CHAPTER FORTY-TWO #2
To my surprise, he took a deep breath and did just that.
“Jemma wasn’t always the way she is now—or was when I last saw her, at least,” he said in a mournful voice that gave me pause.
“When she was young, she was sweet and innocent and a joyful presence in my life.” A reminiscent smile overtook his tense expression, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was looking at a Yael of old that no longer existed.
“We were ten and eight when our parents were killed. Since I was the eldest, it was my job to take care of her and keep her safe—no easy feat on the east side of London in those times.”
“You were orphans,” I said, doing nothing to hide the surprise in my voice.
“Yes.”
Shame flooded my cheeks. “I… I always assumed—”
“That I was born with a silver spoon shoved up my ass?” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and I shrunk a bit in my seat.
“Quite the opposite, I’m afraid. For years, I scratched out an existence for the two of us, but it was difficult and dangerous, especially for fae younglings with very little power.
” His brow furrowed with a memory. “When Jemma was in her late teens, her power grew enough for us to know what she was… and was capable of doing. That truth made my job even more problematic.”
“What is she?” I dared to ask as I studied his profile.
“A death fae,” he replied, a note of disdain to his words I couldn’t ignore.
“They are rare, much like those who can wield the Siren’s Song, and her abilities come at a heavy price.
” He scrubbed his hand over his weary face as he stopped at a red light.
“Death fae are generally misunderstood and rightfully feared, but Jemma was able to control her power for years, and together, we were able to claw our way up the fae hierarchy. But the higher we climbed, the more she began to change. That sweet, bubbly girl became something far more sinister and dangerous. She began using her power for money, taking jobs from less than scrupulous individuals. Her contact list was filled with the most nefarious fae in all of England and beyond. Her moral compass had long since broken, and I knew if I didn’t do something, I’d lose her forever. ”
“You can’t always save others from their power,” I muttered to myself, thinking about how badly that had ended for me before I’d even gotten a chance to try to save the queen.
“True, but I had to try.” The leather of the steering wheel groaned as he gripped it tighter. “Jemma’s powers… they’re complicated. She can remove souls from their bodies, but that’s only one facet of her ability. The others are far more nuanced and bear the brunt of the fallout.”
“Like removing evil,” I said, finally realizing the depth of what was happening.
He gave a tight nod in response. “It seemed a noble charge at first as she used it to save possessed children and the cursed. But over time, it became clear that whatever evil she took somehow clung to her. And the more she used that ability, the worse it got, until there was very little of her left.”
“What did you do?” I whispered, afraid I already knew the answer.
He took another deep breath. “I asked her to give some to me—to spare her.” A trail of ice slid down my spine at his words.
“I knew it was forbidden, but I didn’t care.
I wanted her back—the Jemma I remembered.
I wasn’t worried about the consequences, whatever they proved to be.
If it helped her, they were worth it.” His empty, distant gaze drifted past me to the road beyond as the memory of what had happened clearly played out in his mind.
“She fought me on the idea at first for fear of what would happen to me, but I’d caught her at her lowest, and I could see the little girl I’d known peering back at me in those wild, bloodshot eyes.
Even she couldn’t deny the mess she’d made, so I didn’t have to say anything else.
She reached her hand to me, placed it on my chest, and whispered a warning to me.
..” His hand drifted absentmindedly to where his tattoo lay under his shirt.
“The second her skin met mine, she channeled all of that corrupted energy into me until I could barely breathe. And when she was done,” he said, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt, “I was left with this—and all the pitfalls that came along with it that I wouldn’t learn about until much later. Along with their costs.”
He didn’t have to explain what those pitfalls were. I’d seen one assassinate the druid while I stood by and watched in horror.
“It was worth it,” he said, still not meeting my gaze.
“She was herself again for many, many years after that. But London was full of temptation she couldn’t escape, and eventually, she let the devil back in, as it were.
I moved us to Seattle—to the king—to try to escape her fate. But I failed her once again.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said, inching closer to him.
“Oh, but it is, little mermaid. It’s all my fault.”
Without thinking, I reached across the divide and placed my hand on his arm. “You can’t blame yourself for this,” I said, squeezing it lightly. “I know more than anyone that we can’t be held responsible for the poor choices of those closest to us.”
He looked at me for a moment—like, really looked at me—then focused his attention back on the road.
“Responsible or not, Jemma’s poor choices led to her powers being whored out by Loreleia, and I am going to get her back.
But hear me when I say this: Loreleia is not to be trifled with.
Her gifts are insidious and powerful, and she can sense a lie from a mile away.
There are few that can successfully deceive her, so there will be no room for you to go rogue once we get there. ”
“What’s the plan?”
“Same as always; use your power to get the answers we need. But first, we need to get cleaned up,” he said as he rolled up to his building. “We’re going to need to put on quite a performance.”