Chapter 22
JENNA
Enzo nips at my lips, once…twice…, then his hand cups the back of my head, and his tongue sweeps into my mouth.
Just like earlier, there's an explosion of colorful fireworks, and the sensations are so overwhelming, I whimper.
He answers with a groan that rumbles deep from his chest, and I feel it beneath my palms.
Enzo wraps his other arm around my back, and I’m squashed to him while he devours me in a way that makes me feel like I’m all that matters to him.
I move my hands up to cup his jaw, and when I try to pull myself higher, my body rubs against his.
Enzo instantly breaks the kiss, and extracting himself from beneath me, he shoots off the bed and walks to the other side of the room.
Dazed, I push up on my hands and knees, and when he looks at me, he hisses, “Foda-se!”
Confused, I watch as he stalks out of the bedroom, and I slump to my butt, staring at the doorway and wondering what I did wrong.
I wait a minute or so, and when he doesn’t return, I grab my phone and scoot off the bed. While I tuck the device into my pocket, I shove my feet into my sneakers.
Walking to the doorway, I stop to peek into the living room, and seeing him sitting in the living room with his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands covering his face, I begin to worry that I triggered him in some way.
“Are you okay?” I ask, my tone tense.
He pulls his hands away, and looking at me, he nods. “I’m fine.”
I walk a little closer, wrapping my arms around myself and feeling very insecure. I don’t know what to do, and duck my head low.
“Come here,” he murmurs.
I shake my head and whisper, “I’m sorry for whatever I did wrong. I’m not good at…kissing and those kinds of things.”
“You did nothing wrong, meu anjinho.” I hear him get up and the sound of his footsteps as he comes closer to me. He pulls me into a tight embrace and presses a kiss to the top of my head, then says, “I had to stop things because it was turning me on too much.”
Realizing Enzo left the room for my sake only makes me trust him more.
I pull my arms free from between us and place them around his waist. “Thank you for showing me I can trust you.”
“You’re welcome, meu amor.”
I’m quiet for a little while, then I say, “You need to teach me what all the words mean.”
He lets go of me and gestures at the door. “I’ll tell you while we do some shopping.”
Excitement trickles into my chest, and when he takes my hand, I smile up at him. “I’ve never been on a date before, and even though I messed the champagne all over the place, I’m really loving it. Thank you for bringing me here.”
Enzo leans down and kisses my mouth in a tender way that has my stomach doing cartwheels, then he murmurs in a deep tone, “Anything for you, meu anjinho.” As we walk to the door, he translates, “My little angel.”
“Why do you call me that?” I ask as we step into the hallway, which has a thick, plush red carpet.
“Because to me, you’re as innocent as an angel.”
We have to wait by the elevators for it to come up to our floor.
“Meu corac?o means my heart, and meu amor means my love.”
The doors slide open, and while we move into the elevator, I ask, “And the other word you said when you left the bedroom?”
“It’s the Portuguese equivalent of fuck.” Enzo glances down at me. “T?o Linda. So beautiful. Tu és minha. You’re mine.”
I remember something and burst out laughing. “You said that, the first day we met, and I thought you were calling me Linda instead of Jenna.”
The doors open, and the instant I see the people waiting in the lobby, my laughter dies away.
I move closer to Enzo as I bow my head.
He lets go of my hand and moves to my other side before he places his arm around my shoulders. “I need my right hand free in case we run into trouble.”
I wait until we pass a couple before I glance up and him and ask, “Trouble? I don’t think we’ll see the MC here.”
“I have enemies all over the world.”
We leave the hotel, and I glance around us, trying to figure out where we’re going. After crossing a street, I see a sign that says we’re entering a mall. A wide smile spreads over my face, and my excitement grows until it buzzes in my chest.
My eyes dart from window to window, and not knowing what to do, I just keep looking at everything that’s for sale.
We turn right, and suddenly there are a lot of people.
Enzo steers me into a store, and we leave the masses behind, but then a woman comes toward us.
“Are you shopping for anything specific?” she asks, her tone sugary sweet.
“We don’t need assistance,” Enzo says, his tone dark.
“Okay. Just call me if you need anything.” She walks to where another woman is standing, and when they start whispering, it feels like they’re talking about me.
I shrink into myself, and it doesn’t escape Enzo’s attention. He pulls me to a stop, and placing his finger beneath my chin, he forces me to look at him.
“Do you want me to shoot them?”
“What?” I gasp. “No!”
“Then don’t let them get to you. I won’t tolerate anyone making you feel like you’re less than they are.
” His expression softens a little. “I want you to enjoy this shopping trip. It’s important to me because I remember how much fun I had when I got to buy new clothes, and I want you to experience it as well. ”
My heart.
So much warmth pours into my chest, there isn’t enough space to contain it all, and it feels as if it bursts from me in a wave of energy.
I didn’t know it was so easy to learn to love someone. Besides Mom and Aunt Sherrie, I’ve never loved anyone else until Enzo came along and took my life by storm.
Gosh, nothing is the same as before I met him.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Do you have any ideas what kind of clothes you would like to get?” he asks.
Boy, do I.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly go to my Pinterest board where I’ve gathered images of all the K-drama actresses I’ve loved over the years.
I scroll slowly so Enzo can see and say, “I like all of this.”
“I have my work cut out for me,” he murmurs, then he glances around, and the next second, he drags me toward a row of sweaters that look very soft.
For the next three hours, I learn the meaning of torture as Enzo makes me try on a gazillion items. We work our way through the entire line of stores on this level.
At every place we buy something, Enzo arranges for it to be delivered to the hotel, so I can’t keep track of what we’ve bought.
By the time the mall begins to quiet down, Enzo says, “Let’s head back for dinner. We can come again tomorrow morning.”
“Again?” I gasp. “I don’t know how much we got, but I’m pretty sure it’s way more than enough.”
He shakes his head. “We didn’t get shoes or any accessories.”
I didn’t even think of those.
He guides me out of the mall, which is just as well because I can’t remember where the entrance is.
When we get back to the hotel, I lower my head out of habit.
“Chin up, meu amor. You don’t have to hide anymore. I’m here to protect you now.”
His words hit me square in the chest. For so many years, I had to make myself smaller so people wouldn’t notice me, and with Enzo by my side, I don’t have to do that anymore.
You’d think after all the exercise I got from shopping, I’d fall asleep quickly, but no, I’ve been lying awake for what feels like hours.
Some of my clothes arrived soon after we got back, and I was able to take a bath and put on a pair of silky pajama shorts with a matching top. Enzo’s only wearing sweatpants.
The bed is very comfortable, but with Enzo sleeping right beside me, I just can’t switch off my brain. It’s overly focused on him, thinking about everything he’s done for me.
Three weeks ago, I was poor, alone, and on the verge of ending my life. Now I’m lying beside the man I’ve fallen in love with in a hotel room after shopping my butt off.
My stomach is full.
I’ve picked up weight.
I’ve been kissed in a way that’s exceeded my wildest fantasies.
“What are you thinking about?” Enzo suddenly asks.
I hesitate whether I should tell him, then turning on my side to face him, I admit, “Just about how much you’ve changed my life.”
He lifts his arm and says, “Come closer. You’re so far away from me, you’re going to fall off the bed.”
I sit up and move to the middle, and when I lie back down, Enzo wraps his arm around me and presses my head to his shoulder.
“That’s much better,” he sighs. “I know I’m making you change everything, but it’s for the best. You’ll get used to it soon.”
I tilt my face up. “Oh, I’m not complaining. Sure, it’s a lot, but you’ve done so many good things for me, and it just makes me…”
“What?”
I swallow hard, and it takes all my courage to admit, “Scared.”
His voice is low and deep as he asks, “Why?”
“Because what if things don’t work out…you know… between us?” I shake my head. “It’s hard to explain.”
“The only thing that can come between us is if you betray me.” He brings his hand to my face and brushes his fingers along the curve of my jaw. “I’m one hundred percent certain you’ll never do that to me.”
“Do you really trust me so much?”
Even though it’s dark in the room, I can make out Enzo’s eyes, and they’re locked on me as he says, “I’m about to sleep beside you. I’ve never done that before.” He leans down and gives me a gentle kiss. “That’s how much I trust you.”
“So, neither of us has shared a bed with someone before,” I whisper. “I like that I’m your first.”
“Good. Now try to get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”
I nod and close my eyes while snuggling into his chest. I wrap my arm around him, like I always do with my pillow, and let out a deep breath.
I don’t know how much time passes before I feel Enzo’s body relaxing and his breaths evening out.
My eyes open, and I stare at the outline of his chest and abs.
Worry trickles back into my heart because one thing that hasn’t changed is that I’m not sure whether I can ever have sex with Enzo. What if I try, and it takes me back to that night? Fear slithers down my spine at the mere thought.
Rather than going down the dark, rabbit hole of my traumatic past, I think about the kisses we shared today. I enjoyed those a lot. I love it when he holds me, and he makes me feel safe.
Suddenly, Enzo turns and throws his leg over both of mine. He lies partially on top of me, practically squashing me beneath his much bigger body.
I let out a squeak. One of my arms is pinned between us, and my other is clinging to his side.
He snuggles his face into the crook of my head and lets out a satisfied-sounding sigh.
It takes a moment for me to realize there’s no fear, but instead, I become highly aware of every inch of Enzo’s powerful body touching mine.
For the first time ever, I begin to think of a man’s body as attractive and not something that disgusts meOnly with Enzo, though. All other men still make me nauseated and fill me with extreme anxiety.
Enzo’s arm curls around me, and hugging me tightly to him, he mumbles sleepily near my ear, “Minha.”
I begin to feel emotional, and as my chin quivers, I realize a man is lying on top of me, and I’m not freaking out.
That’s huge.