naturally, but Johar seemed wary.
I thought giving Helena the antidote would…
would set everything right, but it’s just gotten worse. ”
He took a long, deep breath and covered his face with his hands.